Take her out for dinner or to the cinema.

If she's up for it she will make it obvious while your out.

Like many people say, sex doesn't start in the bedroom!

Good luck :)

So wait, she never initiates sex or shows an interest without you showing an interest? If that is the case, an even medium seems impossible.

I remember you said in another thread that she is hampered by the sexual values she had growing up? Sounds like it's not her libido that's the problem, it's her ethical dilemma. She's gotta work this one out before she'll be ready to play.

I went through a similar thing myself--as far as I can tell, questioning my morality was the only cause of a lowered libido I've ever had (um if that sentence made any grammatical sense...). Chances are, once she is sure of what she thinks is right and wrong, she won't have a problem enjoying and initiating things within the "right" category.

I don't think you should need to be worrying about this so much. Just because you want to have sex with her doesn't have to mean that's all you can think about. At 21, of course you're going to have a high sex drive. Wanting to have sex with your girlfriend is perfectly normal, and she should understand that. She should also want to have sex with you.

If this is a moral dilemma for her, then this is a little more complicated. Many people, especially girls, have difficulty totally letting go when they're families gave them the idea that sex was "dirty" or a sin.

I'm not sure how long you've been having sex, but after more than 5 months together, she should be pretty comfortable with you. She needs to understand that you aren't just into her because of sex - that you like her and care about her and that sex is just another fun thing you can do together to strengthen and enliven your relationship.

I think the best thing to do is to talk to her about sex. If you can communicate about sex, her desires, her feelings, and her fears, you'll start to make some progress. You could tell her something like, "Sometimes I don't feel like you want me because I'm always initiating sex. What can I do to change that? It's fine if we don't have sex every time we see each other, but I really enjoy sex as something we do together, and I want you to enjoy it, too. Is there anything I can do to get you more excited about sex?"

Of course, it is important to do stuff outside of sex in a relationship. Go to a movie, take her out to dinner, hang out and watch TV - whatever. You need to be friends before you can really communicate about sex well. But I think if you do communicate and figure out what the problem is, things will be a lot easier than if you just try to guess at what she wants you to do. You can't be a mind reader, and you shouldn't have to be.

Good luck!

Try this. Don't spend any money on her at all. Go for walks. Stay in and talk. Do not mention sex. Do not ay anything about 'you future with her'. When she arrives say she looks good and just give her a quick peck on the cheek. Play cards. Read out loud to her. Watch a movie on the tv with popcorn. Play video games. Do you best to bore her to tears! If she asks say you'e just doing the 'relationship' stuff with her and isn't this just FUN? If she sleeps over, she sleeps on the couch. Do not mention anything about sex. You won't have to. She'll get the message. You have kowtowed to her long enough, guy. Either she steps up or she is gone. Her choice! Her decision.

If she has serious ethical issues, she would not be coming to see you.
If she wants you as her lover - she will let you know.
You have been too easy and undemanding on her.
But your sucking up to her has got to stop.