Why Is He Doing This To Me?

[wet_suit_one]

Originally Posted by Rouge

Everyone's covered this quite well. All I can add is this: Yes, it will be hard to find a nice, loving guy. Keep in mind where you look for guys (if you look in a bar, you'll likely find problems), and that for every great guy there's 6 assholes. Persevere and don't take less than you deserve, and soon what you really ned will come along; a caring, compassionate guy.

So you're saying only 1 in 7 guys is a nice guy

Is our batting average really THAT bad?

Total thread hijack here, but jeez, that's ridiculous!

[EvilEvilKitten]

WSO - actually MOST men are decent people if given a reasonable chance. The problem comes when HER issues come up against HIS issues. You are no doubt aware that even without issues men and women have compatiblity problems so adding in both sets of issues complicates the matter exponantially and leads to such things as that 1 in 7 statistic.

'Nice' means different things across cultural, gender, age, and socioeconomic boundaries. No two people share quite the same definition.

It is a crazy world, WSO!

[MissCarmen]

Originally Posted by lnt1103

I absolutely agree. Anyone who would actually SAY TO YOUR FACE that they can get someone better without any effort, GO FOR IT BUDDY. Good riddance. Don't let the door hit you in the @$$ on your way out of my life. In fact, here's 5 bucks, buy her a drink on me. With you around, she's gonna need it.

lol, yeah you are so right.

[Rouge]

Originally Posted by wet_suit_one

So you're saying only 1 in 7 guys is a nice guy

Is our batting average really THAT bad?

Total thread hijack here, but jeez, that's ridiculous!

Not literally :P. It seems that women are attracted to assholes, so she's likely going to run into a number of them before she finds a nice guy!

As my bf says; "treat them like crap, they keep coming back!" (he doesn't actually believe this, but he' noticed that it can be very true)

[MissCarmen]

I havent talked to him or seen him in over a week. It hurts so bad. I broke down and called him last night. we talked for a little while. i know our relationship has so much hurt in it but i miss him so. it hurts so bad/

[Rouge]

It's only going to hurt worse if you do this type of thing. Get the hurt over with now, and you'll be ok.

I know it seems like all you want is him right now, but soon you'll start to realize that he wasn't good for you. Stop thinking of him in your head in any kind of fond light; you have to think of this objectively. "I love the way he looks BUT he was doing this to me.."

[MissCarmen]

Originally Posted by Rouge

It's only going to hurt worse if you do this type of thing. Get the hurt over with now, and you'll be ok.

I know it seems like all you want is him right now, but soon you'll start to realize that he wasn't good for you. Stop thinking of him in your head in any kind of fond light; you have to think of this objectively. "I love the way he looks BUT he was doing this to me.."

Okay, I will think like this.

[lnt1103]

No one's saying it's going to be simple or fast to get over him, hun. Hurting and needing time are natural parts of it. It sucks, but it is what it is.

But you have to be stronger than the hurt. This is about self-preservation now. This is about standing up, demanding what you deserve, and not settling for any less. Trust me, it's worth a little 'getting over him pain' now, in order to avoid the pain he'd have caused you for the rest of your life.

Friendship, respect and love, all rolled into The One that you deserve, is out there somewhere. He exists, but not in this guy. And you have to be willing to hold out for it. You have to be willing to say, 'sure this would have been familiar and simple (although would it really) and I wouldn't have to end up 'out there' again, but it's not good enough for me. Familiarity be damned. I deserve better and by God I'm going to get it.'

[Rouge]

Originally Posted by lnt1103

Friendship, respect and love, all rolled into The One that you deserve, is out there somewhere.

It's true! Take it from someone whose found it

[EvilEvilKitten]

Excuse me - but love, respect, friendship, and so forth is out there EVERYWHERE. All you need is self-respect; like yourself; and have confidence both in your own judgment and in your ability to deal effectively with the consequences of your decisions.

You get all of that by MAKING decisions and dealing with the consequences.

Do NOT stay with a lout just to 'have a man in your life' - PFFFT! Not worth the pain and aggravation and besides there are many men out there and one will be along in just another few minutes so there's no need to hang onto this bastard.

Never again wear your heart on your sleeve where some nasty man can grab it away from you. Make damn sure before you give it to him that you can trust him to take good care of it.

No more Miss Patsy!

(from one who has also found it - many times over!)