Stress Making Sex Difficult!

[samsonmary]

I am planning my wedding and my parents disapprove of who I am marrying. They tend to disapprove of most things I do, so I can't say I was surprised! However, the stress of hearing from them has caused me to drop 2 dress sizes (I have to get my gown taken in ) and has taken a serious toll on my sex life! My fiance is a great man and he doesn't complain, but I know it hurts him because he thinks I don't enjoy it anymore! I wish I had some way to block out my mother's voice during the day so I could focus....it is making it hard to have a healthy relationship. For example, he and I used to have sex at least once a day and then fall asleep and wake up holding each other (corny, I know, but we did it!) Now, neither one of us feels affectionate because my family has been insulting both of us so drastically that it is often hard to get motivated for anything. I know that they are just trying to ruin the relationship, and I don't want them to succeed. I miss my relationship with my fiance. How can I go about getting it back?

[Brandye]

The simple answer is to move away from her. That may not be possible but you are likely correct she is trying to end the plans. More than one mother has destroyed a marriage. Most women would be happy to drop two dress sizes in preparation for the big day!

Telling your mother straight that she is causing herself to lose a daughter rather than gaining a son is the most honest approach. Else it will get worse before she accepts the inevitable. And then think of your sex as the only time of day that you are not having to listen to her. If she barges in on that, then do move out.

Reduce the contact as much as possible and look for the first chance to move as far away as possible.

[dancingdoc2]

Brandye offers sage advice for how to live life up to the wedding. As for the ceremony---

ELOPE.

Now, having said this and that, are you absolutely certain that your family do not see something about the relationship that you are blind to? Have you asked yourself--or them, what they do not like about him, or have you just taken the defensive without knowing the other side of the debate? Food for thought.

As for starting a marriage, please read this article:

I think we are ready to live together!!
We frequently hear about people living together who later find that one, the other, or both are not happy living together. Similarly, we frequently read a post in which a couple is contemplating moving in together and looking for a suitable residence. Here is an initial Check List.

[mikkiji]

My in-laws were the same way to me--they HATED me and threatened to disown my future wife if we actually went thru with the wedding--which they were NOT going to pay for anyway. So, we did elope, we just ran away as soon as we turned 21 and never looked back. That was 35 years ago. We kept our marriage secret from them for over 2 years. My mother-in-law finally was told, and gave us a small reception. She died 3 years later, by which time we were very close. My wife died 2 years ago, after 33 years of marriage--I always felt bad that my late mother-in-law missed so many of those few years she might have had with us. Do what you need to do to be happy, never mind the parents.
Michael

[EvilEvilKitten]

Lady, this is your chance to prove to your mother/family that you are an adult. Not by doing some screaming tirade with tears and so on. But by quietly saying "I have chosen. That is sufficient." Expect to be treated with respect and ignore those who do not treat you respectfully..

Do not worry about getting your daily sex back - that will happen on its own.