Hello,
Ok me and muh boyfriend are in high school and we have dicided to have sex. I am not a virgin and I am not as scared, I am only scared because i love him and i want everything to be ok for him. He is a virgin and he wants to have sex with me, but he is scared. He told me that I would have to push him into it. I am ok with this, but i am not exactly sure how to do it. Any siggestions or anything? thanks! e-mail if u want at [email="remedialfairy3@yahoo.com"]remedialfairy3@yahoo.com[/email]
Mon, 01/12/2004 - 03:54
#1
Muh Boyfriend
From what you said about him being so scared that you will have to push him into it, it sounds that he's not ready fro sex yet. I believe that noone should ever be pushed into having sex, especially the first time. Then you decide to lose your virginity, in my opinion at least, there shouldn't be any things stopping you really. You will be scared of course, but it shouldn't be that your partner has to push you. In your case, I would just do other things, until he decides that it's time and he will be sure of it enough that he won't have to be pushed, and until then...I'm sure you can find plenty of other things to do. Just down the line, if you guys decide to break up, you also down want him hating you for pushing him to do before he was ready. Good luck
[QUOTE=Quote (remedialfairy3 @ Jan. 12 2004,14:20)]i am still not sure what to do...[/QUOTE]
You should wait. The slightest hesitation on his part shows he's not ready, but he's feeling pressure from you. Perhaps while you're both preparing for your time together, you might while away the time with some reading on birth control, teen pregnancy, STDs, etc. That's how you can really help to prepare him.
well this is me, remedialfairy3, and i thought about this and talked to him about it, he says that he is compleatly ready, however if he isnt pushed into it, he doesnt know if he would do it, he is afraid that i will think all he wants is sex, no matter how many times i tell him i dont think that about him. i am still not sure what to do...
I agree 100% with thetease. If he is truly ready, then he shouldn't have to be forced.
Sex works best when it is a partnership. Both people involved should be fully committed and sincere about pleasing each other. Putting the pressure on one partner to "make me do it" is only asking for trouble later in the relationship.
Personally, I would tell him that we would take that step when we both agreed on the time and place beforehand. And after we had made plans for the precautions(birth control/disease prevention) we would need.
personally, i don't believe you should have to "push" him into it.
if he says he's ready, no matter how scared he says he is, he shouldn't have someone "push" him into it.
and later on, it may backfire on you and he may make it seem like you forced him to do it.
have you guys done other things together that were sexual??
instead of saying ok tonight we will have sex and ill initiate, maybe you guys could just have fun w/ lots of foreplay. fondle and do oral on eachother. that way after awhile hopefully he will start to relax and get horny enough that he'll get up the courage to initiate sex w/ you.
that way you don't have to feel like you are pressuring him. like the other posts said, if you force him and for some reason something doesn't go right... he'll probably blame you.
just take it slow and let things happen as they may.