hi there..... Im new to sexual intercorse lately. but not the whole thing... my girlfriend would rather me penetrate her w/o a condom, and withdraw before ejaculation instead of using a condom..... she says it hurts, but the condoms i have are lubricated..... and she also says they take away from the feeling..... i respect her opinion but we both really want to have intercorse but id feel safer with a condom.....but when i mention them it ruins the mood..... help plz!!!!! 
Thu, 05/27/2004 - 23:31
#1
My GF does not like condoms????
Sorry To Sound like a Bitch< really I am sorry.
It sounds like maybe your gf, wants a c hild? LOL cause it dont seem as if she gives a shit.. about no one but her self, doesnt realise how much work a baby would be AND if you want to use condoms.. and she dont.. its gotta make you wonder why? if you use lube.. and stuff, its fine.. but dont get me wrong.. i know it feels better with out.. but.. the chances of a baby at HER age, let alone yours.. Yea.. kinda stupid to just be like "yahhh No Thanks, no condoms for me" and for her to put a guilt trip on you is baby like. and stupid. cause your looking out for the interest of both of you, and being with you for 3 and 1/2 years... she should know that by now?
As for the pill thing, lol get her to get the shot that way you know... because like someone said she might not take it just inspite of you, which again.. VERY Childish and STUPID... well then again it isnt really even childish, children im sure would know better than that.. its just down right stupid.. unless you want a baby.
Jamie-- again.. sorry for sounding liek a bitch, but good god.
duckie makes a good point
she might not take the whole pill thing seriously since you already said she might do something just to be spiteful.
if you don't take pills exactly like they are supposed to be then they are pretty much worthless.
ditto on sticking to your guns
YOu been given a lot of great advice all ready. I'd like to same congrats for sticking to your guns on this one. Most 19 year olds wouldn't, and that shows a lot of maturity on your part.
Just a little something to think about. If she did go on the pill, do you trust that she'll faithfully take it everyday? I mean that if your option is her going on the pill so you don't have to wear a condom, you had better hope that she is religiously taking it. At least when wearing a condom you both know that it's on.
I'm not saying that there are better odds either way, because yes condoms can break, but, it's knowing that there is some form of birth control being used.
There are a lot of great lubes on the market just make sure that they can be used with condoms.
I wish you luck.
I'm sure I'm not alone on this, but, we're proud of your stance on this.
its weird tho... but im used to it by now... shes 3 yrs younger then me... everyone like expects it from us..... but its such an issue apparently... so.....
no i mean its good that you waited till she was 16 and wasn't going thru all this when she was 13.
but like you said, its not worth it if its going to be such an issue.
maybe she is just trying to see if she can get her way, although she picked the wrong topic to test that out on lol.
i mean this topic isn't something you should be stubborn about.
Try not to fight about it tho...I mean if she does and something goes bad because of it, then she wasnt worth it
were not really yelling or anything.... just going back and forth....
not worth it...
i really give up on intercorse
also is it bad for me to sortof... but not really..... expect a little more sexually...... after being w/ her for almost 3 1/2 yrs?
no its not.
sex is good and all but if it comes w/ this many headaches its not.
using protection shouldn't even be an issue when you have sex w/ someone. it should just be a given, unless you are trying to have a baby.
yeah its good that you are tho.
like i said, you don't want to be a father just yet.
relationships are all about compromise.
if she says no to condoms then she has to do her part to compromise and get on the pill.
meanwhile, she shouldn't make you feel guilty for it. no matter what don't feel guilty or think you are the bad guy.
dont worry.. we're having an arguement over it.... how she says she'll always give in when she doesnt want to.... but how i know shes lying and everything....
?? hehe
intercorse isnt worth this much trouble is it......?
That is even worse... Getting pregnant and then putting the child up for adoption
At least you are trying to compromise and just like Demonbuttercup said : You are acting like the adult.
There are countless of other things then the abortion btw..Morning after pill, etc
hahahahhaha.... ive been talking with her via aol for the past hour or so and i just said 'sorry for being responsible', and she just said 'responsible would be containing yourself'......
hahahaha... have to love it.
i hate acting adult-like.
we did it 1 time w/ a condom.... for about 5 seconds, where she just laid there and basically pouted.... and maybe 5 or 6 times where i would penetrate her for about half a minute then exit....
well no she never said that she said if she did get pregnant she would do that and just put the baby up for adoption..... she is so anti-abortion it's sickening
..... but i think she said she'd try it again and try to get used to it.....
see i lost a bet when we were trying to decide if a person we saw was a female or male.... and i lost so the conditions were i had to buy condoms so i bought like 10 dollars worth because i thought she would want to use them since she sounded like it.... but we used it once....
OMG
she really said that??
thats just craziness.
i would never put my body thru that plus the emotional aspect of it. just b/c i couldn't get used to sex w/ a condom. how many times have you guys actually done it w/ one?
i mean it might take some getting used to.. but it will happen.
she should visit planned parenthood they are good about helping teens w/ sex issues and BC..etc.
thats where i found those other facts i posted.
thx.... its nice to have someone to talk to....
now shes saying shell go but shes putting me on a guilt trip still... but shes denying that...
sad thing is that she is usually the adult of the relationship.... but on something like this she said right to my face that shed rather go thru with the baby and put it up for adoption rather than taking an extra step or two to make sure....
it really hurts knowing your partner would rather rub it in your face then feel a little unnatural
i finally told her no condom no intercorse.... but it was a little blame-trip she took and told me id want more.... so i said until she stops being a child well just stop doing anything sexually.... and she goes around to tell me its my fault for wanting to be physically close to her...... o well
hopefully shell grow up about this tho......
stay strong hoojies
apparently you are the adult in the relationship so you have to take control and keep everyone safe.
yes it is weird and uncomfortable going to the DR. especially that first time. but i had a real nice DR and she explained everything to me.
its just part of life and part of being sexually active. you have to do something you might not want to do.
i mean if she thinks its weird to ask for pills what about when she had to tell the DR and her parents she's prego. then its none stop trips to the DR and you are all spread out on the delivery table for everyone to see... something to think about.
like i said, don't let her tease you and make you feel like the bad guy. you are totally being responsible. im glad you are.. someone has to be.
yes she is very romantic like that...
she doesnt want to go to the doctor because she says its weird... and she says hes a pediatrician so she said shed just be refered....
exactly littefury
if she isn't going to take the responsibility of being safe then she shouldn't be having sex.
like i posted somewhere else. being close during sex is about the emotions and feelings. a microthin piece of rubber between you isn't going to make it any less special.
its not like she jumps on me and starts everything.... we mutually want to have intercorse and she is willing to use condom but the one time i got her to try it she just laid there like she didnt want to do it..... that hurt the most
thanks for your input, ppls!!!
Yeah, I was in this position first too. My g/f would want me to just withdraw it before i came but I convinced her to use the pill this summer.
She can just go to her dr and ask for it. Alot of girls have sex around that age so it isn't really weird for her to ask her dr for the pill.
You could also go with her to the dr. Maybe she will feel better about it that way.
Sorry she hurted you like that
She really wants to be close to you, i guess
Well, try different ones. SHe might find the one that she will like. And I do hope she grows out of this.
[QUOTE=Quote (hoojies @ May 27 2004,16:59)]its not like she jumps on me and starts everything.... we mutually want to have intercorse and she is willing to use condom but the one time i got her to try it she just laid there like she didnt want to do it..... that hurt the most
thanks for your input, ppls!!![/QUOTE]
see thats just childish
its like she just laid there and pouted b/c she didn't get her way and in the process hurt your feelings.
like the others said if you buy a thin condom and use lots of lube there is no reason it should hurt.
now if she's allergic to latex thats a whole other story.
anomynous is right, she shouldn't be embarrassed to go to the doctor. besides, once a girl becomes sexually active she should go to her DR for her first exam.
go w/ her so she doesn't have to be alone.
here's some facts she should know
[QUOTE=Quote ]Eighty-five percent of women who use no contraceptives during vaginal intercourse become pregnant each year.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Quote ]HOW WELL WITHDRAWAL WORKS
Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 27 will become pregnant during the first year of typical use. Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, four will become pregnant during the first year of perfect use.
Pre-ejaculate can contain enough sperm to cause pregnancy. Pregnancy is also possible if semen or pre-ejaculate is spilled on the vulva.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Quote ]POSSIBLE DISADVANTAGES OF WITHDRAWAL
requires great self-control, experience, and trust
not for men who ejaculate prematurely
not for men who don’t know when to pull out
not recommended for sexually inexperienced men
not recommended for teens
[/QUOTE]
Hey, better to ruin the mood then the future. She's gotta understand, even at 16, this is not a game. And if she can't be responsible enough then it comes to it, she shouldn't be doing it. Hopefully you'll talk some sense into her.
what does she want you do to?
its not like you can just go to the store and buy some BC pills. she has to go to the DR.
oberon is right... being pregnant would be waaay more uncomfortable.
i mean what is she thinking??
not using any type of protection is just stupid.
let her know that you don't want to be a father just yet and you'd feel more comfortable if you guys used SOMETHING.
good luck
You could try adding a bit of lube to the condom. If that doesn't work, you will have to lay down a law regarding that. No condom, no intercourse, cause people who just do the pull out method usually are called parents. It is highly unreliable. Adn she should go on BC, definatly. Better be safer then sorry. Especially at your guys age.
that is exactly how she feels!!! i feel the same way too.... dont get me wrong... and ive talked to her before countless times.... she just says she hates them... and it ruins the 'mood' if i mention them....
also weve been together for almost 3 1/2 yrs and we are very very very involved in eachothers lives... and it really feels right after everything (i kno were young but.....)
we both can go without the intercorse but we really really really want to do it.... and her parents dont trust me because of my age.... so they think after 3 1/2 yrs we just kiss and hug still (hehehe)....
I think she probably just wants to feel closer to you.
Just try to talk to her about it that you feel safer with a condom
If she loves you she wouldn't care
i definetly respect you decision and don't let her try to force you into doing something you don't want too.
the "pull out" method isn't a very reliable method of BC. i doubt it could even be called a method.
if both of you have been tested for STDs and are clear then she should definetly consider some other form of BC like the pill or shot.
its just dumb not to have any type of precaution.
I TOTALLY agree with demonbuttercup. If she thinks condoms are uncomfortable, she should try being pregnant for nine months. I think she should be on birth control and you STILL should use a condom. Neither are 100% effective, but together with a spermicidal gel or foam, you cut down the risk to almost nothing. Plus, if something happens THEN, you've at least done everything you can to take precautions.
Stick to your guns. It's the smart thing to do.
she says she is afraid of getting a pill or anything.... she wants me to go...but it will look bad she is 3 yrs younger then me.... she is 16 i am almost 19(1 month yayyyyyyyy!!1) ... is there any thing i can do to have her not hate condoms???