What to and what not to do after a relationship...

[Dbondjuk]

Well, recently I ended my relationship and posted dumb shit about it in here: Can it be over?

Recently, my EX has gotten sick ( since Sunday). I tried offering her help, if she needed me to run to school or bring her anything ect... She dismissed it all and was pretty much a bitch about it and trying to hide the bitchiness. So now she calls me at 1 in the fucking morning bitch about how she cant find her flash drive. I realized I had it, so i said yeah i got it, sorry. Then she basically tries to guilt trip me into bringing it over until she realizes she doesn't even have the program to do her work on and its due today. So I'm sure shes all mad, but I've tried to help and be nice and shes being a bitch to me. Normally i would get out of bed for her to do something, but now, no way. Also, shes a huge procrastinator and I'm 98% sure that is why shes super mad, because she waited all week until literally the day it was due to find out she doesn't have shit to do it on. Grats on being addicted to WoW and your pixel boyfriend. I really hope she learns someday, I hate watching her go down in flames and this is the start.

Was this the right thing to do? Should I just forget about EVERYTHING and not even offer help or feel sorry for her? I still care and love her, but if shes going to keep this up, I can't do that anymore.

Suggestions?

[dancingdoc2]

> Suggestions?

#1: Please refrain from using four letter words in your posts.

#2: I believe you did the right thing. Telephoning anybody after 9:00 at night or before 9:00 AM except for a certain few individuals you know will not mind is not kosher. Her 1:00 AM wake up call was rude and inconsiderate. To cater to her at that hour when not an emergency is giving into her controlling and manipulative behavior. Set some boundaries or limits by letting her know that this behavior is unacceptable and that you will not be inconvenienced.

#3: Please read my reply to your other thread.

[Dbondjuk]

Done and done. Although I would like more opinions on the subject just to hear them, if not it's all good. I feel that I did the right thing in the end.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Let her go and let her stay gone.
This is a woman who refuses to 'step-up'.
End of story.

[odis85]

i know you lover her so this is probably going to be a difficult thing for ya but this is what i learned to do with ppl that i shouldn't talk to and ppl that i can't stand. i get their phone numbers and give them all the same name in my cell "dont answer"... this way i dont know who is calling and i wont care enough to check.

you should forget her and move on with life because by holding onto to the love, your stopping yourself from finding someone else. take it from me man, shes absorbed into a world she needs to save herself from before she can be attached to anyone and there's just no sign that shes coming back from that world.

[Dbondjuk]

Ok, I thought this was over with, but there are a few more things I need help with.

I bought her some lingerie back when we were dating around Xmas time and we charged it on her Victoria's secret card. I told her I'd pay it off and stuff when we were together, but now it has come to the point to where I want to tell her to F off and have her pixel boyfriend pay for it since I won't see it anymore. Anyhow, my question is: Should I pay this off? The mature gentleman inside of me is saying ,yeah pay it off. The other part is saying hey, f that girl she screwed you hard and its her problem now.

What should I do?

Also, she said she would buy me a bowling ball ( yes I like bowling and I'm really good actually) back when we were dating, but now she keeps bringing it up about how she wants to buy me one still when she gets her money from school (which is next week). Should I take this? I mean yeah I want it because my last one split in half and I love bowling, that and I think I deserve it from all the stuff I sacrificed lol. But yeah, what to do...?

[dancingdoc2]

> What should I do?

The mature gentlemanly thing. I understand that you are ticked off and hurt, yet manners and etiquette rein above these emotions. Pay the bill.

> Should I take this?

No. Tell her you appreciate the thought, however.

[Dbondjuk]

I have a feeling it will be the other way around. She will insist on paying the bill and then end up buying me a ball... Probably because she thinks it would be less on her conscience about what she did to me, sort of like trying to fix what she did by doing these.

[EvilEvilKitten]

NO

You said that you would pay for the lingerie - so HONOR your word - this is NOT just about her but also about your self-respect. Are you a gentleman or are you a scumbag who uses his girl's credit card and then leaves her with the bill thus givning her a weapon to use against you and blacken your name forevermore? The choice seems simple to me!

Of course you would not accept any gifts from her now that your affair is over.

[Dbondjuk]

Yeah, if she does end up paying for it, I'll still give her what she paid for it. I have a feeling shes gonna pay for it though. Work is tough for me right now and I'm sorta short on the cash, between my bills and hers.

But yeah, I don't even know why I posted this. I know what the right thing to do is, I've read it a million times on here already and its just plain common sense and decency. If I didn't I'd say i was lowering myself to below her level. I gotta stay on top! o_O

By the way, Doc, did you happen to make a sticky about the dancing information towards women? I have a few more things of input and personal experience I could share with you if you like. PM me about it if you wanna get serious.