Sex troubles... advice?

[xo_Misery_xo]

I started a new relationship a few weeks ago with a great guy, Ryan.. but already we're having some trouble in our sex life, or lackthereof.. The relationship I was in before this one, we were very physical and experimental. He was the perfect size, and he knew exactly what he was doing. I went from having a healthy sexual relationship to the one I'm in now. Ryan and I do well in every other aspect of our relationship, we're still in the early stages obviously and I wanted to wait to have sex because I didn't want things to be awkward if they didn't exactly work.. well let's just say that one night I couldn't help myself and we tried having sex for the first time together.

I hate to admit this, but it was horrible. And since that night, we've both explored other options, but it just doesn't seem like enough. And he says little things every now and then, comments and such, about how we "never do anything," so.. I was thinking, I really care for him and I wanted to make things work, and I wanted to see if there was a way to fix what went wrong. [[He's pretty small... so I wanted to see what I could do.]] I was having a conversation with a friend of mine about it and she brought up the topic of a hollow strap on. So I decided to get one and I brought this up to Ryan and he feels very insecure about using one. We haven't tried it yet, he doesn't feel comfortable. He says he feels replaced by it. *sighs* I don't know how to make him feel comfortable with this new idea.. I'd love to try and see if things can be better, otherwise I'm out of ideas. I'm stuck at a dead end because I know things will be difficult between us in that department. I don't want this to affect other areas in our relationship in a negative way.. I was wondering if any one has any advice, any ideas on how I can make him feel more comfortable, or more openminded about this. Anything you have to say would be very much appreciated!

Thanks,
Mis

[kpodo]

dont use the strap on. thats a deal killer. just tell him what you like and ask him what he likes. have fun with it and try new positions. the strap on will kill his self esteem

[Brandye]

Big differences in interest in sex are a huge problem in long term relationships. There are a million women who would love to not have to worry about servicing their man and there are a million men who would love to have a healthy sexual relationship. If you stay with Ryan, you two would need some real help in working this out. Sometimes the frightful unknown can be more appealing that the known almost good.

The strap-on is not a good idea.

[sera300]

I'd skip the strap on...I can understand the guy being upset! Have you really looked at how to do it differently? Have you looked at positions where his lack of size can be maximized?

[demonbuttercup]

Yea you just went all out w/ the strapon...he's right..he is being replaced!
I mean how small is small? that you suggest a "extension" of him?
I would first suggest new positions and maybe a small vibe before going extreme.

[LePuceau]

As any guy out there, I would feel really bad if my girlfriend came up to me with the strap-on and asked me to use it. What I mean is that the male's size is probably one of the worst things you can mess with. At an ealry age, young guys learn that the bigger mouthed you are by saying that your are big and such, the better other guys respect you. It's our pride and honour, at least sexually talking. If I were you, I would let that idea go and focus maybe more on pleasuring him in other ways. I must admit that I feel better while necking and kissing my partner than letting my animal instincts rage on. That's because I am more of a lover than a "Do Her"er. So that's my opinion, find out what he likes and tell him what you like and take advantage of the situation in a different manner.

Truly yours,
Le Puceau (French for "Virgin guy")

[Bint0s]

Wow, poor guy, a strap on.. wow..