Porn: Does it set improbable standards?

[mikkiji]

"Porn is great because it's a sexual fantasy you can whack off to..." Very accurate, and sometimes, lacking other outlets, it's fine solo. When I first got married 35 years ago, maybe there was porn out there, but it must have been very unavailable to the mass public. When home video began in the early 1980s, my wife and I got a couple of bootlegged videos. They were pretty stupid and boring. Then porn Pay-per-View began showing up in certain hotel rooms, and THAT really turned my wife on. She would insist we go away for a night three or four times a year (our birthdays, anniversary and Valentine's Day!) so that we could have a night of wild sex. We didn't exactly use the porn as instruction, but rather as guides--what they did on the screen, we would do ourselves. We learned what we could do and what was just for silly show--neither of us liked the 'money shots', and we figured out that she could not have me finish up oral sex in her mouth, and we discovered that (for her, at least) anal penetration was impossible, but that anal stimulation was very enjoyable. We discovered that we liked certain positions better, could last longer in other positions, and we tried a lot of new ones, some of which were stupid, but a few of which we continued to enjoy regularly. It's not like we had no imagination ourselves, it's just that after 20+ years of marriage, the videos helped us explore new things--light bondage, role-play, dress-up, toys, tickling, etc. Not weird things, but interesting stuff we may never have ventured into on our own. The porn videos also sort of upped the ante on how long we could go--and we got VERY good at multiple multiple climaxes and prolonging foreplay and intercourse over longer periods of time, which was good for us, as we'd been pretty quick and over before then.

I'm no porn actor, and she was no porn queen, but we did do porn scenes together many times and always enjoyed them, except when we'd get too tangled up and uncomfortable, and end up laughing hysterically instead of climaxing--but sex SHOULD make you laugh out loud in the end anyway, right? After she died, I believe that the relationships I had afterward benefited greatly from my porn play--I helped the first girlfriend to her first anal orgasm and first squirting climax of her life (she was in her 50s and had had dozens of lovers before me!), so I don't think I did half bad. I was never a "porn addict", but I always liked it, and usually found it to be exciting and, if sometimes boring, also often instructional in a general way.
Michael

[sania]

I am trying to understand now. What you want to say is that Porn is friom 1 to 100. Its a business. We have to identify what we want or like. And enjoy it. Okay Fine.
Okay, if I dont like some of those porns its my problem. But someone else will like it. Fine. Its like a pile of entertainment. Select what you like. Ultimately, it should spice up our life. Fine.

[Rouge]

That's exactly what we're saying, but the sarcasm wasn't necessary, and was a tad immature.

[sania]

Rouge, But why are porns in which girls are treated badly or dirty , are more in number. Like normally you come accross titles like " whores taught a lesson ", " they got what they deserved ", " fucked their brains out" etc. This makes me feel that it is one sided. There are less producers who know that we also liked to be fucked lovingly and respectfully. Senseous fucking is rarely seen in Porns. May be because this world is male domnated.!!! No NO I take back my words.

[EvilEvilKitten]

The world is male dominated because men are insecure persons - the fragile male ego - not all, of course, but assuredly most. There also has to be a reason for their lack of "success" with women and what is easier than blaming the women for certainly it couldn't be him (see fragile male ego above). So, pornography geared to themes that satisfy this segment of the market do very well and since pornographers like to sell what they make, they make more of these and around it all goes. Supply and Demand.

[sania]

Ya that's it. But arent there female producers. Are Female viewers not the customers to buy this porn. If its demand vs supply, then males are major market for this porns. isnt it. In that case , it logically proves that females are less interested in porns but they like sensous sexy softcore movies. Just to make they hot before sex.

[Rouge]

Basing the porn off the title doesn't do much. The titles are designed to pull the customer's attention. It's generally understood that porn is less than moral, and the degree of that displayed in the title is a marketing ploy. If you watch through a number of mainstream movies with such titles, the women aren't actually treated badly. There is an exception for fetish porn, but I'm assuming the thread is referring to the mainstream.

Women DO have their own porn. It's called romance novels (or trashy romance novels). Each industry is designed for a target audience. Guys are visual, women are emotional, each industry is fitted to it's target audience. Like all things, there are individuals who fall out of these categories. I generally dislike romance novels, but I do enjoy porn.

[pcwillison]

Well I'm a newcomer to this forum and to sex in many ways. I was in a marriage for 7 years where the only sex we had was in order to make babies... nothing was for fun. Its only now - six years after we divorced - that I am in a relationshp with a wonderfully sensuous woman - actually an old friend from infant school days! And having both been through similar relationship experiences we are rediscovering sex. In the six years between divorce and new gf I watched a fair amount of online porn - and discovered that alot of the 'categories' are really quite sickening to me (eg 'fisting', 'anal', 'bukkake' etc)... but there are some which are more to my taste and where the woman wasn't being used or taken advantage of... It might sound strange, but I have learnt things from porn that my partner and I have tried and loved....

[wet_suit_one]

Hey there PC.

Funny thing is some women really enjoy anal and fisting (I knew a lesbian couple who were all over fisting).

I wonder what constitutes "a woman being taken advantage of..." in your view. Is it merely because what is depicted didn't appeal to you, or is it that she didn't get paid for the scene? Or are you referring to child porn where exploitation is clearly the case?

In the other cases, how do you know she wasn't paid? If she was paid for the scene and why did she go through with it? Isn't she responsible for herself and did she not retain the ability to say no? Or do you just mean that the scene is especially "exploitative" and did not appeal to you?

Do tell...

[Rouge]

Personally, there are very few things depicted in porn that won't do. That being said, I only do things which I enjoy. Anal, fisting, facials, bondage, toys, etc, bring it on!! I have fun with all of them, and don't feel degraded at all. It's a personal thing, and many people can't handle the idea that sex can be separate from emotion and can be just for fun.