Marriage, No?

[YHeloThar]

I agree leave him but I don't think EvilKitty is the best person to take advice from in terms of relationships with youngish guys if you are a normal woman that isn't a sex goddess like herself.

You need to accept that most men demand absolute loyalty, you should also expect it from him. I dunno where this "so you slept with someone else because you felt like it, if he was a man he would be fine with it" comes from. Evolution wise he'd actually be significantly less of a man.

Anyways though, this guy is being manipulative and he is addicted to it, you will not be able to change him and any feelings that you think he has towards you (even if there is still love) are just a handcuff. You need to move on.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Yes, they demand absolute loyalty because they cannot compete, are insecure, and are therefore, losers and not worth your time.

Man or mouse, baby!

Loyalty, like respect, has to be EARNED.

BTW married to the same wonderful man for 30 years and counting and I have a wide social circle, so, yes, I do know about relationships.

[openfrontier03]

If he doesn't talk about marriage anymore or is talking about not trusting women then I don't believe your going to have that with him. If you are wanting to get married & have kids then you may want to start looking for another relationship. Its good to see this side of him now instead of down the road when he all of a sudden has regrets about getting married. Its even worse when their are children involved. Because its better that he's doing this now because u can move on & find someone who won't do this to you in the future.

[Wrave]

Here is a good way to look at it. Just because you are in a long relationship doesn't mean you HAVE to marry that person. Relationships can last forever and those individuals never once stepped foot in a chapel. Look at Gene Simmons. Him and his girlfriend have been together for almost 20 years and they have 2 children and have no intentions of tying the knot.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Wrave - which is stupid considering the benefits of marriage versus just living together but hey some people are. After 20 years, depending up which state they live in, they could 'common-law' married.

[Buck Naked]

Originally Posted by Wrave

Here is a good way to look at it. Just because you are in a long relationship doesn't mean you HAVE to marry that person. Relationships can last forever and those individuals never once stepped foot in a chapel. Look at Gene Simmons. Him and his girlfriend have been together for almost 20 years and they have 2 children and have no intentions of tying the knot.

They also have agreed to an open relationship and that is the exception, not the rule. Most women would leave a man that brags about sleeping with 2500 other women, or whatever number he's up to now. Kitten is right, after 20 years they are Common Law in every state unless something was signed a couple of decades ago, and even then it probably wouldn't stand up.

I find these long relationships without getting married a little stupid because you need to go through the same crap to end it, but you didn't get the haul of presents when you get married. I had a very small wedding and we were set up nicely to start our lives together. The money and stuff aren't the reason I married my wife. I would've went down to the Justice of the Peace and did the same thing. In my opinion, if you are going to commit to someone for a lifetime, the presents are a pretty nice add on to an already fantastic day.

[EvilEvilKitten]

You don't marry for the presents of course - but the IRS tax breaks, the ability to inherit without taxation and the ability to see visit and make decisions for one's spouse when in the hospital - all of those little things do matter.

[YHeloThar]

I can't remember if the guy said he would never marry at all or what.

But nowadays, other than the tax advantages of being married and related allowances, for a man in particular, getting married might be a bad idea. You're harshly on the hook for a lot of your money as a man afterwards and your future earnings as well.

Really today marriage to most women is just a party that they have looked forward to throwing all their lives (wedding) and a bit of a security blanket on the relationship. For men none of these positives really apply so much and if it goes wrong it can really wreck his life.

[EvilEvilKitten]

YHelo - yep! Until... he hits his mid-life and suddenly realises there's nothing and no one who gives a damn about him and no one who would miss him if he were gone. Meanwhile, all of his buddies are now married with kids and have left him behind along with the other 'also rans' in the bar scene trying to pick-up 20-something's who think he's creepy.

Yeah - fun city, baby!

Seriously, very few single persons are living the rich full fun life you imagine and not all marriages are made in Hell.