hi im new to this site but need help so here goes.
im a 19 year old virgin and theres a 16 year old girl i like and she says she likes me. however she is very experienced having had several previous bfs. most of her previous sexual encounters have been with experienced males. she thinks i am experienced to i havnt told her i am but i havent told her im not. she says shes not ready for a relationship as shes just finished one and just wants casual sex. im ok with this but want to know if knowledge is enough. from this site i have learnt a lot but is that enough or will i not be good enough?
Tue, 10/10/2006 - 23:38
#1
my first time
First and foremost, you need to level with her and let her know that you don't have the experience that she does - be honest with her. If she's as experienced as you say she is, she'll be able to tell.
Learn as much as you can (from this site, my site, and any other place you can absorb information from). Don't worry about trying to remember it all, you can't. You will absorb enough to make it as interesting as possible. That's all you can do. It is not unlike driving a car - you can read every book written on the subject, but until you get behind the wheel and actually do some driving, you really aren't going to know what you're doing. The same thing is true with sex. If you do begin a sexual relationship with her, you'll get better as time goes on.
Be sure you use protection, including condoms if she hasn't been tested recently. You sure don't want to learn about STDs the hard way.
What do sex and Ballroom dancing have in common? As a mentor of the former and an instructor in the latter, the answers are:
* the fragile male ego
* both require partners
* there is a new "square one" with the formation of each new partnership
* the partnership is a team effort. With sex, it is not what we do to each other, rather, what we do with and for each other. There is a distinct difference. With both, a couple learns and explores and express themeslves individually and together.
The fragile male ego tells the guy, "I'm not going to do 'it' if I don't know what I'm doing, because I can't do it well, and so I'm not going to make a fool out of myself, etc., et cetera, etc.
With each new partnership there is a new starting point. Experience equates to knowledge, not skill. With each new partnership, we learn about each others, likes, dislikes, quirks, and then work as a team with and for each other. You gain new skill and possibly hone existing skills. That one or the other of you has no previous experience is not a big deal. Stuff happens whether you are experienced or not. Just laugh off anything that didn't quite go right and proceed on. Sex is serious business, yet you shouldn't take it all too seriously, either.
Women desire a knowledgeable, caring, compassionate lover. Penis size matter in that it need only be large enough for them to grasp because they consider a penis a combination brake and throttle over which they control their man's progress toward Nirvana. The rest comes from practicing together and devleoping a new set of dynamics unique to the partnership.
Do you really want to loose your viginity to casual sex? Dont you want to wait for a relationship? It fully up to you thou! And yeah if you dont tell her your a virgin she will know when you jump into the sack. Good luck!
dont get me wrong im not in this for casual sex i like this girl and want a relationship with her but she doesnt just yet i just want to be with her anyway i can. i just feel theres more pressure to perform in a casual relationship than a normal 1. if i was in a stable relationship then sex isnt everything and i cud tell her about my inexperience but in a casual relationship it seems harder
> i just feel theres more pressure to perform in a casual relationship than a normal 1.
Why would you "feel" there is a difference?
The truth is that they are both the same when it comes to putting your time and effort into it.**
> if i was in a stable relationship then sex isnt everything and i cud tell her about my inexperience but in a casual relationship it seems harder
Only because you think to make it harder.
Regardless of how this pairing may evolve, communication is the cornerstone of every successful relationship, whatever the form.
> > she says shes not ready for a relationship as shes just finished one and just wants casual sex.
What we seem to have here is an oxymoron; at the very minimum, friends with benefits in which case there is a relationship. Here's the rub:
In essence she's telling you she is willing to participate in you getting your jollies and rocks off. **That being the case, she also wants something and whatever that something is, you better give it your all, and that takes us back to the top of this post.
well i told her and she stopped speaking to me but i dont care it just shows how shallow she is thanks for ur advice everyone
[QUOTE=mormegil;154800]well i told her and she stopped speaking to me but i dont care it just shows how shallow she is thanks for ur advice everyone[/QUOTE]
lol.. there's your answer.. she is not the one... if u cant have a civilized conversation about any topic and have her stop talking 2 u she is obviously not the one and treats you like dirt.
I'm glad you decided to try and talk to her and now u have the answer and will probably feel much better knowing how she felt and well proved something to u.
Yep, she was obviously just wanting sex and nothing else at all, she wasn't even willing to be a guy for a change and help a virgin out even if sex IS all they want.. lol