New Years Fumble...

[rosebanks]

Ok so as some of you may already know i have been with my BF for a little over a year now..
Last night (New years eve) I saw a guy i met a couple of months ago at another party and he came on to me.
being drunk, and after an argument with my bf (who wasnt at the party with me) i allowed it.
it didnt get anywere past a fumble although he did want more and if i didnt keep reminding myself i had a boyfriend i probably would have done...

so my question is, Has anyone else done this and lasted in thier relationship afterwards?

and yes i do know what i did was wrong, but its done now. and, theres absoloutly nothing to change it :\

Thanks in advance.
Rose. xx

[Xsnap]

I guess it depends on just what a fumble means :P. There are somethings that i wouldn't even call a "fumble" and would let my girlfriend get away with just fine, though i might be a little jealous, I.E. flirting and maybe a kiss, not a full on, you just ate my nose because we're macing so much kiss, but light peck i can deal.

If this went into the world of "what was i doing?!" the next morning then you might want to think it over. Why you let things go so far? If your boyfriend could handle the "talk" that would eventually follow? Could you deal with the guilt you may experience by keeping it from him?. I'm going to assume that this "fumble" wasn't so bad, so don't run him down and explain everything just yet. Being upset and drunk is not a good combo, i don't drink if I'm at odds with my girlfriend and go out alone just for that reason.

I've never done anything like that, but I've had it happen from the other end and i really couldn't forgive her, i knew it would become a strain on the relationship because it ruined the trust i had in her,so i ended it

*in case you were wondering she preformed and received oral from a buddy of mine at a party, maybe more but that's the story she stuck to"

[Jase80]

Yeah I gotta agree...if my girlfriend had an argument with me and she got totally hammered, and if she let another bloke touch her tits or even kiss her (my idea of a fumble)...then I'd say she was drunk afterall and despite being disappointed I would at least like her to tell me about it.

If she sucked another blokes dick, or even fucked another bloke then I couldn't forgive that unless we had totally split up and I had perhaps been elsewhere too...but because I am totally faithful and always totally faithful...I couldn't forgive her performing another sexual act on a man...

[EvilEvilKitten]

I totally disagree with all of the previous persons!

Part of being adult is knowing when to keep your mouth shut.
This is one of those times. Why? Because you would tell him for revenge.
Telling him will not make you feel any better and being tipsy or even drunk is never an excuse for stupid behavior. You were angry and didn't think - all understandable. But now you want to rush off and expiate your stupidity by ...being even more stupid and telling the bf so he can pat you on your head even while he thinks the worst of you. Then you'll explain. The more you talk, the deeper into the mire you will plant yourself. This is 'no win situation' so - STFU and bear the "what was I thinking? all by yourself. Unless you really do not want your current bf to remain your bf.

Now, why were you arguing with your bf in the first place?
And why are you being 'exclusive' anyway?

[dancingdoc2]

EEK hit the nail on the head. This impacted you, not the relationship. Some things are better left not said.

That his approach did happen to you, drunk or sober, why did it? This is the situation you need to answer. Learn from this because it likely will not be the only time some guy (known or unknown) approaches you (drunk or sober) and tries to see how far he can get. Women set the boundaries, you fumbled. Next time, put your foot down sooner and your hand up sooner.

[rosebanks]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Now, why were you arguing with your bf in the first place?
I was arguing with my boyfriend because, well for a couple of reasons actually..
the first reason being he thinks i'm not putting in enough effort into our relationship , but i work all week long, and long hours for little pay, i have bills and holidays im paying for and cant always afford the £18 taxi fare home from his house to see him. So he thinks in going off of him etc (and generaly just sulking)

the second reason is hes not long back from amsterdam (apology's if i have spelt that wrong, i am not the best of spellers) and i saw a picture of him and this girl they met there called *Hannah , in bed with him... He claimed nothing went on, but its not the first time ive seen things that shouldnt be on his phone etc...

and the last reason is, he thinks he is scheduled around me seeing my friends (when in actual fact its me having to be fit around his friends) Hes always out drinking on the weekend and this is the only time i can see him really with out being absoloutly knackerd in work the next day.. but this isnt acceptable it seems so we have come to heads about it all.

And why are you being 'exclusive' anyway?
I don't understand what you mean by this question sorry x

Thanks for the reply x

[Xsnap]

lol well see, in a open relationship your fumble would be nothing more then a sexual encounter, which is just fine n dandy. I think is what evil kitten is more or less asking. Why did you two choose to be in a committed relationship. *not sure if that would even be the right term* More n more couples it seems are now opting for open relationships, making things like, sex with another person outside your boyfriend, A OK.
Free love n all that good stuff

[rosebanks]

my boyfriend seriously would NOT be happy with me even kissing another girl or man
as we are a commited couple.

[funinthesun]

Why isn't he the one coming to you then? Drinking out every weekend is expensive - it's even expensive at home. If one is having issues not seeing a significant other often enough and a main culprit was the financial cost of traveling, then isn't the simplest first step towards fixing this not going out and getting knackered every weekend and using the money to see each other? Does yet another night of a stale routine of going out to the bars with the boys really compare to a marathon massage and sex session?!?!?! It appears that it is more of "monogamous "relationship than "committed" - but such is usually the case among youths.

[rosebanks]

Originally Posted by funinthesun

Why isn't he the one coming to you then?

what do you mean?