So, after my brief 29 years here on this planet I finally found a man that I feel TOTALLY comfortable with and can tap into my sexual curiosities with & I gave into 'anal-play'. Quite unexpectedly...I really LIKED it. I enjoyed the feeling of being dominated and I wanted to play, too. Well, my boyfriend and I got to talking and after I assured him that his interest in said activities did not mean that he was secretly gay or that it made him less of a man, he agreed to letting me reciprocate. We shared several days of teasing and erotic e-mails/fantasy scenes getting him to the point where in the heat of a moment together, he begged me to use my fingers and plug on him. He had to stop me because it hurt....Long story short...we've tried a few times now and he can't seem to make himself relax AND, much to my surprise, stimulating his prostate (no matter how softly I do it and no matter how much lube I use)seems to hurt him more than anything. He expresses the fact that he really WANTS to like it and get pleasure from it...but he doesn't know why it's not mindblowing like everything we read says it should be. My concern is that since he's experiencing PAIN, he might have problems with his prostate? He's 35, and seems healthy in ever other way...so does anyone have any input or advice? Thanks in advance!
Sun, 05/27/2007 - 23:48
#1
My boyfriend experiences PAIN, not pleasure when I stimulate his prostate
No one knows his body better than him, get him to try using his own fingers himself when he is on his own sometime, play around and explore and see if it still hurts or whether it feels good. Then he can guide you in what to do much better.
Has he recently had a "full" physical to ensure he is not experiencing some inflammation of the prostate?
Some people, men and women, simply do not enjoy having anything shoved up there.
[QUOTE]He expresses the fact that he really WANTS to like it and get pleasure from it...but he doesn't know why it's not mindblowing like everything we read says it should be.[/QUOTE]
Brandye, as respected as you are on the site (and we know your opinion on anal) I do not believe your above comment is appropriate. Here we (seem to) have a couple, in love and open to exploration, that want to experience this free of pain in a consenting manner, I think that a more "medical" view with your knowledge would be more fitting then a personal opinion in this situation.
SORRY!! I do not mean to be agressive or condescending but i do believe that you have alot to offer this site and all of us on it and would personally like to see your medical/professional opinion on the above problem!
Instead of fingers, try a specially made anal probe - one that also vibrates. Then place it behind his testicles and gradually ease it back and up to his prostate - keep it moving (rotating it) until he orgasms. Then gently but quickly remove it and go wash it; giving him time to recover a bit before you ask him how he liked it.
But he made need a check-up to see if his prostate is imflamed as sera said.
Also make sure he is fully hydrated getting the recommended 50 fluid ounces of water per day (according to the University of South Carolina's most recent study on the topic).