I enjoy sex but I don't last very long

[KeepersPlay]

First off, I'm new here and just want to say that this place looks like it's got some wonderful and useful information.

Now to the question at hand. I have had 7 partners. Only 2 have been able to make me orgasm. One is my ex of 20 months. Sex with him was amazing but for some reason (and here's the problem) I would orgasm with in a few min. Maybe 5-8 min of the whole "love making" began. I feel so bad b/c I'm finished while he has to rush and get off.
I figured it was the fact that it felt SOO good with him.

Well after he and I broke up I was seeing someone and we had sex and sure enough, I also got off VERY quickly with him too.

My thing is, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!? Once I orgasm I'm done for the night. ugh... it sucks.

Help!

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen.

> My thing is, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?

Nothing.

> Once I orgasm I'm done for the night. ugh... it sucks.

Nope, not at all. Most women can have many orgasms during a session. Guys on the other hand are limited to perhaps a maximum of three depending upon age, drive, and "wiring". That said, then why can't the two of you continue to make love? Nothing but perhaps time constraints. There is nothing in the rule book about--
* having to have an orgasm
* having only one
* stopping (unnecessarily) and not continuing

Having an orgasm is nice, great when it happens, yet is not a physiological necessity for a woman as it is for a man. How many can you have? That depends, although certainly most of the time more than one or two.

Guys on the other hand have a longer recovery time being anywhere from several minutes for a young post pubescent teen to maybe as much as half an hour for older individuals. In the meantime, what is preventing the two of you from continuing to make out, kiss, cuddle, and continuing to keep each other aroused until he is good to go, again??

The two of you can work on this while at the same time rebuilding your arousal in order to enjoy a second, third or more orgasms if it is your desire. In the meantime learn how long his refractory or recovery time is and when this amount of time has past work on having him enjoy another orgasm.

Numbers have been discussed and it has been thought that a woman can enjoy perhaps as many as a dozen or so orgasms in a row. Men are limited to three or maybe four. Certainly these quantities make it possible to continue love making sessions for an hour or two or longer. It just requires familiarity with each others capabilities.

The two of you can work together to help you enjoy two or more orgasms in quick succession, or to spread them out and pace one or more to coincide closely with another one of his.

Are you done for the night? Not necessarily and only when you and he have had enough.

Etiquette recommends that the man helps his partner have an orgasm first and last. In between, he can have his and more of yours during intercourse or form Foreplay. Whatever works for the two of you in the moment.

> I feel so bad b/c I'm finished while he has to rush and get off.
I figured it was the fact that it felt SOO good with him.

A guy does not necessarily have to rush, although, his hormones may be driving him to. Learning control and managing love making steps is helpful for a guy to learn.

I recommend that the two of you separately or together read the many articles listed in the Index. It contains links to many helpful informative insightful and how-to articles.

There is nothing wrong with either of you that more information, knowledge, and some learned skills will not help. Goforit!

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[dancingdoc2]

> I have had 7 partners. Only 2 have been able to make me orgasm.

Each of us is responsible for our own orgasms, we do not give them away to our partner. All any of us can hope for is to help him/her have them. To help the process along, teach him how by taking his fingers over a few sessions and move them according to what works for you until he learns to mimic your specific method. The same works for him with you.

There are several articles listed in the Index on whys and how-tos of the female orgasm. There is also much discussion on how to stimulate each other successfully. One of the Keys is in providing feedback--verbal and non-verbal. Read up on this subject.

Lastly, it is important to understand that few sexual positions provide the constant ongoing contact between a woman's pieces-parts and her partner's sufficient to generate the required friction necessary to trigger an orgasm. So, what a knowledgeable, skilled, caring usually does is to reach around and finger his partner while stroking away.

[EvilEvilKitten]

One orgasm and you're done?!?!?!?!
WOW, are you selling yourself SHORT!!!

Sweety - you're NOT a man. You are a woman and we are uniquely capable of having just as many orgasms, one right after another, for as long as we wish. We do not have a refractory period. We do not need to rest. 4 hours, 5 hours and 6 million 564 thousand 3 hundred and 41 orgasms later - maybe, just maybe - you'll be done for the night.

How? By RELAXING, BREATHING deeply and calmly, and just letting the orgasm roll on through you. Any "pain" from increased sensitivity is a false signal because your brain is not yet used to the increased level of stimuli. Keep going on and letting the orgasms come and go, come and go - train your brain. After this, you will be multi-orgasmic and then the party can begin. Now the question will be - how long can he keep it up? You have FOUR hotspots and when really rolling, there is no part of you that ISN'T "orgasmic".

In addition to the excellent advice given you by Doc, see below, also consult The Program in the sticky post at the top, see above. You should be actively participating in sexual congress - giving to him as good if not better than you get. Stop feeling bad for him and get on with learning how to properly make sex mind-blowing for him. Trust me, you fully accept and embrace your full sexuality - and he is never going to complain about anything ever again!