Higher Sex Drive Than My Wife

[G0ODOLBOY]

Hi there!

I'm married a little over three years. My wife and I talk very openly about sex and our individual desires. We each even have our "top 5" list (if you ever saw that "Friends" episode). 5 people, most likely celebrities, whom if you ever actually had a shot with, your partner can't say anything to protest a one-night stand. The catch is, it can't be someone you could plausibly hook. For instance Shania Twain and Jessica Simpson are both on my list.

Anyway, my dilemma lies with the fact that I could have sex 6 times a day if she was willing. As a matter of fact, she had sex with me 9 times in one weekend in hopes that it would calm me down a bit. It did...for about 3 days.

Although we haven't officially discussed it, I assume she knows I masturbate in as much as its a well-known fact that all guys masturbate...and she's not an idiot. I will say, however, that unlike what I'm sure most guys do...I masturbate to my favorite picture of her. She looks so fantastically beautiful and sexy in this particular photo that I can get off just looking at it.

Today, I visited one of the sponsor websites for this page. It was a site for masturbation toys. Now, as open as we are about discussion about intercourse, I fear that if I bring up a desire to buy a sex toy to use when she's not around or not in the mood, she will feel inadequate. But for three reasons (1. Honesty 2. It will show up on the credit card bill 3. The item I have in mind would be nearly impossible to hide lol) I feel I have to ask her first. The thing is, I want to buy this item to take the pressure off her. Not insult her. The way I see it, if I can orgasm more often, then our quality time together could be just that. Quality.

So guys, how would you approach the subject? Or would you just keep doing it the old fashioned way?

Ladies, what would be the best way to approach you about this, and how would the request make you feel?

Thanks!

[wet_suit_one]

I would tell her you masturbate to her picture. Depending on your discussions, she'll think you're a bit weird, but she'll like it (on balance). As for the whole toy thing... Ummm... Leave a catalogue out on the coffee table maybe, with a post it asking what strikes your fancy?

I dunno...

Probably don't buy the biggest hugest dildo you can possibly find and leave it on the table for her to find at breakfast... Not cool that one...

[Brandye]

You want six times a day. She wants ...... ? Look around and you will find differential libido has been discussed several times. Your situation of the male wanting more is the more common. Healthy relationships are based on reaching a mutually satisfactory solution.

I am not into toys and cannot comment on that dimension. I do believe that men need be more aware of sexual desires of their partners and women need be more attendant to the sexual NEEDS of their partners.

And, nine times in one weekend is no big deal. Many of us have had those sex marathons. A partner and I used two dozen condoms one weekend in my younger days. I could neither sit nor stand comfortably for a week.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Actually, if you discussed this purchase with her, you might find that you may not need to buy it at all.

But the red flags signalling trouble ahead are flying - you have only been married for 3 years and the differences in libido are already surfacing?!?!?

I know what Brandye says is true - most men desire more sex than their wives and I find this very odd since I also know that any woman, even a wife, can easily outgun any six men you'd care to name - if she has embraced her sexuality.
In the absence of stress, ill health, or some other issue.

Perhaps that is what you should be discussing?

[afrofaya]

Hey

Am certain it is not strange that men want it more than women but whether masturbation helps am in doubt. A toy may not help matters either because it would be suggesting to her that you have alternatives (women don't like that).

I'd go for exploration of other satisfying stuff you can both participate. And by the way, you can masturbate each other. Working together is best in all cases.

Good Luck,

[EvilEvilKitten]

LOL at the idea that women do not like their men to have alternatives - when for centuries women have looked the other way, thought boys are boys; etc. Actually alternative lifestyle exist only because women permit tham to exist.