I have gone thru it ( at age 45) and my drive has dropped. Dryness etc. It frustrates the hell out of me. I want my horniness back. I can and do have sex. Just have to use lube. But that, " I just want to fuck now!" drive is gone. It takes me a lot longer to warm up. I thought menopuase would be great. It sucks.
I did the hormones but had to go off them because it has been over five years and it is not a good thing to take them longer than that.
I have searched the net looking for ways or things to pick up my desire level.
Also I work nights and I am tired a lot. I am taking calcium and vit D eating right and in fairly good shape. I exercise when possible.
Anyone got any ideas at all how to pick up my drive or something I can take safely that is not a hormone. Why in the hell cann pharmD companies come up with Viagra but not a horney pill for women!
Could explain my partner's lack of drive....
They've tried but women's feelings of desire do not operate like men's so they are perplexed. So far, nothing they've tried has worked.
Menopause has been great! Sure lube but so what? I'm having far more fun now than before!
Sex begins and ends in your head but your working nights and being tired is having a huge effect upon your drive as well.
I recommend setting aside time for proper amounts of sleep and also setting aside time for sex - make room for it in your life. Really, just how clean does a house have to be? Decide you like sex, you love sex and you're not going to let anything get in the way of your enjoying sex.
BTW it is your testosterone that gives you desire, not estrogen. As your estrogen drops so does your testosterone rise - relative to your estrogen.
I am almost 45 and have started menopause a while ago.I still have a good desire for sex,but yes the dryness,hot flashes do get in the way.I absolutely love sex and sometimes get frustrated with my partner,rather than blame menopausal symptoms for the lack of it.He is two years older than me,and I swear that male menopause exists as he is always too tired.When we first started having sex he needed Viagra to keep erect.But I think it was just nerves as he hadn't been with anyone for a while.EEK is right,get plenty of sleep and factor into your schedule time for sex.Pamper yourself and have plenty of lube and sex toys handy.
Talk to your doctor about the possibility of testosterone. Sometimes helps; sometimes grow hair on your chest.
At the first signs of menopause, I wrote myself a prescription for Premarin. Still on it and lube has not been necessary but most of my recent contact has been with another woman. There are simple ways of getting small doses of testosterone that help many with the desire.
[QUOTE=Brandye;274426]Talk to your doctor about the possibility of testosterone. Sometimes helps; sometimes grow hair on your chest.
At the first signs of menopause, I wrote myself a prescription for Premarin. Still on it and lube has not been necessary but most of my recent contact has been with another woman. There are simple ways of getting small doses of testosterone that help many with the desire.[/QUOTE]
I was on Premarin but it had been almost 6 years. So time to come off of it.
I have read about testosterone, hair on the chest scares me. LOL but I would be willing to try it. What are the simple ways of getting small doses of it?
The dryness does not bother me so much as just the lack of drive. I can remember being so freaking turned on that I couldn't wait to fuck. I ached (sp?) for it.
I would like to try small dose testosterone.
Thanks EEK and Aphrodite.
I try to sleep when I can but it is really hard. I work 12 hour night shifts. When I am off I am up in the middle of the night most of the time. I take Ambien but even that only helps a little.
I will keep working on it. I really just want some drive back.
EEK what you said about it a lot of it being in my head I think is true. Going to start working on my thought processes as well.
Thanks to you all for your input. I love this board!
The good news is that many women simply "get over it" and most remain orgasmic (if they were) but simply lack the desire. You do need to talk to your physician. The cause could be physiological, including low testosterone, or it could be psychological. Some women, down deep, develop the idea that they are no longer women because they are not laying eggs. This is similar to some women becoming non-orgasmic after partner has vasectomy because "they are not getting all they have coming to them." Can turn into real therapy sessions!
The results with testosterone are spotty. For some women it is a godsend; others, not so much. It is available in shots, patches, salves, lozenges and pills. Step one is determining whether testosterone is the cause and, then, you and your doctor decide on the delivery method.
In fact the hairy chest is very rare.
I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you are having with menopause. This kind of scares me because my wife and I are only 28 and she has already completely lost her sex drive after having kids. It started once she became pregnant with the first, almost 5 years ago, and it didn't really improve much except for a few decide spurts. We now have two kids and you can forget any chance of me getting any. Has anyone else experienced this and does the sex drive ever come back naturally? As a man, I still have working, hungry parts down there that need stimulation. Masturbation gets old. Is there any hope?
Read around and you will find this is a commonly stated problem - usually, though not always, by men. This has nothing to do with menopause and everything to do with having kids, the seven-year-itch and you two not discussing it.
Sex is often not the problem but a symptom of deeper issues within the relationship. Time to get some help talking this through, otherwise you are on your way to a sexless marriage.
Oh trust me we have had more talks & arguments about it than I can count. The fact of the matter is her sex drive vanished & somehow her body hasn't corrected itself. She used to be kinky, horny, and DTF every day before her first pregnancy. I just want to know if anyone else has experienced this and does it get better?
The problem isn't in her body but in her policies re: sex and the relationship between you two. Professional counseling may help but what will never help is badgering her, arguing with her, and continued dancing around the truth by both of you.
"Oh trust me," Terry, I know you have had endless (meaningless) talks with her. Evil and I have each now suggested you get help with that discussion.
Yes the problem is her body and her hormones; well, 75% of the problem. Thanks for your replies. I was mainly looking to see if anyone has had the problem and if it gets better; I'm not interested in counseling right now but thanks.