My boyfriend and I feel ready to take the next step in our relationship. Neither of us are virgins (he has a lot more experience than me though), but this feels like the first time all over again. We're both very nervous and my first experiences with sex were not good, so I'm kinda scared to get hurt (unintentionally of course, he's not going to purposly cause pain).
I'm even more intimidated b/c he's a marine and very, very muscular and much larger than me. I'm a little worried that the size difference is going to cause trouble finding comfortable positions.
How do I overcome my nervousness and relax and what can we do about the body size issues?


[QUOTE=cmg93;264633][COLOR="blue">My boyfriend and I feel ready to take the next step in our relationship. Neither of us are virgins (he has a lot more experience than me though), but this feels like the first time all over again.[/COLOR]
In addition to the above, please read this article that discusses experience:
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:
[COLOR="blue">We're both very nervous and my first experiences with sex were not good, so I'm kinda scared to get hurt (unintentionally of course, he's not going to purposly cause pain).[/COLOR]
Relationships are partnerships and this includes the romantic and sexual aspects of one. It's not all about what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other together.
Please read the articles listed in this section of the Index, also:
SEX e.g. INTERCOURSE
It is quite alright to be nervous. Here are some thoughts on the matter:
a. Admit to him that you are nervous when the time comes. Very often the admission will calm you.
b. Give him feedback, verbal and non-verbal on how you are responding to his caresses and for what you need now/next. (Experienced or not, we are not mind readers.) By working together as a team, you build confidence and trust.
c. Utilize the Woman Superior/Cowgirl position for the first couple of times. Why? Because this places the woman in control.
1. You will be able to bring P to V saving him some possible fumbling and angst.
2. You control the placement of P as well as the angle of penetration
3. You control the depth of penetration and the rate and speed of stroking
By doing all this, the two of you minimize the chances for discomfort and possible embarrassment.
[COLOR="blue">
I'm even more intimidated b/c he's a marine and very, very muscular and much larger than me. I'm a little worried that the size difference is going to cause trouble finding comfortable positions.[/COLOR]
How would you feel if you wrote the above without using "he's a marine"? Would his height and physique still be that important? If the man is caring and concerned about you, he is not going to squash you. If he is unaware of how to do the Missionary position, then he should review the animated illustrations on the Home Page and rest his torso on his forearms--above you.
[COLOR="blue">How do I overcome my nervousness and relax and what can we do about the body size issues?[/COLOR]
Both asked and answered, above. Reducing nervousness comes with a building of trust and confidence. Explore and learn together. [/QUOTE]
Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, and the Index. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page, you will find even more information, as noted.
I recommend that the two of you read every article, together or separately, then discuss what you have learned. Add the information to what each of you already knows. Knowledge is empowering.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?
-doc
[color=green]just like the Nike motto "just do it" and stop worrying so much......if you are so worried about him crushing you, then just don't let him be on top......if you're tiny, i doubt he's going to put his whole weight on you.....if he's like me, then he'll support himself when on top......i do it so i won't crush my wife....i just think you're overreacting[/color]
Dear CMG93,
I can understand your fears given your previous experiences. And I don't think you're overreacting, you posed a serious question. The basics of the answer to it is: enjoy, listen to your body and act accordingly.
About pain...
Please allow me to ask a few questions to give you any ideas why it did hurt previously;
How much time did you spend on caressing, kissing and foreplay?
How did you feel; were you relaxed or perhaps stressed (anxious)?
Were you very aroused before penetration?
Did you have an orgasm before penetration?
Did you check beforehand whether you were lubricated enough (natural or perhaps you've added)?
Pain is a sign that you're not ready for penetration (body and mind). So first of all; relax and don't push yourself into doing anything you're not ready to do!
How to relax?
Pay lots of attention to your body and listen to it carefully. Cuddle, kiss, caress, use fingers and tongues. Have an orgasm or more! Make sure you are very much aroused before you start on penetration. And make sure you're well lubricated. You may add some if you'd like. But preferably when you think you're dry; take more time on the petting, necking, kissing and foreplay. And don't forget: Enjoy! That's what sex is all about! :) It's no test or competition, only lots of fun!
Positions; Girls on top
What I think worked wonderfully for my first time; being on top of him. It leaves you in control. You can decide how far you will take him in. If you push in a bit and you're not comfortable, feel free to take it out. Kiss and cuddle and (perhaps) try again. And if he's in, you can decide at what pace you'd like to go. He may assist you if you'd like; he could help you angle your hips to facilitate penetration. Or he could hold your hips to assist you keeping up with the pace. Last but not least; there are no worries about him being so much larger than you are, since you only have to connect pelvises and there's lots of freedom for you to try every angle possible! :)
Once you've experienced that you can be relaxed, enjoy and have fun while having sex, trying other positions will be less anxious.
Knowledge; empowering and reassuring
I recommend you to read several articles on this site, especially those in the index: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/index-sexinfo101-board-topics/22777-begi... The list under "beyond beginning" may be very interesting for you to read. It contains lots of tips on how to please and be pleased before penetration (during and after ;))
Also, when you'd like more inspiration on positions, see the sexpositionguide http://www.sexinfo101.com/sexualpositions.shtml
I hope this post is of help to you and I wish you a beautiful experience! :)
AND: don't forget about the condoms!
Thanks for the advice guys. I think I need to just talk to him more. And as dumb as this sounds, I didn't realize that missonary required the guy to use his arms to keep above me. None of the other guys I've been with have done that...
> I didn't realize that missionary required the guy to use his arms to keep above me.
There are several variations to the position. Please go to the Home Page, click on show all positions and scroll down to the Missionary and then have a look at all of them--plus any others that might intrigue you.
> None of the other guys I've been with have done that.
Perhaps someone some day will point this sight out to them. On the other hand, please keep in mind that every one of us starts with very little knowledge and no experience. Making out and having intercourse are bound to be less than hoped for and for what will hopefully be improved upon with experience and information. Sex manuals used to be the main source of information, nowadays you have sites like this and other online resources.
Depending on his size (were talking member here, not body) you can try a lot of different positions. If I were you I would suggest being on top. It allows you total control, and if he's really muscular, he should have no trouble arching his back and really giving it to you if you want him to. (Amazing position and it allows perfect gspot stimulation.
I generally don't have a whole lot of weight over my partners. Usually about 60lbs. With one partner I actually had 100lbs. (She reminded me of that pornstar little lupe) she was 5 foot 90lbs. But she loved the fact I was twice her weight. Her favorite position was me on top and her legs around me and basically just throwing my whole weight behind it. And after my orgasm she just liked me laying completely on her. She was intimidated at first. But realized she enjoyed it.
So give it a shot. If your scared be on top. If he's caring let him take control
> I didn't realize that missionary required the guy to use his arms to keep above me. None of the other guys I've been with have done that...
If either of you want him to rest his torso upon yours, he can. By transferring most of his weight to his hands and arms, you will derive the closeness of full body contact, without the discomfort. As you look at the many illustrations of positions, you will find many variations to each theme. Feel free to experiment and learn together.
-doc
[color=green]the plus side....it's a good abs workout for him
he's on his knees and elbows.....you can hook your arms around his arms and your legs around his torso.......he can lower himself even more if he pushes his knees back away from you two
kinda like this position
[url=http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_drill.shtml]Drill Sex Position[/color]
Hey there,
Just try and relax when you are going to have sex with him. If you would like you should go and get a massage the day before or the day your going to have sex with him it will help loosen up your body and mind and put you at ease. If you feel your too tight for him just go to a pharmacy or sex shop and ask for water based lube and ask for one which can be ingested and is the best to use. Use some on his penis for him to enter you. :D
Since you both are nervous and you don;t know if you would be comfortable the best position is to try is to start out in the good ole missionary position. Since your man is a marine I am sure he will be able to pump some good stuff into you with his muscles lol. You can always try doggy style which is awesome. You can ride him in bed too.
> You can ride him in bed too.
Any and all positions are OK, as long as both feel comfortable with the choice.
In my reply, above, I placed the Woman Superior/Cowgirl position at the top of the list for the reasons stated. Did you read my reply?
I like to have your cock scratched with long nails for that extra feeling or If you like to be whacked in the balls and feel the pain before and while your wanking they love to do it to please you. Just imagine how it would feel to have the woman
Ariana, please make your responses on point. Several of your posts offer no direct help for the topic being discussed. Either provide relevant replies or stop posting.
Please add a Private Message address to your profile.
Thank you,
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