Wrong doesn't matter, I just want an opinion

[Yariome]

Well me and my gf have been together for awhile, and she wants to try being with a girl. Great, by all means I was ok with this; to an extent. The way I see it, if she can be with a girl why can't I be with another? Of course we are only dating it's not the cheating thing that matters to me I do care about her and want to figure something out. Anyways, so she won't have a three-some which is fine with me, she wants to have sex with a girl, which is fine, but she will not let me share my orgasms with another as she is wanting to let herself.

Am I wrong in believing what I am? Is she being selfish?

[Massdebator]

If she wants to have sex with someone other than you and won't tolerate you doing the same, then yes, she is being selfish. It's called a double standard, and is very similar to, "Do as I say and not as I do." Though, if the two of you are not in an exclusive relationship she can't really stop you from exploring other options yourself. However, I had a hard time understanding exactly what kind of scenario it was that you were laying out in the text because of the way you worded your message.

If you haven't already, talk with her about the issue at a time appropriate for serious discussion, and be civil about it. Ultimately, you two have to decide if your relationship is exclusive or not, and in the event that she is inflexible in her stance that she has the right to fool around and you do not, the two of you will need to decide if that is a dealbreaker. If she is not willing to have a threesome, perhaps she will be open to the idea of you having sex with someone else when she is not present. It could just be that she doesn't want to be there when you do it.

As a side note, it's important to know what constitutes cheating. Cheating is a term that really only applies to marriage and going outside of said marriage. If your girlfriend were to go outside of your relationship and fool around with another girl, she would not be cheating. All that means is that your relationship is no longer exclusive.

Cheers!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Actually this SHOULD be a dealbreaker. Not for the lack of exclusivity but for her selfishness, poseessiveness, jealousy, and insecurity. She may try to excuse herself ont he grounds that this other person is a woman, not a man, as if women don't count - how insulting is that? - but really, the gender of this third person doesn't matter. It is her "I can but you can't" that matters.
Tell her to come back when she's grown up.

[luvyhubby]

I see it differently. She obviously needs to explore her sexuality. I would be patient and see where it goes. I would not equate a lesbian adventure as a threat and think I deserved the right to have a hetro fling while she was figuring things out. Be patient and see where she goes. You may wind up with 2 GF's. More than likely though you will be dumped as she figures out she is a lesbian.



Just my 2 cents worth.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Pffft! She should have done that on her own time.
Cut her loose.

[blatant_narcisism]

Originally Posted by luvyhubby

I see it differently. She obviously needs to explore her sexuality. I would be patient and see where it goes. I would not equate a lesbian adventure as a threat and think I deserved the right to have a hetro fling while she was figuring things out. Be patient and see where she goes. You may wind up with 2 GF's. More than likely though you will be dumped as she figures out she is a lesbian.



Just my 2 cents worth.

I do believe she is being selfish, and I think that if she needs to explore her sexuality, they can work this out. What if he needs to explore his sexuality? No two humans have the same sex drives, fetishes, reactions etc. Being with a different girl would still broaden his sexual diversity.

tl;dr, she may end up with a boyfriend and a girlfriend.

[EvilEvilKitten]

You work things out when you're married and thence stuck with each other. When just dating - you cut them loose.

[LiL_TrUbLe]

She is being selfish! like EEK said it does not matter that the 3rd person is a women or a man.

It’s the fact that she want to try something with a 3rd person and not allow you to do the same.

If she feels she needs to explore her sexuality then she should not have started a relationship. If she is not willing to allow him to explore his.

If she is not willing to come to a compromise then let her go.

[thegunguy]

she wants to explore without someone she actually cares for there. this way it is completely her and another female. She'll decide whether she wants you or find more women to play with. if this one time doesn't cure your problem dump her and find another.

[LickMyGamete]

Yar - so what happened?

Personally, I'm surprised there's so many "yeah, if she does THAT you need to cut her lose!" I'm also surprised that "I want to go explore my sexuality" turns into a free ticket for the other partner to sleep around with others.

But I suppose I'm looking at it from my eyes. If my wife said that, I wouldn't take it to mean I can do stuff on the side. But then you're not married so it's different I guess..making my post pointless.

So what happened!?!