Am I being Selfish?

[Mr. Saint]

Yes you are being selfish and controlling. She is an adult and has the right to make her own decisions, and just because you are married, dose not give you the right to say what she can and can’t do. You let her know how you feel about it now let her make the decision for her self.

[nuttychick]

Originally Posted by Mr. Saint

Yes you are being selfish and controlling. She is an adult and has the right to make her own decisions, and just because you are married, dose not give you the right to say what she can and can’t do. You let her know how you feel about it now let her make the decision for her self.

ahhh well said...

[Ephemera]

Oh let her try a little pot.

Don't be so judgmental. Just because you had a bad time with it doesn't mean everyone else needs to!

[Dbondjuk]

Am I missing something here, perhaps the original post?

[LickMyGamete]

Yes, I originally had it in the wrong section, so I erased the text and said I was doing it here instead. Then a mod came and made some changes,,deleting my post and putting Mr. Saint as the creator..

[cjb1981]

Originally Posted by LickMyGamete

Yes, I originally had it in the wrong section, so I erased the text and said I was doing it here instead. Then a mod came and made some changes,,deleting my post and putting Mr. Saint as the creator..

Well that's a little odd, would you enlighten those of us who didn't read the OP?

[LickMyGamete]

LOL...well I had it framed so well..

Anyway. I'm very much anti-marijuana. I tried it about 10 years ago, realized the people I was with who were doing it were losers and very much content with accomplishing nothing in life and letting it pass them by. I ran across one of my old friends from back then recently,,and he's still in the same place he was back then..which is sad. So anyway..my wife recently befriended us a couple, and it turns out they're very much into marijuana. They've asked my wife a few times if she'd like to try it and she said "No" to them, but then to me admitted she's curious what it was like, since she's never tried it. She knows how I feel about it and I suppose that influences her to say no, even though she's curious. So my question..should I lay off a bit and let her experience it, if that is what she really wants? Or..after seeing that same lackadaisical attitude in our new friends (they're dropping out of college and by their own admission have been smoking more),,should I hold on to my stance and try to steer my family (my wife and I, in our young 20's) AWAY from that behavior?

Of course I wouldn't go so far as to say who her friends could be. And to their credit, they know not to bring it up around us, not to smoke around us, not to drive in the same car as us (since they always have tons on them),,that we just don't want any part of that lifestyle. They're good people, I just hate seeing them glazed over and acting like idiots,,and rather than studying, smoking all the time. My wife and I are both studying to be in the health care field and are doing great in school..just to my mind, we don't need the diversion, and their lifestyle and goals are nothing to envy, so why copy them?

Your thoughts? Do you think I'm being "controlling and forcing my view" on my wife?

[nuttychick]

Originally Posted by LickMyGamete

LOL...well I had it framed so well..



Your thoughts? Do you think I'm being "controlling and forcing my view" on my wife?

This is much different from your original post...

In that post you came across as a right A hole lol saying all marijuana users are losers... You mentioned Disgust etc etc...

So in-light of what I originally read the answer would have to be yes "you are controlling and trying to force your views on your wife"

I am sure your wife isnt stupid, so let her make her own decisions aye

[LickMyGamete]

I never said ALL are losers. Just the obvious one's I've run across. My Pharmacology teacher admitted to taking MANY things when he was younger, he's now successful. I think the key was he didn't let it become consuming like the particular people who stand out in my mind.

And yes I am pretty judgmental and I do feel disgust when people choose to waste their life getting high. Like I said, there is nothing involved in that lifestyle I envy, so why would I copy them?

No my wife isn't stupid, I trust her. I just don't see the value of going to our friends run down smoke filled dumpy apartment, sitting down with them and their hippie roommate and watching my wife and them smoke and then debate over something insanely stupid.

..I couldn't stand seeing that glazed look over my wifes face. Or smelling the stench of it coming from her body. I love her too much and I know she's too good for that.

[LickMyGamete]

The more I think about this, the more ridiculous the fact I'm actually contemplating it sounds. I don't think it's controlling trying to secure the life I was promised with my wife, when she said "I do." My father was an abusive alcoholic, my wife knows this and allows me only to drink when we're out for dinner, or when she says it's okay for me to get a 12 pack (which is rare). I don't see that as being controlling on her part, I see it more so as protecting our investment (marriage). The same goes for the marijuana - I want to have kids with her, I want to explore life with her, where does smoking marijuana fit in this?

Anyway, that's my rebuttal to the controlling part..

edit -- and it's not like she has her heart set on it. I'm going off a simple comment she made about 2 weeks ago. It's not like she's fixated on the idea..