yes, use lube, but be sure to look for a water based one, as well as be sure it does not contain spermicides.

I answered your similar question under pleasing her section when you asked about her lack of arousal, you didn't mention that you too are having trouble with arousal. I personly think that the two of you have pressured yourselves in your efforts to conceive that you are not allowing your brains to do what should be natural. You both are so preoccupied with getting pregnant that you are not enjoying yourselves or each other. If your only goal is pregnancy, and pregnancy doesn't happen, you are only going through the motions. It's kind of like demand sex which isn't arousing nor enjoyable. Not getting pregant can be devasting when two people who want children as you and your wife clearly do. But try real hard not to pressure yourselves unnecesarily. She's probubly feeling inadaquate as a woman since she hasn't conceived yet making arousal difficult and/or impossible for her. Her inability to become physically aroused must seem like a lack of desire or interest in you which makes it hard for you to get an erection when you are together. This creates a viscious cycle that gets worse with the onset of each monthly period. Maybe the two of you need to sit down and have a heart to heart and let the other off the hook about getting pregnant. You may be haboring negative feelings towards each other over it and it's important that neither of you feels responsible. Satisfing sex with your life partner is like glue that helps you weather the storms that life brews up. Just because it doesn't result in pregancy doesn't mean that it isn't worthwhile for the health and longevity of the marital bond you two hope to have.

> my wife do not get sexually aroused and that makes me very tough to insert my penis into her vagina.

My first concern is how much time do the two of you spend fooling around and making out, i.e., kissing, caressing, snuggling, touching, whispering words of love? Please tell us how many minutes you devote to these activities.

My second concern is a sensitive one, yet must be asked: Is your wife romantically and sexually attracted to you? (If, for example, the two of you had an arranged marriage, maybe she is not and therefore there are no pheromones and emotions between the two of you.

The third question: when the two of you decide to have sex, how soon after laying beside each other do you attempt to enter her?

Fourth: how often do you masturbate?

Fifth: do the two of you ever help each other have orgasms by hand and/or mouth {Foreplay) only?

> Once I insert my penis in to her vagina ..I push my penis hard to go inside her vagina and I try to ejaculate by streching my legs and thigh very hard ....Her vagina do not have proper lubrication and it won't be in swollen state.

[COLOR="RED">STOP![/COLOR] Your attempt to push your penis inside is just wrong. If a penis does not easily glide right in, there is a problem. Attempting to shove a dry penis thru a dry opening and into a dry vagina is uncomfortable, possibly being a very sore process, and most likely will cause friction burns and/or scrapes.

Without knowing any more than this, this is a signal that something is very wrong, and, that the two of you should use a lubricant on the shaft of your penis and in and around her vaginal entrance!

After you provide answers to the questions, above, we can go about offering some relevant advice.

Have the two of you read any of the articles listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen. If not, I strongly recommend that the two of you read each article either together or separately, then discuss the information in each, and add it to what each of you already knows. The articles discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about, including how best to sexually arouse each other. Knowledge is empowering.

Right now, with what you have shared with us I do not know if your difficulty is emotional, physical, both, or medical.

Okay RULE ONE is that unless she orgasms, the vagina is HOSTILE to sperm for most women. So, unless she has an orgasm BEFORE vaginal penetrative intercourse, you have no hope of getting her pregnant. Just how it is for some women and since you have been trying for so long, I'd guess this applies to you. If you've ever watched the documentaries, you will have seen that during orgasms, the cervix actually dips down into the pool of sperm and sucks it into the uterus. Keep those orgasms coming, buddy! KY hasn't any spermacides in it so that's a non-issue. Stop masturbating.

What to do about it?

Find, read, and do The Program - an article found elsewhere in this forum. You want to get her so relaxed & aroused that your merest touch causes her to orgasm. Really get into the foreplay annd the body worship. Do this about three times per week. 10 minutes is NOT long enough. Research has shown that a minimum of 22 minutes is required - for BOTH of you.

BUT that's only half the battle - there's YOU to be considered too. How's your health? Are you hydrating prior to sexual intercourse? Have you had your sperm count checked? Are you wearing loose-fitting pants? Are you getting enough vitamins including zinc?

Some women only have to look at a naked man to become pregnant but if this is not the case for you, then you're going to have to put more thought into the process. If the above advice doesn't work - then consult a doctor who specializes in reproduction.

Thank you very much for your feedback.

[QUOTE=martinsex101;266334][COLOR="blue">Here are the answers :

1. We spend atleast 10 minutes to fool ourselves and discuss lovely words about sex[/COLOR]

Men can be UP and ready for an orgasm in a matter of minutes, not so for the gentler gender, most of the time. Women require much more time in order to become aroused. The two of you should be devoting at least a half an hour, or longer within reason, to cuddling, kissing, caressing, massaging, and just generally touching her body (and yours) in ways that pleasure the two of you. Men can also benefit from this time by becoming aroused more than what is required to bring about our orgasm.

[COLOR="blue">2.Some times I am sexually attracted when I see her breasts ...other than that I don't feel any sexualy attraction from her.ours is arranged marriage[/COLOR]

My comment will hopefully be with dignity, respect, and, with great sensitivity, so please do not be offended: "Love" comes in a couple of different forms; first, "love" as in devotion and respect for the individual *; second, in the form of a deep emotional and physical attachment that involves the two psyches.**

With the latter type, our individual sexual pheromones {chemicals that are able to act outside of the body in the air around us) attract members of the opposite gender or our mates and with the interactions between the chemicals being emitted by both parties, make each of us ready for sex and drive us to this goal.

* With many arranged marriages, "love" may manifest itself as in the first description; two people who may or may not know each other, each with a past, who are brought together in order to have a future greater than the sum of its two parts. Whether the marriage is formed with two strangers or two people who know each other, friends or not, love may "grow" or not.

** When two people meet and develop a friendship and later interact socially and privately with each other over time and learn if there is sufficient compatibility, interest, devotion, and attraction, then the type of love in the second description can happen. This is why people in western societies date. For more on this, please read the articles listed in the Index that discuss the activity.

Arranged marriages seem to serve families who wish to maintain social status, financial standing, and bloodlines {pedigree and lineage). "Love" of the second variety rarely develops, and, herein may lie your problem. While you and your wife may like each other, enjoy each other's company, respect each other, etc., there is no physical, emotional, or connection between your two psyches. If true, this most likely explains the lack of sexual attraction and inability to become turned on and aroused.

[COLOR="blue">> 3.After 10 minutes I start inserting my penis. Since I use VIAGRA I get erection soon after 5 minutes but not with sexual feeling ....she touches my penis and my penis starts getting erection .that's it ..[/COLOR]

This is indeed a sad state of affairs, Martin. Had your society and traditions permitted you to date several women and get to know them personally, privately, and socially, and to select one who is attracted to you and you to her, then the chance for developing a more rounded love would be probable. In western cultures, dating should not begin and end with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us. The process of dating is to learn about as many different people as possible and to learn what humanity has to offer us in a potential mate.

Things like social status, financial standing, lineage, are all predicated upon individual effort, as well as how our collective accomplishments are perceived by our friends and neighbors. We make our own way in the world, rather than having our path preordained.

[COLOR="blue">> 4.Once in a week I musturbate and I feel enjoyable at the time of climax and spill my semen with a force from penis[/COLOR]

You are quite normal!

[COLOR="blue">5.I do foreplay but never tried oral sex near her vagina as I get bad smell and taste when I lick her vagina.[/COLOR]

The term "foreplay" specifically refers to the stimulation of the genitals by mouth and/or hand. Please read the article that describes Necking, Petting, etc. and those specific activities.

Does your wife bathe within a reasonable time before the two of you have sex? If not, then body odor can be a definite turn off. If, however, your wife's body clean then please understand that a woman's vaginal mucus does have a unique smell, not to mention being an acquired taste.

[COLOR="blue">When my penis is erected ...I feel dry ..[/COLOR]

Normally, when a man initially becomes aroused, with or without an erect penis, a small amount of clear liquid will appear on the end of his penis. Are you saying that there is no fluid, or, if you mean something else regarding being "dry", please explain.

[COLOR="bluek">never tried with KY jelly as she always oppose to that with a reason it may not give pregnancy[/COLOR]

K-Y brand and any other type of water-based lubricant is OK to use. Also, you can try using saliva as a lubricant, although, it must be refreshed often.

[COLOR="blue">I read all your articles myself about orgasm,pregnancy ..I shared only few abou self masturbating and sex positions fro getting pregnancy ..

I thank all who responded to my questions...

to be honest I didn't enjoyed SEX with orgasm till now with any person ...I satisfy myself with musturbation...[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Please feel free to continue the discussion.

As for being in an arranged marriage - please see the article "The Three System of Love".

> Yes you are right ...When my penis is erected especially with VIAGRA I do not get clear liquid appearing at the end of his penis....

If the two of you are only spending an average of ten minutes making out, then my guess is that neither of you have given yourselves sufficient time to become adequately aroused.

Martin, do you understand that men and women respond differently? As mentioned, previously, men can be ready to perform and have an orgasm within moments of becoming erect; not so, most women. For women, sexual arousal requires lots and lots of time and attention to kissing, and, caressing, with ever more intensity. EEK stated a minimum of 22 minutes, I'm recommending half an hour or more, within reason.

If you are attempting to have intercourse as soon as or shortly after you become erect, then you are proceeding way too rapidly. So, while this can be alright for you, not for your wife.

> But usually when I get sexually feelings with or without an erection I get clear liquid...

And there in lies the problem. Had I to guess, it would be that your wife is not turned on and sexually aroused by you, or you by her presence, thus the need for Viagra. In order to test the validity of my theory, I'd like the two of you to slow down, take your time, and begin really pleasuring each other, physically and emotionally. Your wife requires this, and you will greatly benefit from the slower approach.

If she fails to produce vaginal mucus then while there could be a medical problem, most likely it is simply due to not being aroused naturally by your presence. Having an arranged marriage with little or no emotional attachment to a partner is going to be difficult or impossible to overcome. While she may like you--even love you, there is a difference between love and being "in love", as explained, above.

> I hope this clear liquid also helps for Lubrication in her vagina.

The pre-ejaculate fluid serves to cleanse the urethra and neutralize the residual acidity left behind from the urine. "Precum" or Cowper's fluid does offer some lubricating properties; however, the amount generated each time varies widely depending upon the individual and how intensely he is aroused each time. For all practical purposes, what little that does appear on the tip of the penis only helps with initial penetration as well as stimulating the penis by stroking by hand.

You'd be much better off spending the time to help your wife become aroused. When she becomes aroused, it is a safe bet to find that she will then produce a lot of vaginal mucus that will take care of the need for lubrication most if not all of the time. If you need additional lubrication, then by all means take advantage of a commercial product.

Your need for Viagra or one of the other ED medicines seems to me to be a direct result of not being adequately aroused, due all or in part to rushing too quickly and/or simply not being sexually attracted to each other. If the latter proves to be true, there is not much that can be done.

If all else fails you as a couple, my recommendation is to:
A) spend time making out
B) use a lubricant in and around her vaginal opening
C) use a lubricant on the shaft of your penis

D) attempt within reason to arouse her physically
+) whether or not this happens, either stimulate yourself manually by masturbating to and just short of climaxing, or, invite your wife to stimulate you to this point.

When you are ready to ejaculate, yet can still maintain sufficient control in order to move around and get into position, then enter her. The initial inward stroke or one of the next few should be sufficient to trigger your orgasm.

E) follow what you have been doing in the past by placing a pillow under her, and, also waiting a few minutes after ejaculating before pulling out.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?