How to bring this up?

[Fire1000]

First off, I have enjoyed reading these forums, there is a wealth of good even-headed information, with a good community to back it up. Such an environment is helpful to ask even the most personal of questions.

A brief background, I have been with my wife for 9 years. We have what I consider a good sex life (especially considering we have children). Our lives are stable with work and play and I have always thought we communicated ok (not great, but not poorly).

While I wouldn't say she is prude, she is definitely the more shy one when it comes to sex, or talking about it. I have been the main sexual aggressor in our relationship, from positions to lingerie and everything in between. It took a lot of work at times to get her to open up but I feel I have had some success in her telling me what she wants.

I guess I consider myself a good lover. I take my time and appreciate her wonderful female body and what it has to offer. Our sex is almost always satisfying to both of us, I have no problem bringing her to orgasm several times and she always tells me she has enjoyed the experience, which is important to me. I guess as a male I know I am going to enjoy it, so I want her to know I care (many of her pasts ex's have not).

As of late our sex has been somewhat routine for us. I don't know if i'd call it boring or stale, but it has been lacking variety, which I have been working hard at trying to solve. As I looked around the internet (god bless it) I ran into a wealth of knowledge, forums, sites, books etc.

One thing I already knew and was confirmed as I started to read around, is that I have a huge fantasy/turn on to have her take my cum in her mouth, swallow or not. I have cum in her vaginally many times (obviously we have kids) and it is easily one of the best feelings around. I am not sure why I have this fantasy, but hey, thats for a different thread. I had figured most females were not even in to this at all, let alone letting their men cum anywhere but inside their vaginas. As I read more (I know online communities can be more 'open') and talked to people I know, I realized many more did just about anything to please their men.

Unfortunately that got me thinking, crap what am I doing wrong to not spark this similar mindset? I have tried easing into the subject, asking her to blow me after we have had sex or as a break but she has seemed reluctant, maybe thinking it is dirty or something. She has no problem giving head otherwise, even before sex with precum all over me.

I guess my question is, have any of you been in a similar situation, and how did it end up? I know the simple solution is, flat out ask her at an appropriate time, but I suppose it felt better getting it off the proverbial chest.

Thanks for your time, and on a side note, what is your favorite position on the front page of 3d sex acts? Damn there are some -interesting- ones.

[Brandye]

You know the answer: Ask her. It is good to have some discussion of sex when sex is not in progress. An idea would be to get the book The Joy of Sex and read it together. There are oral techniques described and pictured there.

I do not think I have ever met a man who does not want oral sex. We women have the great advantage of a variety orgasms - all pleasing. You guys have about the same thing over and over and over.Good handjobs and blowjobs have got to be welcome. There are many women who consider oral sex to be dity but is she takes you into her mouth, adding the ejaculation is a relatively minor step. She might be more comfortable using a condom for a while (non-lubricated poly has no taste). As the mechanics become comfortable, the rest becomes accessible.

There are also many women who consider oral to a required item in their bag of tricks. Prostitutes report it is what keeps them in business.

[odis85]

as far as the no oral after sex goes, maybe she has a thing against tasting her own cum or feels that because its after sex its some form of taboo? religious reasoning maybe?

i have no idea how to ask except for maybe praising her for great things shes done to lead into the conversation.

[Fire1000]

Thanks for the replies, it is definitely not a religion thing, and as I said she has no problem giving oral, its the cum that seems to be a problem.

Maybe she does have problems tasting her own juices, I gave into that curiosity long ago, but maybe she hasn't. I am pretty sure she doesn't masturbate much, as she is relatively shy about pleasuring herself, even during sex.

I am glad you think after oral taking it in the mouth is relatively a minor step, I guess I've always seemed to think it wasn't, however after I thought about it more, it really isn't.

[Brandye]

That first ejaculation in the mouth is a surprise for most women. I gagged, coughed, hacked and made a fool of myself. The problem is not the taste nor consistency as most of us think; it is the first strong shot hitting the gag reflex - the back of the throat. Warn her or have her place a thumb at the base, bottom of your penis. At that spot, she can feel the first warning of the coming ejaculation. I then press the back of my tongue against my hard palate protecting the gag reflex.

If she is willing to hold your penis in her mouth the rest can be learned easily.

[EvilEvilKitten]

And then there are women such as myself who almost force a man to lie down, take it like a man, and give it up - cats liking their 'cream'.

You have to discuss this with her. She has sovereignty - so the decision - swallow or no - is up to her. As to how to bring it up: tell her the truth - tis a fantasy and something you'd like to try.

[Browser]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

And then there are women such as myself who almost force a man to lie down, take it like a man, and give it up - cats liking their 'cream'.

How come I never meet these women?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Because we scare you.

[Fire1000]

No joke, EEK is like (should I use this word?) perfect.

If my woman forced me down starting sucking and said I'm gonna lick every last drop from you whether you like or not, I doubt I'd last 4 seconds.

One of my friend's wife did this to him a few weeks ago and she doesn't even give much head, let alone swallow. I think he is still in a daze from it all, its awesome.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Many men find a sexually aggressive woman VERY exciting.

Just think - no need to cajole this one into bed - she'll race you to it!!
LOL

Speaking of which....Oh, Honey!!!!