Yup, she is.
I think when we first started going out she gave me head maybe about 3-4 times, for about 5mins.
2 weeks ago she gave me a brillaint hand job.
That's all i can say really.
If i criticize her she just gets in a mood & says something like "Yeah well I;m crap in bed", to which i reply "You didn't used to be".
I go down on her all the time, lick her pussy, her ass, give her massages, finger her, touch her. Everything.
When I'm horny & she's not in the mood I just have to face the other way & have a wank, she doesn't even offer to help or anything.
I've tried talking to her, & asking her for things, but she never does it for me.
I do everything for her sexually, I make her cum everytime we have sex... & i dont stop until i've made her cum. Even sometimes if i cum before she does ill get back up again & go at it until she does.
I'm very very generous in bed, & i expect the same.
What can i say to her without making it seem like im giving her crap about it?
I'd really really love a decent blow job until i cum, but i don't think i'm going to get one.
I could ask for one on my birthday i suppose.
It's not just a blow job im bothered about though, is a quick hand job too much to ask for? A massage? She's never given me a massage in the whole 1.4yrs we been together, yet i've given her countless ones. I even ask for them & she says she doesn't know how.
It hurts sometimes that she just cant be bothered to put herself out & please me like i please her.
Sex starts out with me stroking her body & licking parts & making her really wet, then she tells me she wants me so i wrap up & start riding away. We switch positions a few times until we both cum. Then that's it. Note that i dont get any pleasure in foreplay. It's just me doing it to her.
Im tempted at some point to say to her, when she says she wants me to **** her... "What about me? I've just been pleasing you & you havent done anything with me". I know it would just kill the moment though & put us both in rubbish moods for the rest of the day.
I even asked her to leave the room while i wanked on Sunday, she thought i did it to make her feel guilty, but i just wanted 10mins of privicy to do it, I'm sick of going to the bathroom to do it when she doesnt want sex.
Should i just say to her "I'm sick of being taken for granted, when i please you I'd like some pleasing back, it's not all just about you when we're doing foreplay... rather me doing foreplay".
I dont know what to say, because i know my emotions will always come out when i talk to her about it & il ltry to make her feel bad like she's made me feel bad.
I just want some sexual pleasure in the same way i give it to her.
I'd like for her to just say to me "Are you horny? Do you want a hand job"?
Such frustration.
I've even tried with the major hints, like keeping my genital area very well shaved, it's all clean & hairless & she still doesnt get it. Im not shaving for the good of my health, im shaving because I want to make her pleased with what she sees so she might pleasure me.
Sorry this is so long. Just everything built up again.
Sometimes (every few months) we have dirty weekends, where she lets me cum on her from wanking & some other stuff, but she still doesnt do anything to me.
Thanks for reading.
Tell her its give and take...I mean heI doubt you would want to put up with it for the rest of your life...Or go to therapy. Maybe she is just truly ignorant as to what to do...but I figure after 1.4 years she would get the hang of it.
[QUOTE=Ducy;196162]Tell her its give and take...I mean heI doubt you would want to put up with it for the rest of your life...Or go to therapy. Maybe she is just truly ignorant as to what to do...but I figure after 1.4 years she would get the hang of it.[/QUOTE]
She knows what I like, i've told her before.
I need to write her an email about it or something, it is give & take yes. I just need to find the right words to tell her that.
Her body is expressing thoughts she cannot yet put into words. Been there. You have to raise the subject and you better be prepared for any response she may blurt out.
[QUOTE=Brandye;196167]Her body is expressing thoughts she cannot yet put into words. Been there. You have to raise the subject and you better be prepared for any response she may blurt out.[/QUOTE]
You mean like having 2nd thoughts about me? I know thats not the case cos i know she'd just dump me if she was having 2nd thoughtsabout us.
She's weird & fridgid.
Sounds to me like there is some deep seated issues from her past...dont email her though...I mean talk to her in person...She may not neccessarily be having second thoughts, but she may feel as if it is all about sex. (I do not know how often you guys engage so I cannot be sure).
[QUOTE=Ducy;196171]Sounds to me like there is some deep seated issues from her past...dont email her though...I mean talk to her in person...She may not neccessarily be having second thoughts, but she may feel as if it is all about sex. (I do not know how often you guys engage so I cannot be sure).[/QUOTE]
She has said sometimes that she feels it's all about sex. I reassure her & she gets over it, then it comes back.
I only see her on weekends, if it were up to me we'd be doing it a few times a day(the days we do see each other). As it stands now I'm lucky if i get it once a week. We went 5 weeks without once, my balls were blue lol.
I feel emailing is the most sensible option as if we talk about it my emotions come out & i get a bit nasty about it cos im feeling so low about it all.
She's thought about it & she says she has no idea why she is like she is.
Well there you go. You only see her on weeends and if it were up to you you would do it a few times a day. The fact taht she isnt very into sex or doesnt want it very often is probably because she wants affection (nonsexual affection)and it has gotten to the point of affecting her sex drive or openess in bed....I believe its called inhibited sexual desire syndrome or something like that. Basically it can be people begin to steer clear of sex with someone because deep seated issues. (normally sexually abuse) or because they feel starved for affection and want their lover to look at them the way they did before sex. I am no doctor but it sounds like that to me.
Yeah but Sirene:
Did you not go through something similar a while back? She had no interest? Wait until foreplay, and ask her (after you tease her a bit)..."what are you going to do to me"? Tell her your getting a bit lonely...
Yes..just tell her palmela handerson doesnt want to fool around no more...
Sorry just figured a joke might help lift your spirits...I know how frustrating it can get when you have no idea whot is going on with someone sexually.
well all i have to say to this is that i know what your talking about. I was the same way with my gf and still probably am a little. See we have this kind of odd pattern that if i do something to her then it seems right after i stop she starts doing the same thing to me. For example she would always be there to give me head almost every time we got together on the weekends and then theres me that didnt really like her taste and was a little to immature at the time to really just suck it up and say its for her. but now unfortunatly now that ive started to really get into her taste and get all in there, she has stopped suckin me completly..........but at least i know why. She has this thing where she wants to be sick every time she thinks about the idea of cumming. she thinks its very sickening and i respect that so in turn i use that as a way to say if you wont give me head then let me **** you. so thats worked out ok there then the fact that i totaly blew it this past weekend when i didnt think to bring the tiny amount of lube i had left but brought condoms to the sleepover we had without parents around. altho because she got upset i want thinking " can i help with that lube" and go down on her i just concentrated on trying to make her feel better by another way..... yep didnt work as well as the first plan haha. but anyways you know we have been through 3 years of dateing and been through a break up and then some really tough emotional times and i still love her for her, not because i want sex all the time. i can see how she is frustrating you but you have to grow some balls and really sit her down and talk to her but start off by saying that you not mad and your not trying to offend her instead of hey you suck i want this this and this. thats what she will think if you start off like that. And while your doing that she has to realize that your a guy and your sexdrive is probably at its peak right about now and its hard to just " do it yourself " all the time. She needs to realize you need to be satisfied not just her and you need to talk to her in a better way and maybe a little more often to get the point across. hope that helps a bit. lol long but its what ive had im my life and its what i want to pass to you
I think an email is a good idea.
She probably won't be as defensive as she has been in the past if it's in writing.
Be very sweet to her in the email, obviously. Don't make it too long, but long enough to make your point. Brevity is the soul of wit, but not precision. Get a good balance.
Quite often problems in bed are rooted in an emotional problem or something in the relationship.
Good luck.
1. mis-matched sex drives
2. she has inhibitions even after 1.4 years
3. inability to discuss issues without becoming emotional/defensive
Sex may not be everything but when there's a problem with sex - sex BECOMES everything. Problems have a way of just taking over your life so YES, of course, you're thinking about it constantly.
But the REAL issue is not sex - it is you not getting what you need even after previous discussion. She is simply not "getting it" - so perhaps a demonstration is in order. Give her exactly what she gives you. Do a "wham bam, thank you ma'am" then ignore her and afterwards, the next day, ask her if she liked it better that way. When she says No, then ask her why she thinks you should enjoy that kind of selfish sex since that 's what she gives you.
Should be enough to get something effective started.
Wow. Brillaint advice from all of you.
Thank you all. You listed some valid points. The hardest thing will to be not let my emotions & frustrations get in the way.
I will take all of your points on board & I will have a chat with her about it.
I will post back & let you know how it went.
Im thinking of writing her a letter & letting her read it in front of me so we can then try to talk about it.
Thanks guys.
My advice to you, then, is don't, if she becomes upset, try to comfort her.
I always do this with my girl friend. When I'm upset about something and I try to talk about it, she gets upset and I end up comforting her, when I was the one originally miffed. After a few minutes I'm always whispering "well, ****" to myself.
Don't let that happen - it's better to stick to your guns in these types of conversations.
[QUOTE=Ephemera;196293]My advice to you, then, is don't, if she becomes upset, try to comfort her.
I always do this with my girl friend. When I'm upset about something and I try to talk about it, she gets upset and I end up comforting her, when I was the one originally miffed. After a few minutes I'm always whispering "well, ****" to myself.
Don't let that happen - it's better to stick to your guns in these types of conversations.[/QUOTE]
Yeah I'm very aware of that situation. I've experienced that many times before.
Thanks.
dump her.... lol move on find someone thts exciting! NEXXXXXXXXTT!!!!!
lol orr......or do wht she does with u... dont bother with foreplay.. or her coming and wen she'll get the msg!!!
ohh im so harsh!
[QUOTE=princessss;196325]dump her.... lol move on find someone thts exciting! NEXXXXXXXXTT!!!!!
lol orr......or do wht she does with u... dont bother with foreplay.. or her coming and wen she'll get the msg!!!
ohh im so harsh![/QUOTE]
Actually you just said what everyone else did.
Oh and btw before you post, look in the upper right corner of the message box. The icon that has a checkmark with an ABC above it....click it....its called spell check.
If i dont come onto her & do stuff to her then i wont get any sex. Guess i better prepare myself for a few weeks without.
Sometimes when she's drunk she tells me she wants sex when we get home. Usually it's me doing stuff to her again, then sex. But next time i knows she wants it i'll leave it to her to make me horny & stuff.
[quote=Sirene;196373]If i dont come onto her & do stuff to her then i wont get any sex. Guess i better prepare myself for a few weeks without.
Sometimes when she's drunk she tells me she wants sex when we get home. Usually it's me doing stuff to her again, then sex. But next time i knows she wants it i'll leave it to her to make me horny & stuff.[/quote]Get her supper horny [do not give full oral...just tease with fingers....oral just a few tiny licks]then ask so what are you going to do here (as a tease joking way)...tell her I feel forgot [my body/dick/etc...insert the proper words] ! Do this when she has a drink in her.....
When she drinks, she drinks a lot & she gets wasted. She'd probably just fall asleep like she usually does.
Sometimes we get in from a night out, she tells me all night that im gonna get some hot sex... then when we get home she jumps on the couch naked & starts playing with herself to make me horny. When i jump on & start riding away she decides half way through that its time to order a curry & she just forgets about sex.
Obviously im extremely frustrated by this point & she doesnt even get it that id like to be finished off. She just carries on ordering curry then ****s off to bed.
So inconsiderate.
[QUOTE=Sirene;196390]Sometimes we get in from a night out, she tells me all night that im gonna get some hot sex... then when we get home she jumps on the couch naked & starts playing with herself to make me horny. When i jump on & start riding away she decides half way through that its time to order a curry & she just forgets about sex.
Obviously im extremely frustrated by this point & she doesnt even get it that id like to be finished off. She just carries on ordering curry then ****s off to bed.
So inconsiderate.[/QUOTE]
That's just awful to tease someone like that!!! :mad:
I mean myself and my b/f have mismatched sex drives for sure!.... but I don't tease him and then cut him off midway.
I always figure out a way for him to finish.
Maybe she's extreme ADD lol.
[quote=demonbuttercup;196392]That's just awful to tease someone like that!!! :mad:
I mean myself and my b/f have mismatched sex drives for sure!.... but I don't tease him and then cut him off midway.
I always figure out a way for him to finish.
Maybe she's extreme ADD lol.[/quote]She is doing it for a reason; she knows she can get away with it & his feeling are not important. Know how many times I did a BJ for an hour or so???? Definitely did not feel like it; due to a heavy period. BUT his feelings/needs have to be considered, not just mine.
Maybe she's not enjoying sex as much as you think she is? I mean to be able to stop halfway through and go order take out, that says to me that she's sitting there the whole time with her head in the clouds or looking at her watch.
[QUOTE=katiebug;196396]Maybe she's not enjoying sex as much as you think she is? I mean to be able to stop halfway through and go order take out, that says to me that she's sitting there the whole time with her head in the clouds or looking at her watch.[/QUOTE]
I know for sure that I'm pleasing her... sober.
But when she's drunk she just gets super horny & wants some cock, but after 5mins she gets bored. You know what it's like having sex when drunk... you can't really feel anything.
I have no problem with her stopping sex if she isn't getting anything from it, but i want to be finished off at least.
She doesn't really value sex much, she can go without no problems. Therefore she thinks I'm the same, even though i told her i'm not like that... she doesn't really take any notice.
She says to me "Well what do you want me to do when I'm not in the mood? Force myself when i don't really want it?".
I don't want her to force it, I just want her to be considerate of my needs.
I've told her before that I'm willing to do what ever it takes to make her cum & i'll stop at nothing until she does. She hasn't offered the same though.
I just need to make her understand that she cannot just leave me high & dry like that.
One time we were doing it on the couch (very drunk) & she got bored & stopped it, I was left to go upstairs to finish myself off.
I get mad with her about it yes, but when I'm angry she makes me look like the nasty one, for getting angry for her not having sex with me. It's not about getting angry for lack of sex, it's about getting angry cos im frustrated & annoyed that she cant even be bothered to finish what she started.
I'm not going to tell her this weekend, see how it goes, see if we actually have sex... if we do i'll try get her to do things with me (even though i feel guilty for asking), if she doesn't do anything with me then I'll write that email/letter for her.
See how it goes.
When i mess around with her sometimes, like pulling up her top in bed & asking for a quick peek lol, i'd tell her i was horny (she could tell anyway by the way i act when im horny) & she'll say "you're always horny", to which i tell her I'm not. She then says she's not in the mood. I feel like im married & i feel insulted. It's a real kick in the balls, i just feel upset for some reason.
The quality of sex is not an issue for her, i know that. We're open about how i satisfy her, but not open about how she satisfies me.
It wouldnt be so bad if she told me she didnt like how i did something with her, like i was bad with something in bed... but she always goes on about how great i am. I'm not blowing my own trumpet or anything, but I've had nothing but compliments in the past for my bed skills. Which tells me there isn't a problem with the quality.
I dont understand how something that feels so good, that makes her tingle after sex, that makes her endorphins run crazy, can be just a throw away thing that you're not bothered about.
She's an odd girl, a very odd girl.
If you've been with her for a long time and have tried talking to her about this in the past and nothing has changed, I am sorry to say that I am not sure things will ever change. My reason for my previous post, saying maybe she wasn't enjoying it, was that all of these behaviors you describe are things that I did in the past with previous BF's. The truth? I was faking everything, the whole time, because I didn't know how to truly enjoy sex. I watched porns privately and that's how I learned my acting techniques. But would I tell the guy that? No way. I was stupid and immature then, didn't know how to talk about sex, didn't know what I wanted or needed in order to get a real orgasm, didn't know what I was doing when it came to pleasing him yet I felt like I needed to be "good" in bed for him to continue to be with me. So I would pretend that sex was amazing and great and give him so many compliments but really I'd just not even want to get into a sexual situation in the first place, because I didn't know what I was doing and I wasn't truly enjoying it as much as he thought I was. I had a very take-it-or-leave-it attitude about sex then. Maybe your GF is not like that all, but I can tell you that's how I was when I was young and inexperienced and immature. The more that he asked me for sex, the more nervous and inhibited I became because I felt like I was failing him. I really wasn't ready for a fully sexual relationship then. It also didn't help that he was never affectionate with me unless he expected sex. I would have felt more comfortable I think if he had spent more time giving me non-sexual affection.
Even if what I wrote has nothing to do with your GF's feelings about sex, the truth is that if she hasn't changed yet, she probably isn't going to change anytime soon. You can try being patient and writing her letters to express yourself better. Maybe a miracle will happen and she will see the light. But I personally think that it is going to take time for her to grow up and realize that what she's doing now isn't going to keep any guys interest for very long. I think you are going to have to end up deciding whether you can just give up on your quest to be pleased sexually or whether this is something that is just going to make you and your GF completely incompatible.
[QUOTE=katiebug;196404]If you've been with her for a long time and have tried talking to her about this in the past and nothing has changed, I am sorry to say that I am not sure things will ever change. My reason for my previous post, saying maybe she wasn't enjoying it, was that all of these behaviors you describe are things that I did in the past with previous BF's. The truth? I was faking everything, the whole time, because I didn't know how to truly enjoy sex. I watched porns privately and that's how I learned my acting techniques. But would I tell the guy that? No way. I was stupid and immature then, didn't know how to talk about sex, didn't know what I wanted or needed in order to get a real orgasm, didn't know what I was doing when it came to pleasing him yet I felt like I needed to be "good" in bed for him to continue to be with me. So I would pretend that sex was amazing and great and give him so many compliments but really I'd just not even want to get into a sexual situation in the first place, because I didn't know what I was doing and I wasn't truly enjoying it as much as he thought I was. I had a very take-it-or-leave-it attitude about sex then. Maybe your GF is not like that all, but I can tell you that's how I was when I was young and inexperienced and immature. The more that he asked me for sex, the more nervous and inhibited I became because I felt like I was failing him. I really wasn't ready for a fully sexual relationship then. It also didn't help that he was never affectionate with me unless he expected sex. I would have felt more comfortable I think if he had spent more time giving me non-sexual affection.
Even if what I wrote has nothing to do with your GF's feelings about sex, the truth is that if she hasn't changed yet, she probably isn't going to change anytime soon. You can try being patient and writing her letters to express yourself better. Maybe a miracle will happen and she will see the light. But I personally think that it is going to take time for her to grow up and realize that what she's doing now isn't going to keep any guys interest for very long. I think you are going to have to end up deciding whether you can just give up on your quest to be pleased sexually or whether this is something that is just going to make you and your GF completely incompatible.[/QUOTE]
Thanks for that. You've brought up some valid points. I will print out the valid bits, about what you used to be like & I will ask her if she feels any similarity.
She's promised me before she's never faked, & i told her that if she did fake then there's a problem with what im doing & i need to be told so i can satisfy her.
Thanks again.
[quote=Sirene;196400]She then says she's not in the mood. I feel like im married & i feel insulted. It's a real kick in the balls, i just feel upset for some reason. [/quote] Hence, the reason about sex being imperative. When good it's 10% of the relationship, when bad it's 90% of the relationship b/c ultimately one begins feeling isolated and eventually both withdraw; subsequently, the relationship falters. Married sex is awesome...you should feel insulted by her behavior; however, realize she is just being hurtful for some reason. Get to the root.
Sirene - it is time to MOVE ON!
Yeah, I know you hate it - but really which do you hate more; that kick in the balls she just gave you or getting out there and finding a woman who enjoys you and sex?
I can't dump someone because of sex, that would make me an ass hole.
Besides, I love her. I cant ever imagine finding a girl with such a strong personality.
She's the only girl I've never got bored of. Usually it takes me 6 months & im really bored. Not with this girl. I cant just throw that away.
One day i might crack & just do it, but until then im willing to fight & to try to make us better.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;196446]Sirene - it is time to MOVE ON!
Yeah, I know you hate it - but really which do you hate more; that kick in the balls she just gave you or getting out there and finding a woman who enjoys you and sex?[/QUOTE]
I give you credit sirene...I mean to stay in there is tough...Im sorta dealing with this as well...no sex, fooling around, even make outs...and let me tell you two weeks is hell. I dont know how long its been going on, but stay strong.
Yeah, 2 weeks is hell. I've had 5 weeks of it before. 5 whole weeks of no sex, no fooling around. I've even been 11 weeks without deep passionate kissing. These phases seem to happen, then all of a sudden we have a sex weekend, then another few weeks without.
This has been going on for about 8 months or something.
Good luck to you & i hope you make it out of the other end lol.
Then quit your bitching, Sirene. You have made your choice. On again, off again affection, toeing her line, and her being selfish keeps you from getting "bored". What does that tell you about yourself? Wuss or *******? Wuss ro *******? Tough choice, dude! Oh, yeah but your love her because she doesn't bore you.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;196482]Then quit your bitching, Sirene. You have made your choice. On again, off again affection, toeing her line, and her being selfish keeps you from getting "bored". What does that tell you about yourself? Wuss or *******? Wuss ro *******? Tough choice, dude! Oh, yeah but your love her because she doesn't bore you.[/QUOTE]
Did i say i love her because she doesnt bore me? No, i certainly did not.
I'm not a wuss, I'm just not the type to go around umping people because times are hard, like you do. I'm no wuss, I just know i want her & i want everything to be good.
I've made the choice about who i want to be with. I want to be with her & ill work at it until things get good.
I'm in the process of writing her a letter. So far it's 2176 words long! lol. I have a lot to say.
After the weekend when she reads it (if i give it to her then) I will post back here to tell what happened & if there's a solution to the problem.
I dont know wether or not i should post the actual letter on here.
I might do after the weekend if anyone is interested.
If you really are actually interested or want to give me some feedback on it, youcan send me a PM & i'll send it that way.
I haven't dumped anyone actually. Up here in the big leagues, we just kiss and keep in contact even if we do not do anything more with each other. Often I see them at the various parties and we chat. We're all friends.
Yes you did say exactly that, Sirene:
"I can't dump someone because of sex, that would make me an ass hole.
Besides, I love her. I cant ever imagine finding a girl with such a strong personality.She's the only girl I've never got bored of. Usually it takes me 6 months & im really bored. Not with this girl. I cant just throw that away."
You sound just like the women who put up with nonsense "because I wuv him" and there's the whole tired "sex isn't everything" when you know that is becomes everything if it is bad. You have read it in here too so stop hiding.
Stop acting as if your 1.4 yrs dating equals my 29 yrs of marriage - it doesn't.
You're just taking things i've written in your own way.
I still did not say I love her because she doesnt bore me. I was just listing a very short description of why I wouldnt dump her, not why i love her.
Im not pretending anything, quit being so defensive!
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;196506]I haven't dumped anyone actually. Up here in the big leagues, we just kiss and keep in contact even if we do not do anything more with each other. Often I see them at the various parties and we chat. We're all friends.
Yes you did say exactly that, Sirene:
"I can't dump someone because of sex, that would make me an ass hole.
Besides, I love her. I cant ever imagine finding a girl with such a strong personality.She's the only girl I've never got bored of. Usually it takes me 6 months & im really bored. Not with this girl. I cant just throw that away."
You sound just like the women who put up with nonsense "because I wuv him" and there's the whole tired "sex isn't everything" when you know that is becomes everything if it is bad. You have read it in here too so stop hiding.
Stop acting as if your 1.4 yrs dating equals my 29 yrs of marriage - it doesn't.[/QUOTE]
Sirene, do you even read the things you say?
Lol...I couldnt break up with my girlfriend over sex....Id feel like an ***hole too. IDK EEK...I mean there are some people who can actually live without sex...you should meet my girlfriend lol. Plus my sex drive fluctuates depending if I can actually fool around. When I know that I can and its ok....easily at 100%...and thats if you combine the drive of three men lol. But when I cant I dont even care. So I guess thats really why I cant break up over sex...or lack of
It's the issue of repetitive rejection which erodes the emotional bond.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;196561]Sirene, do you even read the things you say?[/QUOTE]
Yup, do you?
Always. But unlike you, I can deal with the nuances - but then, you're male. The nuances of language tend to be out of your ken.
By your own admission:
she has a strong personality, she is selfish in bed, she does not bore you - that last one being the kicker.
so you're a pain in the ass and she has decided that making you toe her line is the best way to keep you interested - which is a very old game
It is working; you are interested but you're also in here complaining about it.
If you drop her because of the poor quality sex you're an ******* (so YOU say) but if you stay and endure it you're a wuss. (as wusses will) But if you can effect a change in her behavior - maybe you'll stay and not be a wuss? Perhaps she thinks if she backs off and reciprocates you will have your conquest and then you'll lose interest and move on? It is a point. But it is amusing to see the big and bad Sirene dancing at the end of her leash.
Im not on a leashe. She isnt doing it concsiously. As i've said a long time ago she has certain attitudes towards sex, she's a bit conservative sexually, & im very very liberal.
Im just trying to get her to drop her misconceptions about sex & to just chill out. She just needs reminding what a healthy sexual relationship is.
I know that she isnt thinking to herself "If i keep my sexual distance he wont get bored of me". It doesnt work like that with her. She's not savvy in that area.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;196603]Always. But unlike you, I can deal with the nuances - but then, you're male. The nuances of language tend to be out of your ken.
By your own admission:
she has a strong personality, she is selfish in bed, she does not bore you - that last one being the kicker.
so you're a pain in the ass and she has decided that making you toe her line is the best way to keep you interested - which is a very old game
It is working; you are interested but you're also in here complaining about it.
If you drop her because of the poor quality sex you're an ******* (so YOU say) but if you stay and endure it you're a wuss. (as wusses will) But if you can effect a change in her behavior - maybe you'll stay and not be a wuss? Perhaps she thinks if she backs off and reciprocates you will have your conquest and then you'll lose interest and move on? It is a point. But it is amusing to see the big and bad Sirene dancing at the end of her leash.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Sirene;196623]Im not on a leashe. She isnt doing it concsiously. As i've said a long time ago she has certain attitudes towards sex, she's a bit conservative sexually, & im very very liberal.
Im just trying to get her to drop her misconceptions about sex & to just chill out. She just needs reminding what a healthy sexual relationship is.
I know that she isnt thinking to herself "If i keep my sexual distance he wont get bored of me". It doesnt work like that with her. She's not savvy in that area.[/QUOTE]
Or she is more sly than you think...girls are very very very....cunning.
[QUOTE=Ducy;196328]Actually you just said what everyone else did.
Oh and btw before you post, look in the upper right corner of the message box. The icon that has a checkmark with an ABC above it....click it....its called spell check.[/QUOTE]
didnt realise this was an english exam.......... tut my bad!
Hey...Im just saying what alot of other people think. Ive been reamed for poor spelling and grammar...even for im style
nthing against u. jus kinda gets hrd wen u hav 2 decifer a msg.
well i dnt really care so much... i dnt exactly write in a very difficult lingo and i can spell, i dnt need a spell checker to comment on some forum.. if i write "u" instead of a "You" im sure hardly very little people are gonna mind....
thnk u!
I think people should read the posting guidelines. Proper grammar is helpful for all reader to address issues at hand. A few [of us] here are part of the "digital divide". The forum encourages proper grammar.
So SHE has to change to suit YOU? Hardly seems fair. Why don't YOU become conservative to make HER happy? The consensus is instead of doing either, just go and find someone who is already as sexually as "liberal" as you are and leave the woman in peace.
Sadly EEK is right, it's never right to MAKE someone change, advise or suggestions are your only option. If she doesn't budge it's who she is and it's never right to change a person to make yourself happy.
Sirene,
Here I am, feeling like I am eavesdropping on this post, because I only started coming here last night. Ha, you have a reputation here. ;)
Women open up with certain keys. I think most of us are the same in some respects and we are different in others. Because I have so many years of experience getting to know myself and my friend-girls sexually (I am no spring chicken), it might behoove you to listen to what I have to say.
ALL OF US, dancers at the strip club, grandmas, the preacher's wife, etc., open up to being cherished, appreciated, adored, sweet-erotic talked, and made to feel like we are the most special, incredible, sexy woman in the world. As a man, it is your job to make us feel this way and also figure out what trips our trigger. It is not always an easy task because many of us were taught to hide our true desires from ourselves and cloak them in fear and embarrassment.
Most of us are responsive to your delight, like you are to ours. You, verbally and physically responding positively to our actions, is a huge turn on. Your task is to put her on her kneesfor you, and in my experience, only a highly skilled male can do this, one who has devoted his sexual life to unfolding the secrets of women and who devote themselves completely to what I would refer to as the art of love.
What a huge task!! The rewards though are oh, so great!! :)
When a man does this, it is IMPOSSIBLE to hold on to our panties or anything else.....other than you! Honto. (Native American for Truth.)
Hope I have not sounded too harsh.
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