What should I do?

Infamous Ob · #1 (**permalink**) 11-19-2009, 01:55 PM

I'm going through a situation w/my Wife right now. I told her that we shouldn't play games in our marriage because they can become very bad habits. I'm talking about constantly throwing the "D-word" around, threathning to get the paperwork, etc., we're going to leave each other... just drama. So I told her that she has until Thursday midnight to see me in person and give me an answer on whether she wants to stay w/me, or what she wants to do. We're in Korea, and it's 5:50am Friday right now. She called me a 5:28am, and woke me up. now keep in mind i had already told myself i wasn't going to answer the phone if I didn't have an answer by last night, midnight, but I answered anyway, which shows her 2 things: 1, Im not standing my ground about what I said, and 2, room to keep playing. So Im thinking I should ignore her calls until she comes home with my answer first.

Brandye · #2 (**permalink**) 11-19-2009, 02:01 PM

You two should see one of two people:

1. A counselor
2. An attorney.

It really does not sound like it makes much difference which.

Infamous Ob · #3 (**permalink**) 11-19-2009, 02:07 PM

We're already seeing a counselor. Every week actually. And then this morning, we we're talking, and I said: "Don''t forget about what I said, I need an answer before we can continue...", she got upset and said that I was "bugging her about it." I told her that it's too serious to play, and that was that. So now I'm thinking I wont answer anymore phone calls until I get my in person answer to insure she's taking our marriage serious enough that she'll come home and talk to me like an adult. And to let her know that this is going nowhere fast, it's a bad deal all around...

ClosetFreak · #4 (**permalink**) 11-19-2009, 02:31 PM

Some people have trouble talking face to face. I've been married 13 years and my wife still prefers to write a letter on the stuff that's really bugging her. I don't necessarily disagree with asking for a definitive answer but maybe she can't "say" what she wants/needs to be said. Try other forms of communication.

JMO

dancingdoc2 · #5 (**permalink**) 11-19-2009, 04:05 PM

It sounds to me like her non-answer is your answer.

#2 it is.

Infamous Ob · #6 (**permalink**) 11-19-2009, 07:27 PM

She called me this morning, and I told her, that I wasn't going to to talk to her anymore until I got my answer. She said "Your dumb! Whatever..." I said alright then and we hung up...