Is Chivalry Dead?

[Ducy]

Exactly thats the kind of stuff I am talking about CL. No answering for her or ordering for her and stuff. Just respect and being a gentleman

[sera300]

Originally Posted by constantlylearning

The word chivlary evokes notions of medival times and is associated
with heroic/gallant deeds. So, the roots of this word involve valor,
protection and "knightly" qualities. I think it is incorrect to simply
determine that because someone is trying to be a gentleman that
they are showing disrespect for a lady. I do think that in different
regions of the country (speaking USA specifically) that customs are
different and actions can be construed differently. I, for one, was
raised to open door for ladies, remove your coat if a lady is cold, wait
for a lady to sit at dinner before I sit. Of course, to some that is silly
but to others who were raised and taught such it sort of goes without
thinking. So, probably better to not judge someone who thinks they are
doing or acting in a chilvarious manner. Oedi you do have some valid
points though.

What you are describing is politeness & being a gentleman. Rare find; however, such men are "findable"!

[constantlylearning]

Of course they are. I would imagine that the non-gentlemen would actually
be harder to find. Manners, kindness, respect--these are not novel concepts
and really more readily apparent than most imagine. It is really not hard to
simply do the right thing. Again, this is not trying to belittle a woman's
self-worth or make it as if she is not capable of opening her own door. It is
simply a gesture of respect on a man's part. Trying to make it something else
is simply wrong.

[terey]

Chivilary is the process of thinking about the other/partner and ensuring that thier needs as well as your own are met. Notice the word "needs" after a short talk you should be able to read the person. IE.. do you open the doors for them or will they take it as sign thier weaker than, If you invite some one to dinner, than you need to be able to pay, not that you will to either prove a point (you anit my type, your just a F@$k)

[Rayne24]

Well I know that I like nice guys, gentleman. Unfourtunately, I run into a lot of a**holes though. Women may not be the same "damsels in distress" we used to be, but nice guys score points with me. I'm sick of of the selfish jerks I meet. Long live the gentleman

[terey]

Rayne24, my daughter say as a joke about her last couple of guys, "I must be a dirty Vajaja, I keep attracting douchbags" I tell her she is taking to much a face value, try looking deeper.

[theus]

When I was growing up I noticed that many women had good guys as friends but would not date them... Yes I fell into that category for many women.. I have always been kind and respectful... I made many friendship but women didn't become interested in me until they had really been disrespected....

[Rayne24]

Terey, thanks. I guess I gotta stop fallin for the same crap lol.

Theus, I actually see where you're coming from b/c I am in that position myself. I really like his guy who wants to stay friends... Even though being mean or disrespectful may make he girls notice you, I think nice guys win in the end.

[theus]

Thanks Rayne, I agree nice guys do win out in the end.. I understood that at the time. Thats why my teenage and early adult years were pretty lonely. I spent many hours listenting to girls(friends) crying and telling me how horrible all men were... I may have made some of them happy but kind and considerate personalites like excitement.

[blackknight]

If winning in the end means getting married, then that is no real achievement as most men get married.

As theus is saying, the real test of the nice guy v the man is in the dating game in which society slightly stacks the odds in women's favour. Although the nice guy will get a look in with women who are beginning to look for a stable and faithful husband, in my experience, nice guys are just spectators in the meeting/ greeting and dating stage.

The chevaliers of medieval Europe were not nice guys. Yes, they protected the weak and sacrificed their selfish desires for the greater good but they were the armoured tanks that smashed holes into enemy lines in battle. They wore shining armour to preserve it from rust owing to the amount of blood they spilt.