Should I be able to get oral from someone else?

[mattc]

So my wife pretty much refuses to give me head, she will from time to time but it's usually when she's drunk. On the rare occasion she does, she won't let me finish in her mouth. Should she let me find someone else to give me oral?

[llblovesejw]

Do you ever give her oral? If not, is that your choice or hers?

[mattc]

Very, very rarely! When she does it she chooses to. I asked for it once, you'd think I asked her to kill someone the way she looked at me. That was the last time I have or will ever ask for it.

[Brandye]

Many prostitutes will tell you that wives who refuse oral keep them in business!

Your call.

[llblovesejw]

It's a sad day when a woman is all-around closed off to oral sex. It's a vital part of a relationship and you need to talk to her about it.

[weasel]

i say no you are in a committed relationship and what you want to do is cheat, if you give her oral you could refuse to do it unless she does it for you, if you don't then YOU need to suck it up, if she is fine with swinging then that's a horse of a different color, but in your situation and what i know about it i believe that going to someone else for a BJ would ruin your marriage

[dlb]

Originally Posted by Brandye

Many prostitutes will tell you that wives who refuse oral keep them in business!

Your call.

Hmmm! And there are wives who will say that's what prostitutes are for!


The standard replies to this sort of question are: you have to reciprocate, you have to stay clean-bathe immediately before an oral sex session, shave your genital area, eat pineapple and cucumber and celery so you will taste better etc etc ad nauseum. It is not always the man's fault. The truth is most women do not like to perform oral sex and in most cases there is nothing you can do to change a partner who doesn't like it.

Now, mattc-some questions for you.

Is your wife open to you getting fellatio from someone else? 1)yes 2)no

If the above answer is "no" would you still go elsewhere for a BJ? 1)yes 2)no

If you answered "yes" are you able to keep the secret? 1)yes 2)no

Are you willing to expose your wife to any STDs that you might acquire from BJs on the side? 1)yes 2)no

Did a lover previous to your wife ever perform fellatio on you? 1)yes 2)no

Based on your answer to the previous question what is it that has you obsessed with fellatio?

Would you go to a prostitute for oral sex or would you look for casual encounter(s) or would you try to maintain a relationship on the side for the sole purpose of blowjobs?

After the initial thrill and possible sense of victorious revenge of getting a blow job from another woman would you 1)go back for more ?
2) you be satisfied with having received one fantastic blow job at least once in your life?

If your answer was 1) go back for more, do you think that BJs from someone besides your wife would truly fulfill you?

Are you willing to sacrifice or end your marriage over oral sex?

Notice I refrain from telling what to do. I only suggest you think about what is important to you.

[mattc]

dlb, rather than answer point by point I'm going to try to cover them all at once.

My question wasn't should I cheat, it's should she let me. I haven't asked her for this, nor am I really likely to do so. This was kind of a "for my piece of mind" question. If I were to do this, I don't think I'd go to a prostitute. I don't know where I'd find someone to do this. Swinger sites or dating sites perhaps? I don't really know and haven't given it much thought.

I have had fellatio before and greatly enjoy it. I am not obsessed, I just don't ever get it and really like it. Consider it the lobster of my sex life. I wouldn't risk STD's any more than you do with any sexual partner, in other words prostitutes are out, glory holes are out, etc.

I'm hoping that in time she'll come around, but the reality is that won't happen. At some point I'll reach my boiling point and bring it up. She'll feel like she isn't being a good wife and get down on herself. Which will make me feel like an ass. Which is why I just sit here and deal and vent to you people. My best bet is to withhold cunnilingus on her, something I do often that she greatly enjoys. But pissing her off or trying to make a point is hardly going to be good for my sex life. Winning the battle to lose the war makes no sense.

[llblovesejw]

Seriously, just tell her how much you enjoy oral sex (FROM HER) and how you wish she would do it more. Tell her you would reciprocate ten-fold.
Don't forget though, you married her because you love her (I'm assuming). Why would you over-ride that and go outside that relationship just to get a blowjob? If she's not comfortable with it (and if she's uncomfortable, ask her why), tell her it's okay.
Be a man.
Talk to your wife about your wants/needs, brother.

[dlb]

hi mattc,

I didn't expect you to answer my questions. I only suggested you consider them as you consider outside oral. IF she doesn't object to you getting it elsewhere then you only have to consider how you are willing or not to allow that to affect your marriage.

I personally would not recommend withholding oral or anything else from her. I do think that there is something not quite right in a society in which the majority of men willingly and gleefully perform cunnilingus on their female partners leading them to orgasm yet the majority of female partners if willing to perform fellatio at all just will not perform a complete blow job.

I doubt that there is any way to satisfactorily ameliorate your predicament. I am sure it is of no comfort to know that you are in the same situation as the great majority of married men.

Most of the women who share their knowledge and experience on this site apparently do not belong to the anti_BJ majority BTW.