I don't enjoy anal sex and don't have much experience with it. A few nights ago my hubby and I had anal sex and when he was done, I noticed a little bit of poo on the towel. This totally mortifies me. Is this normal? Is there some way to prevent it?
Wed, 07/21/2010 - 00:56
#1
mortifying anal sex experience
I wish I could enjoy drinking aloe vera juice. But I don't. I don't like the taste. Everybody tells me that it's really nutritious and they even like the taste. But I still don't like it. There's not really anything I can do about it.
If you're using a lot of lube, going very slowly, and trying to relax there's not much else you can do. If you're not afraid or resistant to the idea and doing deep breathing, you're about as relaxed as you can get. Anal sex can be an acquired pleasure for some women. When people say these things and try to skirt around the issue that it will not be pleasurable for a lot of women, this kind of situation happens. Women think they're doing something wrong because they're not enjoying anal sex. Just because some other people say it's pleasurable for them doesn't mean it will be pleasurable for everybody. The fact that some of these people call it an "acquired taste" is very telling as well.
Why even try to acquire a taste for a sexual act, unless you're doing it for a reason other than your pleasure? (The other reason being his pleasure.)
Do you two have oral sex? Analingus? If you're not sure if you're relaxed, have an orgasm first and then try anal sex. If it's still not enjoyable, try to fill the time until your vagina is sex-ready with oral sex on eachother, handjobs, erotic massage, or even anal (especially prostate) stimulation on him.
[QUOTE=hands_off_the_goods;257235]I don't enjoy anal sex and don't have much experience with it. A few nights ago my hubby and I had anal sex and when he was done, I noticed a little bit of poo on the towel. This totally mortifies me. Is this normal? Is there some way to prevent it?[/QUOTE]
Yes, it's normal since anal sex involves your rectum, the passage for poop to exit your body. The best way to prevent is it not have it. Second best, use a condom. Anal sex is the highest risk sexual activity for most STDs, including HIV/Aids, and injury overall. If you don't enjoy anal sex, there is no reason you should be engaging in it. Your husband doesn't have a right to subject you to those risks. If he thinks otherwise, he's an asshole. Period. If that's the case, kick him to the curb and find somebody new.
"Mortify?" That seems a bit strong?
What if at some point in your life you have to change a messy diaper?
Is it normal to find a bit of feces left behind? Well, yes, if the stool is soft and moist, the person recently went to the bathroom, etc. At other times, no. Best answer: It all depends....
Ways to avoid it: Use a 'rectal syringe' (also called a rectal douche, $5 at the local drug store) with warm water. Repeat until the water runs clear, and you'll be good to go.
If this is the only thing stopping you from enjoying anal sex, then good luck!
If it isn't I''d suggest talking to your partner about making it enjoyable.
Dear HG, you write: 'I don't enjoy anal sex' and 'when he was done'. It sounds as if he's the only one getting fun out of it... Sex should be pleasurable for both of you, also when you are on the receiving end of anal. Please note: it is your body, don't do anything you do not want! (pay homage to your nickname :))
I think you should also know about risks of anal penetration for both you and your husband. See: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/sex-toys-products/28800-dildos-human-anu...
He didn't force anal sex on me. I recently had a baby and since my vag is off liimits for another month I offered my anus instead. I know the risks of anal sex. We are both clean so that's a non issue. I guess the reason I don't enjoy it is that no matter how lubed up I am, the initial penetration hurts ( and he goes very very slow to minimize this) then after that I feel like I have to poo the whole time. It makes me so self concious that I can't enjoy it.
Exactly what part are you expecting to enjoy then? The feeling of having to poop is very normal. The people that enjoy receiving anal sex get pleasure out of this feeling or are at least aroused by it. Saying that you don't enjoy something because it hurts or is uncomfortable is a little redundant though. Of course you're not going to enjoy something that you feel is uncomfortable. ;) There's no explanation needed.
Also, you still don't owe him a replacement orifice. Is sex something you do for him? Can he not masturbate for a month or participate in activities you both enjoy? There is more to sex than just sticking a penis in an orifice. There's no reason you should be doing something you're uncomfortable with until the babymaker is back in order.
[QUOTE=hands_off_the_goods;257245] I recently had a baby and since my vag is off liimits for another month I offered my anus instead....I guess the reason I don't enjoy it is that no matter how lubed up I am, the initial penetration hurts ( and he goes very very slow to minimize this) then after that I feel like I have to poo the whole time. It makes me so self concious that I can't enjoy it.[/QUOTE]
Have you read this article?
"Playing Ball" and How To Tips for Prostate Massage
This is also an excellent tutorial for people interested in and concerned about the how-to of Anal stimulation as well as play.
BTW, I apologize for the comment on dirty diapers. The clarification would have been helpful in your first post.
Dear HG,
Forgive me if I didn;t make myself clear. I did not mean to say he forced you, but it sounds like you are forcing yourself into something you do not like to do. Even hurts you, makes you feel uncomfortable and self conscious. Sex should be a celebration of mutual pleasure and even: a celebration of love. Anal stimulation can be pleasurable. For me it is (though he has never penetrated me with anything larger than 2 fingers). Your reasons do not appear to be about curiosity of new sorts of pleasure... and that's what worries me a bit.
If it's not to bold, I would like to ask you a question: what is it that you fear if you do not provide your husband with this substitute?
If you do NOT enjoy it, do NOT do it.
No, you don't have to justify your decision.
I would one day like to enjoy anal sex. I don't feel as if I owe my husbnd an orfice. I have my libido back (in just over a week) I know my baby maker is out of commission for awhile and still want to be intimate with him. I have heard before that anal sex can be considered an acquired pleasure. I am very open to trying new things and hope that one day I can and will enjoy it. Do I feel that he will leave me or cheat on me if I don't give him sex? Absolutely not. So if anyone can give me some advice on relaxing a bit or some techniques I can try to make it more pleasurable for me I'd appreciate it. I really do want to enjoy any and all sorts of sex.
Excuse me? You HEARD it was great, tred it and did not find it great - so..end of story. Move on. But no, for some reason you think you SHOULD become good at it. Like it is mandatory or something. WHY? If anyone should receive anal sex it is men because they're the ones with the P-Spot.
You dont HAVE to try everything out there. What you do try and find you don't enjoy you do not HAVE to continue doing, especially since there's a LOT of other things to do and to try.
I do NOT enjoy anal sex and refuse to have it. My body = my rules. If he doesn't like it, he can go elsewhere. I am not some blow-up sex doll but a ferocious woman enthusiastically willing to enjoy him until he goes blind.
No man should ask for more.