Cant last/Cant please

[stillNEW2osex]

I have been with my girlfriend for a year now, and we have been sexually active since we began dating. We have been having great sex for a long time, but this past week, I felt I could not perform as well as I have. We dont get a lot of privacy because we both live at home, and so we make the best of what little privacy we do get.

So, this past week, when we were going at it, I came only after a few short minutes. Of course, she was disappoited, but after a couple of minutes we got at it again, and I managed to please her this time, but rather then pleasing her two or three times, I could only please her once before cumming again.

Ive always been worried that I cant please her properly because I lost my virginity to her, so I dont have a lot of experience other then what I have done with her, whereas she has had several other partners. So, is there anything that I can do to ensure I dont cum pre-maturely again? And are there any tips out there that can help m ensure I am pleasing her properly?

Any help is greatly appreciated!

[lnt1103]

Your best tips for pleasing her will come from her. This is where her previous experiences can actually benefit you--she knows some things that work with her and she can tell you and/or show you. This is where you'll need to get your brain around the concept of the men from the past. Don't let that put pressure on you as some men do. Consider it good information that you can use to tweak your own technique.

[EvilEvilKitten]

You should be grateful to those other men actually, they taught her a lot, they dealt with her beginner's uncertainties, and so on and then she came to you.

Now then - you do not give orgasms, you merely assist her to give them to herself. We are each responsible for our own.

You are not a machine. You should not expect to behave like a machine - push button, plang. Men do not work like that and neither do women.

Relax and enjoy.

[bWg]

Don't let it get into your head mate. If you have full confidence that you're going to rock her world, you will.

[dancingdoc2]

Possibly, although, not necessarily. There are lots of accounts posted on the site about guys who have plenty of enthusiasm yet lack skills and knowledge, I rather doubt these fellas well intended or not rock any girls world.

[bWg]

I suppose you would have to have some knowledge of what you're doing. So yeah, enthusiasm isn't everything. Good point doc

[dancingdoc2]

> Ive always been worried that I cant please her properly because I lost my virginity to her, so I dont have a lot of experience other then what I have done with her, whereas she has had several other partners.

Please read this article listed with many others in the Index:
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:

Who you lost your virginity to does not much matter. What matters is what you do next, that being the acquisition of knowledge and skills, as noted in my first reply. So, familiarize yourself with the articles in the Index and begin reading. After reading, begin puting the information into practice in order to begin building skills.

> I came only after a few short minutes. Of course, she was disappoited, but after a couple of minutes we got at it again, and I managed to please her this time, but rather then pleasing her two or three times, I could only please her once before cumming again.

Do you know for a fact she was disappointed? Did she express disappointment, or, do you just think she was because things did not go as you had hoped?

There is nothing in the "instructions" that says making love has to end with your first orgasm. Couples frequently make love for an hour or two or more and have several orgasms during this period.

If you climax before intending to, just continue making out while waiting for your recovery (refractory) period to end and then work up another orgasm. If you read around the site, you will find that it is not uncommon to recommend that a guy have a climax somewhere in the middle of the proceedings in order to temper or slow down his progress toward arousal.

> So, is there anything that I can do to ensure I dont cum pre-maturely again?

Please read this article:
Squeeze & Training Exercise for Controlling Premature Ejaculation

> And are there any tips out there that can help m ensure I am pleasing her properly?

Begin reading the articles listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen. In fact, why not suggest to your girlfriend that she read them, also, whether together or separately, then discuss what you have learned.

Some important things to keep in mind are that making love is not what we do to each other; rather, it is what we do with and for each other; second, explore and learn together; third, give each other feedback (verbal and/or non-verbal) on how you are responding to each others caresses and for what you need now/next.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[stillNEW2osex]

I must thankyou all. I believe I just let my imagination get to me. I spent quite a bit of time on the website, looking through the indez and other forums, and before I knew it, I was back in bed with her and having a great time. Because it was my first time not doing as well as I would have liked to, I think I just over reacted.
All the same, if I did not, I would not have found this wonderful site. Thanks alot for your advice and the links. My girlfriend thanks you too

[dancingdoc2]

You're welcome.

This is why we are here--to pay it forward. Please do not go away. Keep us in mind for your next question or concern, in fact, just continue to read and glean even more knowledge.

-doc

[stillNEW2osex]

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

You're welcome.

This is why we are here--to pay it forward. Please do not go away. Keep us in mind for your next question or concern, in fact, just continue to read and glean even more knowledge.

-doc

Dont worry Doc, I dont plan on going anywhere anytime soon!