Question is, what turns you on? You need to know what you like before he can understand what you like. (i.e. touching, talking, etc.....)

Generally, I watch body language to figure out what is turning my wife on when we go out or do things together and then I manipulate what I'm doing to turn her on more. Most of the time, I don't even have to touch her. It's what I say and how I say it that makes her turned on. Putting small thoughts in her head that makes her imagine where it can lead turns her on. But it took me sometime to learn the skill. Learn early in life and you'll be a master at it later on. I find that confidence is the biggest factor of it all.

Most importantly, your bf has to want to learn the skills of turning you on or it's not going to happen. I was listening to this podcast the other day talking about sex education and they spoke of how women will ask more questions when it comes to sex and how to's, whereas the men would not really say anything. Because of how it is expected of the man to already know what they are doing and they don't want to feel like a dummy asking questions when it comes to sex.

So I guess the best way to go about it is to educate him without making him seem like he doesn't know what he's doing. Make suggestions as to what you want. If he's touching or talking to you in a certain way that you like, tell him in a sexy way that you like it when he does it like that and see where it goes from there.

Hopefully, I answered your concern in your other thread.

If you have questions regarding what I talked about, please ask them in that thread.

-doc

I think foreplay is the best way to get turn on.
You should do foreplay before having sex.

Unless you are into sex on your own, and in your own right, there's little he or any man can do to 'turn you on'.

So my answer is: Don't be so difficult!

Just as it is not his job to give you an orgasm, so too it is not entirely his job to do all the work involved in getting you ready. He assists, he helps, he participates but he can't do it all on his own - you too have to assist, help and participate and do for him what he does for you.

Throw your inhibitions away and go for it.

[QUOTE=DarcyDenzil;258222]I think foreplay is the best way to get turn on.
You should do foreplay before having sex.[/QUOTE]

Yep more foreplay!

Massage each other, play with each other.... kiss and caress each other for at least 10 to 15 minutes

[quote=DarcyDenzil]
I think foreplay is the best way to get turn on.
You should do foreplay before having sex.[/quote]

[QUOTE=anonymust;258325][COLOR="blue">Yep more foreplay![/COLOR]

It is important to understand that "Foreplay" is but one part, one aspect, one phase, of what should be referred to as fooling around and making out. Years ago this was also referred to as going around the bases and making it to 1st., 2nd, etc. The other stages are, and begin with "Necking, then on to "Petting", "Heavy Petting", and ultimately "Foreplay".

I've stated several times that when someone writes in and complains about something not going as expected with "Foreplay", my question in reply is always where in the process do you experience the difficulty or problem.

Please DO NOT use "Foreplay" as the be all catch all term for the entire process. It is not; this is what "making out" is. It is the "umbrella" term for all of the other stages.

While a couple may have a question or concern about Foreplay, more often than not the problem can be traced to an earlier situation, and this is why it is so important to be able to identify which stage.

* Necking:
Kissing and caresses above the shoulders

* Petting:
All of the above and including kissing and caressing
the entire body with clothes on and excluding the
erogenous zones (breasts and genitals)

* Heavy Petting:
All of the above and including the (partial) removal
of clothing. This stage also include fondling the erogenous
zones thru clothing, and later, slipping fingers/hand inside
under garments

* Foreplay:
Oral and/or manual stimulation of the genitals, breasts,
and a person's entire body while most or completely undressed
[COLOR="blue">
Massage each other, play with each other.... kiss and caress each other for at least 10 to 15 minutes[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

This is a good start; however, many of us recommend no less than half an hour. Women are vastly different from men when it comes to having orgasms and becoming all reved up and aroused. While guys can be UP and ready in a matter of minutes, not so the fairer gender. Women require a prolonged make out session in order to build their level of arousal and excitement to the brink of an orgasm. It is important for guys to know this and realize that we too benefit from the time spent.

FOREPLAY: The Prequel and Sequel

If you learn nothing else, today, please learn all of this and use it to your best advantage--and hers.

-doc

yeah my bf has been having a hard time turning me on also, i think he just moves too fast though. What we've been doing is just going slower and not jumping right into things, a sensual massage has been working wonders to get me in the mood ;)

EDITED: Removed signature link. Mod. 3

Save me from reluctant females!

Please find, read and then do the sticky post entitled THE PROGRAM found elsewhere in this forum.

MEN: from now on - slow down to the point where either she jumps your bones or she's not getting any! Enough of this "make me want you" stuff as if her pudenda was made of gold.

Yes,you are so right EEK.I read the "program"and when i last had sex with my husband,i told him "i don't want you going straight for pay dirt",and he's like "what do you mean?"and i replied "you are not touching my vagina until you get me plenty aroused"So we kissed and touched each other above the waist.I didnlt want to touch his penis yet either,so every time he put my hand in his lap i pulled it away and when he did the same to me i lightly swatted his hand away and said "not yet",Then when i was ready i started stroking his groin area,and i let him reciprocate.That was the best sex he and i had ever had.Now he knows to go slow maybe next time it will be just as good,as long as he takes it nice and slow

[QUOTE=wat901;257356]me and my boyfriend are new to sex, and he seems to think that its easy to turn me on, but i find it a bit hard sometimes. He never fully turns me on, so i am never fully in the sex mood when he is. Anything he could do to turn me on more?[/QUOTE]
Foreplay sweetie start with intimate touching before you proceed to sex

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;260265]Save me from reluctant females!

Please find, read and then do the sticky post entitled THE PROGRAM found elsewhere in this forum.

MEN: from now on - slow down to the point where either she jumps your bones or she's not getting any! Enough of this "make me want you" stuff as if her pudenda was made of gold.[/QUOTE]

ROFLAMO, You are sooooooooo right! Never again will I become a slave to have sex. Besides women love the chase!

I am 18 years old and my bf finds ways to bring me to arousal by gently kissing the back of my neck. Josh just has a way with painting word pictures for me as well. My bf just has me take a hot bath with him and he plays relaxing music and lights candles with some funky incense. LOL
He sits behind me and bathes my back and neck....washes my hair and then massages my scalp gently. Wow! I asked him if another girl taught him this and he said his dad had a "Tantric" or "Trantic"...(sorry if the spelling is wrong)...yoga manual. Whatever...o.k. this helps us get into the mood and then he towel dries me all over and grooms my hair. OMG! For me this makes me so hot I am ready to "CUM" before he even enters me!

I say get a book of massage or the Tantic book manual. This has made all the difference in the world to us!

Best wishes!:)

Sounds fantastic,never had anyone do anything like that for me

It is called FOREPLAY and BODY WORSHIP, people

and it WORKS!

Body worship.. Yes... If you are new to sex, and didn't spend a lot of time diddling yourself you aren't going to know where and what feels good. Take the time to get nekkid and lay in your bed by yourself and explore your body with your hands and fingers. Pinch, massage, rub, and even lick your finger tips before playing with your nips or running your finger across your belly. Go from barely tracing your skin to using a firmer pressure. After you figure out what you like, you can show him. If you just keep your mouth shut and let him do 'his' thing, you're going to end up hating sex because it's not a good experience for you. You have to learn your body, and you have to let your partner know what feels good and what doesn't. That's all there is to it. =0)

I think some women bodies are made to be worshiped they way their butt is curved their nipple get erect&scream for your tongue they way their hair cascade over their breasts when they are on top

Yes i think that is why my husband doesn't want me to divorce him,he loves my body.Every thing:my breasts,my butt,my long hair,my moans & groans and especially my wet, wet pussy.I want to find someone else who will worship me.

Raunchy your husband is a lucky man to me a beautiful girl is a Goddess in her own right, when I am pleasing her I am worshiping her body her cum is my sacred wine ;-)

[SIZE="2">Get a extra light olive oil bottle take a shower then lay on the bed on your stomach wearing a blind fold have your man[COLOR="Navy">[/COLOR] massage you slowly without touching intimately at first your neck,shoulders,arms,thighs,calves,feet,hands, lower back. Then massage your butt tell him to take his time and when he's massaging your upper thighs to lightly brush your pussy lips, put 2 pillows under your stomach and spread your legs, have him take your pussy lip between his lips kissing it tasting it while spanking your ass cheeks lightly at first then trace with his tongue upward and lick your asshole squeeze your ass cheeks&spank him while he tongue fuck your ass, back down dip his tongue in your pussy then take your clit between his lips suck it nibble on it and squeeze it between his lips without letting up on squeezing&slapping your butt cheeks when u cum to turn you over. Lick under your breasts circling slowly to your nipple, flicker it with his tongue suck around it&nibble take your nipple between his lips lightly biting&sucking it. Move to the other one&does the same while kneading the first&pinching your nipple, kiss&lick his way bends your legs up slide inside you&do you hard. That's one way to worship a body
Hope this help

I find that forplay starts long before in the bedroom. In fact, I use the following method as a barometer to figure out what mood my wife is in.

I am always a gentleman to my wife. She is a lady and I treat her so. Some days when I am reved up and need to be intimate, I treat her like gold all day long. Besides the normal gentleman, I go out of my way to do little things for her. I can tell by her response to my actions if we are going to have fun later. If my actions are receptive, by the time the evening or alone time comes, she is attacking me. If I dont get good vibes, I know it isnt going to happen that night or day.

I love sex and pleasing my wife. If we both arent in to it at a particular time, why bother? Sex or making love is so much more intense, erotic, and pleasing if we are both in to it.

Goinsouth

[QUOTE=wat901;257356]me and my boyfriend are new to sex, and he seems to think that its easy to turn me on, but i find it a bit hard sometimes. He never fully turns me on, so i am never fully in the sex mood when he is. Anything he could do to turn me on more?[/QUOTE]

Your Chap needs to get down and eat you out, that will do the trick for ya, and get you ready for penetration.

Your boyfriend needs to worship your body,a nice sensual massage will do the trick

I agree with Aphrodite a sensual oil massage is a good start

You should introduce sex toys into the bedroom to make everything more interesting!

Well, after all this time, what has been alluded to a couple of times are the series of articles by EvilEvilKitten listed in the Index.

After all this time, couples still do not spend a lot of time just making out and turning their woman on. This is where I recommend people start. It's called: back to basics.

Hi, You have to explore yourself and find what you like, what turn you on. Where are the spot on your body that turn you on. You guys need alot foreplay before penetration. When I have sex I do alots of foreplay, from 15 minutes up to 45 minutes because i have a premature eyaculation problem so that way we will orgasm together.

[QUOTE=wat901;257356]me and my boyfriend are new to sex, and he seems to think that its easy to turn me on, but i find it a bit hard sometimes. He never fully turns me on, so i am never fully in the sex mood when he is. Anything he could do to turn me on more?[/QUOTE]
how about you take a vibrator&show him how you like it used and have him follow your cues

> how about you take a vibrator&show him how you like it used and have him follow your cues

This is a good idea; however, it is not the answer to her question which is: "me and my boyfriend are new to sex, and he seems to think that its easy to turn me on, but i find it a bit hard sometimes. He never fully turns me on, so i am never fully in the sex mood when he is."

Your boyfriend must understand the differences between the response curves of the two genders. First, that women require much more time and attention to making out and fooling around before ever getting to the foreplay stage and perhaps intercourse. Second, guys can benefit from the time taken to fully arouse his partner from all the touching, caressing, and kissing.

If your boyfriend is quick to insert his penis, or, is trying to bring about your climax without spending the time to fully arouse you, then no wonder you are not being fully aroused. So, to the people who have responded, it is not about vibrators because their stimulation is too intense and do not prepare a woman emotionally. It is not about the foreplay, it is about the build up of emotions as well as the physical excitement that comes from spending half an hour to forty five minutes kissing and caressing, whispering "sweet nothings", and just generally fooling around.

Please read the articles listed in the Index regarding making out. Knowledge is empowering!

Slow Oral of your Cat will get you started.

[QUOTE=paul52;266031]Slow Oral of your Cat will get you started.[/QUOTE]

What will get things started is to whisper in your wife's/girlfriend's ear in the morning what you would like to do with her later when you return home.

What will get things started is to write a love note and hide it in her purse, office desk drawer, or somewhere where she will find it during the day.

What will get things started is to telephone her and whisper into the phone what you would like the two of you to do, later--nothing else.

What will get things started is to cook dinner, and prepare a bath just for her.

What will keep things going is to do whatever you can to help her out around the house. If she is your girlfriend, same thing at her house.

What will keep things going and going is to be ever so attentive to her, and, to show her and tell her in so many small ways that she is ever gentle on your mind.

It's not about jumpin' her bones--or "petting her 'cat'".

How would you suggest telling him to slow down without ruining the mood? Sometimes when I fell like I'm not ready for penetration and I say something to him he thinks I'm saying he is bad at sex and gets his feelings hurt. I like doing body worship on him and being in control but not all the time, I wish he would take control sometimes. How do I tell him?

Hi, If this is just the beginning of your sex life, anxiety and getting anxious may have something to do with it. Relax and enjoy with some foreplay and when you are ready you will be ready.

[QUOTE=epicsexy;267448]How would you suggest telling him to slow down without ruining the mood? Sometimes when I fell like I'm not ready for penetration and I say something to him he thinks I'm saying he is bad at sex and gets his feelings hurt. I like doing body worship on him and being in control but not all the time, I wish he would take control sometimes. How do I tell him?[/QUOTE]

Tell him where you want to be touched, the pressure, the speed, etc.
Guide him, show him or tell him what you want him to do but after he does it make sure you compliment him!

Naaah, we were just discussing this tonight. Mist men with experience have a clue and a woman who won't shut up and let him drive is a huge turn-off. Just go with the flow, hun.
OR
If your bf isn't turning you on 'enough' perhaps you should get a new bf.

[QUOTE=epicsexy;267448]How would you suggest telling him to slow down without ruining the mood? Sometimes when I fell like I'm not ready for penetration and I say something to him he thinks I'm saying he is bad at sex and gets his feelings hurt. I like doing body worship on him and being in control but not all the time, I wish he would take control sometimes. How do I tell him?[/QUOTE]

Men have a healthy {Note: see discussion, below) ego that can at times cause trouble for all concerned. We also have fragile egos that can be bruised, it's a catch 22 situation at times.

There can be times when we want to believe we are great at doing something, whether we know how or not, and, there are times when asking for help or being seen looking for more information is seen as a sign of weakness. Witness the proverbial situation in which a man and woman are on a trip somewhere and he becomes lost. Rather than stop at a gas station or roadside business and ask for directions, he would rather drive around endlessly for half an hour or so in the hope of eventually finding his way again. The woman becomes frustrated, he is ever hopeful, and does not place much importance on the time lost or her lack of trust that he "can do this" and not get help that would most probably fix things sooner than later.

One suggestion to help him acquire more insight and information is to inform him that you have found this great website that is chuck full of information and ideas. Show him the illustrated animated sexual positions section on the Home Page, the many articles in the Index, and point out the various forum categories and the two search engines.

Encourage him to participate by telling him something you have learned that you did not know before and that is helpful. Next, show him where it has been written that men can be UP and ready for intercourse in a matter of minutes while women require much longer--on the order of half an hour or so of Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting, and Foreplay, in order to become fully and highly aroused, all before rushing toward the finish line! Women are wired differently, and if he does not know and understand the gender differences, he will not become the great lover he desires to be or believes himself to be. Knowledge is empowering and no one should be afraid to acquire as much as possible. Doing so is not a sign of weakness.

One way of telling him that you want more of something is not to boldly tell him; rather, simply moan "more" "more" and/or "more More MORE!" This approach shows your interest in what he has been doing, that he is doing something you like, and your wish for him to continue.

A second way of telling him you like what he is doing (or that a slight modification is required) is to place your hand on his and hold it in place or move it in a way that you need all the while moaning for more or saying something like "yes yes yes" or "more Baby"! If he tries to re)move his hand, hold it in place while you tell him more....

A third way of conveying much needed information and encouragement especially when things are going well, yet more of same is required is to simply exclaim breathfully: DON'T STOP DON'T STOP.

More than likely he will see these exclamations as eagerness on your part, that he is doing things correctly and that you like, not as a criticism that he might misinterpret as a hit against his ability that a statement or phrase might convey. These suggestions should be seen as positive on his part, not negatives or criticisms of his technique. When he has taken control and your romantic session is done, look into his eyes, SMILE, hold his face in your hands if you want, and tell him "I liked that, you'll have to do that again, soon."

What many inexperienced couples do not realize, especially men, is that making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership. If this is the case for the two of you, then do a search of the site using the search engine and this phrase. Note how many times this has been stated to others.

Encourage him to participate with you in reading all of the articles listed in the Index in order to become better at what each of you does for the other. This can be done together or independently. When finished with one or more articles, discuss what each of you has learned and add the information to what each of you already knows. Next, invite him to practice practice practice with you. Now, what hot red-blooded male will turn that offer down? The challenge or desire for the two of you (together) must be to learn as much as you can so as to please as much as you can, and, to have as much variety as you can.

One way is to not take charge or instigate a love making session. Wait for him to take the reins. It might be a while before he gets the idea, but sooner or later his need for relief will win over. Then, all he has to do is to connect sex with making love and this being the outward expression of the feelings he has for you.

Other suggestions, particularly if you know it has been a while since he has masturbated or the two of you have made love, is to:

A) go to bed before him, dress in a sexy negligee
B) go to bed before him, dress in your "birthday suit" (nothing)
C) while lying next to him begin caressing your body and later inviting him to take over

Each time he does take control, give him positive feedback and really lay it on.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

Sorry Doc but it is the UNhealthy ego that causes problems. A man confident in his masculinity does not fear taking instruction or accepting coaching - as it were. It is only those whose egos are WEAK who have to flaunt and fuss and wave their penis in your face to "prove" they're "a man".

If it were self evident there'd be no need to prove it.

YUP! you are correct, EEK, I stand corrected.

I chose the wrong word: "healthy" meaning STRONG.

Thanks doc I used your advice during sex lastnight and he got the idea of what I liked and he also really enjoyed it! I guess I was always to shy to tell him what felt good I'm glad I have though. Never thought moaning yes that feels so good would make that big of a difference.

TSK! What, you thought he read minds?!?!?!
Jeez, woman - give the man some guidance!

Lol I still have A LOT of learning to do.

Try getting him the guide that these guys produce: therealplayers,com
I got one and it was an eye opening education for me!

To Evil Kitty :)
MEN: from now on - slow down to the point where either she jumps your bones or she's not getting any! Enough of this "make me want you" stuff as if her pudenda was made of gold.
In my humble experience I think licking&responding to the lady body language is the best way to have her on a slow burn until she pounce on me

I miss foreplay :( nowdays its wham bam thank you sir! Damn, I am the woman in my relationship...

The Program, people - its here on the Forum and its free

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;269301]The Program, people - its here on the Forum and its free[/QUOTE]
Hey kitty what on earth is The Program!!!

Click search and type in the program...

To Horus and others,

Click on the Index found at the top of the main screen. You will find a link to "The Program" on Page 2, under EEKs, section.

The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page you will find even more information.

Hey.. I'm not alone... I'd have my man cookign me a nice slow dinner while I watch..and maybe hugg him from behind.. do guys liek that ? Or maybe I will cook dinner and he could hug me from behind.. or we coudl cook together...and have dessert first ??

I love genlte hugging and carrressing and teasing...

thanks for a great theme!)

any girls havin promblems gettn turn on. u kan tlk to me n i will turn u on