nearly every time my wife and I have sex, she ends up with a muscle cramp of some sort. Most of the time these cramps are in her calf or thigh (presumably from the position of her legs) but sometimes she gets them in her side or even her ankles.
Is there any way to decrease the chances of getting a cramp? or a more effective way of relieving them than just massaging them out?
she had a full blood panel done about 4 months ago which revealed she has the very early stages of RA, but she's gotten these leg and side cramps off and on for years. I'll see if she wants to try some sports drinks, but hydration has never really been her strong point.
More potassium beforehand. Increase her hydration beforehand.
But no, massaging is the best way to work them out.
An orgasm is the release of tension (myotonia), in all muscles, built up during the arousal. She is not getting it all released. This, as you seem to suspect, is likely related to position during sex. Even slight changes in position can make a difference. Evil is correct in that rubbing it out is the real solution once the cramping has begun.
It is actually the K-Na balance (potassium-sodium) that causes spontaneous cramping. Most of us are more likely to short of potassium but it can work either way. Next time she has blood work done, have the sodium and potassium levels checked. In the meantime, "sports drinks" help in keeping this in balance.
Another culprit may be calcium defiency or pararthyroid dysfunction, especially if she has frequent cramping of the hands too. It may just be tension in the lower extremitites during some positions for which strenthening and stretching of the effected muscle groups will elleviate over time. However, if this is new for her and continues to be bothersome, she should discuss this with her Dr so the proper blood work can be ordered.
Plenty of hydration before, during, and after! Also, you will want to look into making slight position changes more frequently, especially with developing RA. Sex is a great pain reliever, but also a pain masker and with the large amount of clenched muscles stressing the connective tissue one can be in a world of pain shortly afterwards and it can take a very long time to recover from that.
Just a note about massaging leg cramps.
Have her flex her ankle and toes as if she were trying to point her toes toward her head. (You can actually position your body so that your chest or leg presses against the bottom of her foot -- but be gentle, you are not trying to flex the ankle any more than is comfortable for her.) Massage the cramp concentrating on strokes toward the heart. You may find that your thumbs have the most strength for this. Use firm pressure but not so much that you add to her pain.
If she's not great at hydrating, have her add banana to her diet.
I don't mind massaging, but just looking for something preventative