Snooping

[EvilEvilKitten]

Those who snoop are cowards. If you have a question - ask.
If you cannot ask, then you really do not want or need to know the answer.

Think this through.

Why are you doing this?
What do you fear?
Is this a relationship or a prison?

For the truth is that you do not trust and where you do not trust you cannot love so why haven't you left yet?

Snooping debases. There is no excuse for it either. If your question is so important that you're driven to roll around in the gutter like some slimy worm - you'd better ASK the question instead of snooping because you're going to need all the moral high ground you can get.

You are also saying that you are unworthy. How so? Who snooped, or felt the need to snoop, on whom? If you thought it was him/her and you snooped then you just proved yourself to be the unworthy one. Not him/her.

Even assuming so-and-so has been dishonest in the past, still, ASK don't snoop. You are the one who gave him/her the second chance. Why? By doing so you validated his/her previous behavior.

Those currently promoting this snooping believe that it is a way of opening the discussion. Well, you can do that just by asking. Confronting him/her with the results of your snooping only leads to recriminations, defensiveness, tit-for-tat, and down the spiral we go!

There really is no up-side to this snooping.

Feeding weaknesses never works to build strong loveing relationships. The urge to snoop is a weakness.

[dlb]

I don't know what brought that on EvilEvilKitten, but I agree with 1000% on this one.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Ian Kerner wrote why we should snoop in his column for MSN today.
The man just hasn't thought this through.

[Pic]

EvilEvilKitten love you for this!!!! I've felt this way forever snooping is so detestable its not funny, just ask but don't snoop. UHHHHHH!!!!!! I'm in agreement 100% percent.

[Cool]

Snooping is a weak person way of asking a question that he/she knows the anwser to. However, i'm gonna play devil advocate:
Snooping usually comes from one person being lied to by their partner. Lying is a weak ass person way of denying who or what they are, they're ashame. And if your ass is ashame your ass need to stay home, but they don't. Now, to make sure the person isn't lying his/her partner snoops a little. Sometimes people six sense kick in and snooping is the only to satisfied that feeling.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Yes and they lie for several reasons but it is a defense so ask yourself why is he/she being defensive?

1. not wanting to hurt their partner
2. not wanting to 'publicly' acknowledge error
3. survival mode - not wanting to be punished

All perfectly understandable.

However, that still DOES NOT excuse snooping. The answer remains the same regardless of why you stooped to snooping.

If you don't trust, you don't love so why are you still with him/her???

[Cool]

Love is blind EEK and people do stupid things is just one of those things. I agree with you alllllllllllllllll the way about talking to your man/woman and don't snoop.



Sidenote: Schools must be given Ph.D away becasue Ian Kerner is crazy. His last two articles are BS....in a bag..... on a hot summer day.

[EvilEvilKitten]

No Love is NOT blind but INFATUATION is.
Haven't you been reading my articles?

[Cool]

Slowly but surely

[KissMeHard]

I agree with you on this one. Snooping is the sign for insecurity and cowardice. If you have a problem or question ask. The other side of this is when the other person lies about the subject. This is one of my peeves as I think that honesty is important in any relationship. This only shows weakness and insecurites in the relationship as a whole. Definitely not a good thing in my view.