29 and sexaully repressed

[Emo Pop Princess]

oh boy,i don't know where to begin.well i guess i might tell something about me. see i am 29 and really scared about the idea of porn and things of that sort.i am married and i have sex with one man and one man only but i one problem and that problem is i feel shy about watching porn or even masturbating. i mean i do but i don't let myself cum or is that aloud in this forum.even being on this forum is a little scary. i have never liked the idea of sex. i mean don't get me wrong sex is great but growing up i never liked hearing the word sex even in school i never could handle the fact that men and women have sex to have babies. my husband is great about not making fun of me but i am going to be 30 next year and i think it is time for me to come out of me shell sorta -speak.any advise for me would be welcomed and appreciated.

[LickMyGamete]

Slowly acclimate yourself to it. Joining this forum was a good start. Good job.

[Emo Pop Princess]

thanks. i really need people who understand what i am going through.

[LickMyGamete]

My wife is the same way. She's very reserved about seeing it in pics or movies and performing certain acts...however, one day out of the blue she surprised me by making a passing comment about a sex toy. We ended up buying one together, and it slowly (well, actually pretty quickly) became a staple of our sex life.

Anyway, I'm very glad she opened up enough to suggest it. I can imagine your husband would feel the same way.

In the end, that little voice making her feel uncomfortable with sex, was only holding us back.

[dancingdoc2]

> > Slowly acclimate yourself to it. Joining this forum was a good start. Good job.

I agree. Now that you have an honest interest, take some time over the next several days and read the articles listed in the Index, found at the top of the main screen. Clicking on the site's Home page will bring even more information along with illustrated animated sexual positions.

Something else you can do to help change the script in your head is to act like the person you wish to become. Like an actress learning a part and portraying it in a play or movie, act the way you wish to become. The more you behave in the new way and adopt methods and mannerisms, the easier it should become to change your attitudes and ideas.

> i feel shy about watching porn or even masturbating. i mean i do but i don't let myself cum or is that aloud in this forum.even being on this forum is a little scary.

Why and why?

Please read the article on masturbating and learn about all the benefits for doing it. In my opinion, you are not really "masturbating" if you do not bring yourself to a climax and enjoy your orgasms.

It is also important to know and understand that each of us is responsible for her/his own orgasms, we do not give them away. All any of can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them. Therefore, if you have yet to make the transition to becoming an orgasmic woman, you cannot expect that your man will "give you" orgasms. Each of us must learn how, first. Boys do so matter-of-factly right out of puberty; girls, not so much, often learning later in life if at all.

Please read around the site. There is much to learn with a lot of knowledgeable people around the world who willingly contribute their time, knowledge, and, experiences. I hope this is of help. Got questions? Please do not hesitate to ask. Knowledge is empowering.

-doc

[Emo Pop Princess]

thanks and i have actually read alot of the info on several thing i have been wondering about. actually i don't feel all that nervous about this website as i first did.i thank everyone i have talk today about my issues. when i first went looking for help getting out of my shell about porn and all of that i thought that there wasn't any help out there for a person like me and when i found this website i was surprised that there are people like me who have the some issues i do and you all haven't been nasty about it,as matter of fact i have had some nice people give me alot of good advise.thank you all of you who i have talk to.

[wet_suit_one]

In the wise words of Morpheus (yes, that Morpheus from the Matrix), "Free your mind!"

It's a very worthwhile thing to do.

Best of luck with it and be sure to alarm the horses!

[Brandye]

I was raised in the Hebrides - the most sexually repressive spot on earth. Fortunately my mother is German and I spent much time there and our family was not into the hyper-religion of the Northern Hebrides. Women can live through it and even learn to enjoy sex. You seem to have an adequate sex life and, I assume, are even orgasmic in sex.

The masturbation hang-up is clearly from "good girls do not touch themselves down there" messages." How do we ever handle menses without touching ourselves down there? Yet, many of us heard that message many times over.

Read Our Bodies Our Selves and begin to appreciate your body and its' functions. Then, get a copy of the Joy of Sex. I usually recommend that couples read it together. You read it yourself; then spring it on your husband.

I must admit that I share your dislike of modern pornography, but am not averse to it as you are. Try some sites with erotic art. They tend to present visually more subtle messages rather than the shock oriented crap clearly designed for young men.

[EvilEvilKitten]

What specifically scares you about sex?

Men? The loss of control due to the heady delights of orgasm? That you would no longer be a "good woman" if you enjoyed sex?

Or is it something else? Please explain.

BTW - I too dislike pornography. I find it boring and crass.

[Emo Pop Princess]

to be honest i really don't know why i am like this. i think when i was younger the adopted parents that i had really didn't have the "birds and the bees" talk. so i never got use to the issue until i had to listen to it in 5th grade or when ever they teach it in school. and then there was the fact when i was 16 my foster father sexaully abused me. so i really didn't get a positive out look an the subject. but i think this website and the friendly people in the forum and the info that i have read might really help get me more open to the fact that i am almost 30 and it is time that i get out of my shell.