reason doesn't make sense.

[2little]

i have been dealing with my husbands porn for 4 years. everytime i catch him its hurts so much (since i have made some for him)

i caught him this week. AGAIN.... but his excuss this time was there isn't enough foreplay between us. could this be true or is he hiding something?

[Cool]

"It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home" with that said. Do you feel that foreplay is somethinging that is lacking in your marriage? Porn, stripp clubs, and magazs are a form of foreplay. It like music and soft lighting. It sets the mood for sex.

Now there is a thin line between addiction and hobby. Watch some porn with him. This way you can see if it's a good foreplay for the both of you. If he have a prob or is turn-off then it might be an addiction and the two of you should see someone. If not try to be a part of it.


Sidenote: I don't kno you but men like it when a woman makes a movie for them so don't be hurt that he not watching the movies. It's like a fav Cd you listen to all day everyday for weeks. Then one day you put it aside because you what to listen to something new. But then one day you see the cd, pop it in, and you back listen to it for weeks.

[dancingdoc2]

Masturbation is only a problem if it is done to excess and interferes with a person's daily life, obligations, work, tasks, etc. The same can be said for watching porn. If done to excess it is likely to be a problem. If it is a casual interest, then no harm no foul. Done infrequently or in moderation it is another form of fantasizing. Fantacies are not harmful except in the extreme and then acted upon. If your man is being stimulated, fine. If he is complaining about your love life, then the two of you should sit down together at a time when you are not planning a romantic encounter and discuss what changes need to be made, what new activities can be incorporated, etc.

As for "foreplay", learn what this means. Please read this article for more on what I mean:

FOREPLAY: The Prequel and Sequel

There are several articles listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen that discuss the how-to's of making out as well as actual foreplay. I recommend the two of you read them, including EEK's articles on "The Program", etc., and then discuss what you have learned. Making love is a partnership, it is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with an for each other. Explore and learn together.

I think what you may need is more information and more technique.

[EvilEvilKitten]

STOP IT.

This moaning over his pornography is the same as a man bitching about your romance novels.

This is fantasy escapism and has NOTHING to do with his committment to you. You aren't going to ditch him over that lovely hero from your latest romance are you? Of course not! So what are you complaining about??? He knows you are the best thing that ever happened to him and he's not about to ditch you for the latest porn star.

The problem here isn't him, dear, it is you.
You're being jealous of something that isn't real.

Stop it.

Instead of complaining - do The Program and blow his doors off sexually speaking. That should give him enough foreplay. LOL

[2little]

i don't read romance novels EvilEvilKitten, i find they aren't real i like things real and in person.

now i understand its just something men do. i know that. but when he doesn't want to have sex with you for four months because he is getting his 'need' else where i think that is a problem.

i have tried to watch the videos with him, but he doesn't want to. he will not watch them with me.

and just a fast note, i have had my share of men prior to meeting my husband (call me a slut if you want to, i was always safe) I have never had any complaints. infact after 6 years there are 3 of them that still ask me why i had to get married cause they wanted me to themselfs.
i am not trying to blow my own horn but sex is one thing that i know, but with my husband and his i just don't know how to deal with it.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Have you run him by the doctors yet?

There's something very wrong with him.
Desiring fantasy over reality is a sign that he's just not right.

[2little]

thanks ha ha i understand that fully. thats my issue.

i have never said no to anything he request. but when i suggests something its not right, or not what he imagins. i have asked him what he wants. but he just doesn't reply. he wasen't like this until 4 years about. i met him 6 years ago. things have changed and to be honest i don't think i can handle the change. we have issues in our marriage i will admit, i have suggested a marriage counsler but he doesn't think we need it. like oh my god i am so confused. i believe marriage is for life, i feel any problem a couple can work through. it just takes time. but any way i can think about how to fix it. just doesn't work for him

[dlb]

It might be that he is not getting enough foreplay. There is more to foreplay than cuddling and kissing, maybe touching his penis with your hand or mouth. The men that I know who have pornography obsessions are not getting what they want out of real life sex. YOu might try looking at some with him and trying to learn what it is allures him-so you can be the alluring one.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Okay so HE's not working on solving this issue.
Sorry but you are going ot have to reconsider your position on divorce.

Either that or you're going to have to use some really nasty tactics to wake this boy up.

BTW what changed 4 years/months ago?

[2little]

evilevilkitten.
4 yrs ago we bought our house.