Ok, my ex girlfriend and I are only friends now and neither of us see it becoming anymore than that. When we were together, I could tell she new more about sex than me, and I was hoping she would teach me. We're talking now, and the rough parts over. We're completely honest with each other, no matter how bad it hurts each other. She's single and so am I, we've both not had any for a while and I'm not comfortable trying sex with someone else to learn things. My question is, do you think it would make things worse between us if I asked her to teach me some things and allow me to practice on her? I think it would benefit both of us, but I don't want to risk jeopardizing our friendship over it. When we were together I found out she had no clue how to masterbate me. And I had no clue how to eat her out. It was weird at the time, but I think I'm comfortable enough with her and myself to "use" her to learn a few things.
Thu, 05/05/2005 - 16:53
#1
More of a relationship question
Well, there's really nothing you can do then. If she doesn't want to carry it on, you just have to leave it like that.
Some people can remain great friends after a breakup.... some, not so much.
That's just the thing though...I can't even talk to her anymore. We used to miss each other an hour after we parted, then talk on the phone for 8 hours about god knows what. Now It's like this: Me: Hey, how've you been? Her:good (10 min silence) how's school? good (10 min silence). I asked her, and she said she thought it was weird, but not for me. I may have ruined it, but maybe it's for the better. I've done everything I could to keep each other a part of each others lives, she just doesn't seem to want that, even though she says different, her actions tell me the opposite. I'm gonna quit callin her and if she wants to talk to me, she can get hold of me somehow.
I think I will ask her, but she just started talking to me again and I think it will take a little time before I can decide if I can talk to her about that. If she were to want me back, I'd take her back in a split second, though I know she'd turn me down right now. I'm not over her, and I doubt I ever will be. The worst feeling in the world is to love someone who doesn't or can't love you back.
Well, if I have to categorize my guy, it will be friends with benefits. We have a strong sexual attraction between us. I mean, we do find each other attractive in other ways but it's really a sexual thing. While at times, I'm sure we both wish that it could be more than just friends with benefits, but knowing that it can't, we accept the occasional get together and do it thing.
I believe that even after it's all over, we can still be friends. Our personalities are what drew each other to each other from the start. The sex and other attraction things just grew out of it.
But, as awesum said, for others, it can ruin the friendship, so really, you just have to talk to her about it.
My guy was much more sexually experienced than me. He was actually my first and I'm proud to say that. He was someone I wanted to lose it to and learn from and he's helped me a lot in the sex area and outside the sex area as well.
But anyways, on a note to your last sentence, while I do understand the whole caring/loving someone in a way they will never do to you, and how frustrating that can be, I don't think it's the worse feeling the world.
Your ex at least acknowledged you in the past and must still care for you in some way to still be talking to you and still perhaps want to do this sex thing. That says something to me.
Me and my guy, we can never be and he may never feel some of the things I feel for him at times, but I look at it as he cares enough about me to not just throw me to the curb like people in my past have. He cares enough to sit there and listen to me whine and complain about just pure and utter crap sometimes. He cares enough to call me back and make sure I'm ok when I leave a message on his VM that sounds like I'm crying.
You can't always have what you want in life. But sometimes you just have to learn to take things that you do have for what they're worth and look on the brighter side of those things, even if it's not as much as you want, rather than the downside.
Well every situation is different. Some friends can have sex and be perfectly fine with it. Other times it can become very awkward and ruin the friendship. It just depends on the people. Talk to her about it. You said you two are honest with each other so you should be able to openly talk about this without it becoming awkward or causing any problems. As long as she doesn't have any problems with it and there won't be any hang ups I don't see any problem with it. I understand how you feel about not wanting to try new things with someone new. It can be frustrating enough being with someone new let alone trying to "practice" with someone you don't know as well as say you would a friend or an ex.