Pros and Cons of bringing and additional female to the bedroom.

[haleybaley764]

I'm going to try and make this as short as possible. My b/f and I have been together happily for 8 years. Just recently we were discussing sexual fantasies. Mine: to bring a female into the bedroom for my pleasure...my b/f will be involved, but no sexual penetration between him and the other female. I want the focus to be on me. My b/f's fantasy happens to be the same thing (how that happened I don't know...lol) I would love some advice from couples who have experienced this and what the outcome was. Was it good...Was it bad? HELP PLEASE !!!!!!

After recieving some really good advice, I felt that I needed to re - state what I was looking for, so I can hopefully get the sound advice I am looking for.... So here it goes.... I am an attractive woman, that would like very much to experience the sensual touches and whispers of another woman, no I am not a lesbian, I am not a true bi sexual, after reading previous advice I should be classified as "Bi Curious". I would like to entertain another female in some erotic times, and my b/f would be present, this is all for me though!! If something were to happen with all 3 involved it would be done with the limits of oral.. thats it, no penetration from him with the other female.. this is my fantasy and I want it to be unbelievable, and unforgettable and satisying for me and the other female involved. I guess I really need a female that is experienced in this area to help me live out this fantasy... If there is anyone or couples out there that have experienced this, can you give me some pros and cons for this scenario?... HELP PLEASE!!..

[EvilEvilKitten]

Am not bisexual but have participated in more than a few non-bi threesomes and ALL of them have been a BLAST! Great fun! But that might be because I rule and there's never any question about it. Yes, during FMF, he did and does get to penetrate the other woman; why not since during MFM I get to enjoy both men - fair is fair after all. Anyway I do have some recommendations to make this easier for you.

Lay out the ground rules first.
Contact you local Swing/Lifestyle group for experienced third persons.
Do not use your current friends/coworkers/etc.
Hunt togther -you both have to agree on this particular third persons's presence.
Do not expect to be entirely successful your first time out but keep communicating.

[haleybaley764]

Thank you so much for the advice EvilEvilKitten It really does make sense. Like you...I am not bisexual, but would like to experience what it would be like. Do you think it is wrong of me to not want my b/f and the other woman to have intercourse?

[Brandye]

Let us see, now, you want "to bring a female into the bedroom for my pleasure," but "I am not bisexual."

As an active bisexual, of some decades, that is difficult to accept. Whatever you two decide upon is fine, but face an ineluctable fact: you are describing lesbian desire.

Then follow BadCat's advice.

[smoothwaitress]

We have been involved in several all were great. Set your ground rules before hand. The tough part can be finding a willing female. I don't advise asking a friend or a co worker. In our case my wife is bi-sexal and has a steady gf.

[EvilEvilKitten]

If you're bi-curious, it is FAR BETTER to pursue that alone with your husband's permission. You two still have to follow ALL of the same steps below.

[maxjunk]

Umm, can't really help you. Sorry.
I've only done one 3sum with my gf and another guy.

[Rouge]

Originally Posted by maxjunk

Umm, can't really help you. Sorry.
I've only done one 3sum with my gf and another guy.

What's the point of posting if you have no insight?

In all honesty, you should be ready for him to penetrate said other woman if he is present. It's only fair to him and you. The reason I say this is you are clearly still in a mind frame in which jealousy can be aroused. Any sexual contact between him and another woman will cast doubts, and frankly I'm sure that there aren't many women who are up for sucking with no sex afterwards. Don't make this decision lightly, as it's not for everyone.

Another option would be to have him present as a viewer, but not in physical range of you two (sitting in a chair, etc). This way you don't cross his boundaries, but you don't have to worry about the jealousy issues associated with him being an active member.

You may want to start with another couple, and not switch partners, as this will get you used to the idea of another person watching/being present. There won't be the jealousy associated with another woman to the same extent as she'll have her own partner. There are plenty of couples out there with a bi-female in them, and I'm sure you can have fun this way as well.

[EvilEvilKitten]

PLEASE - contact your local Swing/Lifstyle group. Theycan prvide you with more immediate and helpfu guidance.