Hey everyone. My boyfriend and I really do not want me to get pregnant. We are probably going to marry each other in the future but we do not want any children at all. I have never had children and I am thankful for that because I do not feel I could handle them with my health conditions and such.
Anyway, I am currently on the depo provera shot so I know the chance of pregnancy is really low as it is but I think both of us would appreciate the added protection of a condom. Well, there is a problem. We have tried a few different types of condoms in the past but they just aren't sensitive enough for him. He says he can't feel anything with one on. In other words, it dramatically reduces the sensation that he feels during sex.
We have tried Trustex condoms, Lifestyles Skyn condoms, and I believe we also tried the Durex Avanti Bare condoms. None of these types of condoms were good for us, they still dramatically reduced the sensation he felt. So, what are the most sensitive condoms out there? Also, will adding a drop of lube to the tip of a condom increase the sensitivity he feels? We never tried that in the past but I heard it is a good thing to do.
If you are so definite regarding no children, it is time to consider sterilization. Firmus gives some good reasoning. The other side, is that it is the woman's body which becomes pregnant. I had it done in my early thirties (in a group; one of my classmates was practicing after she finished her residency) and found it to be no big deal. Done Friday; worked Monday.
[QUOTE=Spicygirl82;278279] I wonder about your second point though of not putting the condom on until he is at the brink of ejaculation. I mean, you can get pregnant through pre-ejaculate, right? What if some his pre-ejaculate gets in me? Wouldn't it be best to wear the condom the entire time?[/QUOTE]
Yipe;
Pretty sure he means to stimulate him another way (hands/mouth/ect) BEFORE penetration, then put the condom on and proceed with penetration.
You're right in that letting him inside without the condom would be a bad idea.
[QUOTE=Spicygirl82;278279]
He has considered getting a vasectomy but he does not have health insurance and can't afford it. I have considered getting my tubes tied but I am worried about the risks of the surgery. I am obese and from what I understand, the risk increases with obese people. I am hoping this new birth control mandate will make sure that the Essure procedure is covered because I have heard that it is a lot safer.
[/QUOTE]
Not meaning to sound snarky or anything, but if it's something he's wanting to do it'd make the most sense to figure out a way to afford it. It'll ALWAYS be cheaper than a kid. :)
I'm just saying for his procedure over yours just for the sake of safety. You're awake the whole time unless you take a valium. I didn't, and I drove home myself. lol!
It's an incredibly easy and incredibly painless for what it is. Don't listen to most "guys" that get all squeamish about it. It was less of an issue than having a spat of poison ivy, and I had to have it done twice (1st didn't take).
[QUOTE=dancingdoc2;278240]Some men, me included, simply do not receive enough friction when wearing a condom sufficient to build arousal to the brink.
What may be of big help are the following:
A. Lubricate the head of his penis before rolling the condom on. Lubricate the exterior of the condom. DO NOT lubricate the shaft of the penis.
B. Build his level of arousal to the brink of an orgasm yet stopping while he is still able to maintain control--then roll the condom on. If you do the deed, you can continue to tease his penis as you proceed just enough so he will not slide backward.
These two together will hopefully be enough so that he can get past the point of no return. Adding the lube to the glans/head will permit some wiggle room so that he can reclaim some needed friction.[/QUOTE]
Thanks for the advice DancingDoc. We will probably try the lube on the glans of his penis and on the exterior of the condom and see if that helps. I wonder about your second point though of not putting the condom on until he is at the brink of ejaculation. I mean, you can get pregnant through pre-ejaculate, right? What if some his pre-ejaculate gets in me? Wouldn't it be best to wear the condom the entire time?
[QUOTE=Firmus;278242]Does he 100% never want children in the future, regardless if with you or not? Only asking because if you go the route of a procedure a vasectomy is incredibly fast and easy.[/QUOTE]
He has considered getting a vasectomy but he does not have health insurance and can't afford it. I have considered getting my tubes tied but I am worried about the risks of the surgery. I am obese and from what I understand, the risk increases with obese people. I am hoping this new birth control mandate will make sure that the Essure procedure is covered because I have heard that it is a lot safer.
[QUOTE=Brandye;278252]Too bad you did not combine your questions into one. A partial response is posted in your other thread.
Of 100 women on the shot for a year, three will become pregnant. Of 100 women using vaginal spermicide, alone and properly, for a year, fifteen will become pregnant. That would mean that of 1000 women using vaginal spermicide whilst on depo for a year, fewer than five (4.5) would become pregnant. Add a condom (also 15 per 100) and the rate of pregnancy becomes seven in 10000. How "safe" do you wish?[/QUOTE]
Thanks Brandye. I might try getting some spermicide instead of condoms and use the spermicide with the shot. That said, it would be horrible if I got pregnant. We definitely do not want children ever.
Too bad you did not combine your questions into one. A partial response is posted in your other thread.
Of 100 women on the shot for a year, three will become pregnant. Of 100 women using vaginal spermicide, alone and properly, for a year, fifteen will become pregnant. That would mean that of 1000 women using vaginal spermicide whilst on depo for a year, fewer than five (4.5) would become pregnant. Add a condom (also 15 per 100) and the rate of pregnancy becomes seven in 10000. How "safe" do you wish?
Some men, me included, simply do not receive enough friction when wearing a condom sufficient to build arousal to the brink.
What may be of big help are the following:
A. Lubricate the head of his penis before rolling the condom on. Lubricate the exterior of the condom. DO NOT lubricate the shaft of the penis.
B. Build his level of arousal to the brink of an orgasm yet stopping while he is still able to maintain control--then roll the condom on. If you do the deed, you can continue to tease his penis as you proceed just enough so he will not slide backward.
These two together will hopefully be enough so that he can get past the point of no return. Adding the lube to the glans/head will permit some wiggle room so that he can reclaim some needed friction.
Does he 100% never want children in the future, regardless if with you or not? Only asking because if you go the route of a procedure a vasectomy is incredibly fast and easy.
Don't wear cheap bras!
I like natural condoms. Not good for STD but works for sperm.
Yes, they are effective for bacterial STDs; not for viral.
Personally I like to use Trojan Ultra Thin, they provide the same amount of protection against pregnancy and STDs but much more pleasure and sensations for both partners.