Want to rock her world

[EvolvingM]

Hi all,

I came across this site a few days ago, and have been checking out alot of it. It contains alot of good information and interesting material

Before I get too far into it, a bit about me. I'm in my early 30's, married, just getting our lives started over again after a short *pause*. I've been with the same woman for several years, and have been having sex with her for almost the same amount of time. However, as time has gone on, I find there is less sex between us now.

I'm by no means above average in sex...I'm between 6.5 and 7 inches in length, normal girth, and I've been able to last for a decent amount of time...most times. Other times the sessions have been as short as 4-5 minutes (quite ashamed of that too). I'm hoping to make improvements in areas that can be improved, for her sake and my own.

Since marriage my wife and I have stopped using condoms, but she remains on birth control pills. We're not trying to start a family right now, but if it happens so be it. I'm more against it than she is...during sex she's insisted I stay inside her when I cum, but I haven't done that yet. I pull out before I reach that point.

Long winded...sorry...my point is, over the last year I've noticed my stamina during sex has decreased. I think this has affected my sexual relationship with my wife as she is not as overly interested in sex with me nowadays. We have had plently of opportunity to enjoy each other but mostly my advances are snubbed or we just don't bother at all (for example, out of a month, we'll have sex maybe once). This has left me primarily unsatisfied (her as well I'm sure) and I've turned to alternate sexual stimuli to make up for it.

I'm hoping that I can learn some new things here to revive the sexlife we previously had, and make it better. Comments and discussion are welcome. I'm willing to provide additional details to those interested in discussion.

Glad to be part of the crowd, looking forward to future conversations.

[nuttychick]

Welcome you will find alot of great ideas and tips... do a search for body worship and the program.. I can assure you it is amazing

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you continue to enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about.

I am off to work and will address each of your comments later tonight, in the meantime, go to the Index and read each of the articles, beginning with "The Program" and the other articles by EEK. Knowledge is empowering and I think you will find a lot of information that will be helpful.

Til later.
-doc

[Brandye]

The male sexual capacity peaks at about 18 and goes downhill from there. That is one immutable factor of aging. A second is that ten years in, most marriages have hit a stale plateau in the sex department. Your use of stamina is not completely understood. If you mean how long you last, that is one thing; recovery time and repeat performance is quite another. Simply having sex so infrequently will shorten the time you last in her.

Very few women in stable, monogamous relationships use anything in addition to the pill. Of 100 women having sex regularly whilst on the pill, properly taken, three will become pregnant. A little extra care on time the pill is taken and watching for interactions with drugs (especially anti-biotics) and dietary supplements will improve this to about 1 in 100. Most women are comfortable with those odds. Withdrawal is not making much difference in the odds of pregnancy.

There is a psychological effect some women report that we are being short-changed when we do not get all that is coming to us (pun intended). In other words, your wife may simply want your semen inside her as a symbolic issue. Receiving that spoonful is part of the evolutionary design of the female body and many of us enjoy fulfilling that biological imperative to get it. I, personally, do not like the following dripping but feel greatly satisfied and at peace when I know I have just got sperm swimming inside me. That is a major factor in my remaining bi- rather than being completely lesbian.

The typical time reported by women for how long their last sex lasted was between three and thirteen minutes. You are right in there. If your wife is brought off first, your time in her really does not matter.

I suggest you look at some of EvilKitten's stickies on the program, learn really good cunnilingus and let it fly inside her. I also suggest a good long talk when sex is not in the air. Whilst sex may seem the problem, it is more often a symptom of other issues in the relationship.

[Massdebator]

I'm a little out my element here, and the pros have already replied with more than I could've offered anyway. I still felt I needed to comment on one thing, however: I LOVE your choice of avatar. Arthur the Moth brings back a lot of wacky memories.

I do think that with less reluctance to not withdraw and some proper body worship, you'd be taking your first steps to a more satisfying sex life as a couple. I am interested to see where this discussion goes, and I hope for the best for you and your wife!

[EvilEvilKitten]

There are a few other items to address: You're in your 30's, I will presume your wife is younger since that seems to be the way of things. If you two are going to have a family - kids, dogs, white picket fence - do it now rather than later.

Why?

Simple biology. Women hit their breeding prime in their 20's and don't leave it until their 40's. This is when most women badger their husbands on the child issue. Men do not get 'baby fever' until they're in their 50's. Now think about this - if he's 50 that makes her what 40 to 50 usually, right? When it is NOT a good idea for her to have kids due to lower quality of her eggs and his sperm. Can you say birth defects, miscarriages, infertility, menopause, andropause? Sure you can. In addition: there is having the psychological flexibility and the emotional stamina required when dealing with kids to consider. Younger adults simply handle it better.

Seriously, reconsider your "no kids yet" position because there really isn't any better time to have them.

Assuming your marriage is stable. If it isn't, that's another kettle of fish.

The second item is the effect of your 'withholding' on your wife. Some women feel that sex is not just for fun but has a more serious purpose. You can jazz up your sex life all you want but if she feels that a significant part of her life is being ignored, she may begin feeling something other than eagerness when it comes to sex.

You two have got to discuss these things when NOT in the bedroom.

[Brandye]

Good point about kids, BadCat.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Well, biology is like gravity - doesn't matter how much you like or dislike it - it just is.
Wait until he hits forty and finds out the other dirty trick nature's played on him.

[EvolvingM]

I appreciate all the feedback I've gotten thusfar. Some very good advice and food for thought. I will point out that (1) yes EEK, my wife is a little younger than I am, but only by 2 years (2) I do not feel that I am 'withholding' out on my wife....at our current stage in life starting a family would be a bad idea (finacial situation and such)...we have discussed that and we both feel the same way on it (3) our situation is improving and starting a family is on the horizon (4) our relationship does not have any other issues...at least as far as I am aware.

But again, I appreciate the input of everyone so far. I will be checking out the Program, info on Body Worship...and yes, I will talk to my wife to try and overcome this issue.

If there is any more feedback/comments/observations/ideas anyone has to offer, I would welcome them.

[Brandye]

"..... at least as far as I am aware." I can assure you that there are some issues.