Online Dating Sites

[Mel_B]

Hello all!

Me and my fiance have been together for 6 years and have 2 children together. About a year ago when our youngest daughter was only a baby we went through a very rocky patch in our relationship, and our sex life went down hill. Since then everything seems to have got a whole lot better until he was checking his e-mail and I walked in and noticed that he had an e-mail from a dating site, but he didn't realise that I had seen it. I know I shouldn't have but later on when he was out I checked his e-mail myself and saw that he was signed up to numerous dating sites and one even had a detailed profile of himself. He had received numerous messages but had not replied to any of them. I confronted him and he said he did it when we had our rocky patch and said that he couldn't reply to any of the women because he knew he could never cheat on me and split up our family.

Since then he has given me so much attention and does seem to be genuinely sorry for what he was doing, but I can't help but feel is he doing this on purpose to make me think that everything is OK. He has also changed his e-mail password which makes me even more paranoid that something is going on.

Any advice would be great, thank you

[Brandye]

Most email and entries on Boards have a date/time stamp right on them.

With the issues you cite, maybe a trip to a marriage counselor is in order.

[EvilEvilKitten]

"My fiance and I" thank you.

Insecurity and fear makes people do strange things. It makes him mess about with dating sites and fantasies of other women. It makes you read over his shoulder, and check his email.

He fears losing you and the kids. You fear him 'cheating' on you.

Instead of this - answer one question. Do you love him?
If yes, then get your head out of your butt and marry him. Get on with it.
If no, then why are you still there?

The ONLY thing that ever matters is what goes on between him and you - everything else is incidental, including online sites, pornography, and your collection of steamy romance novels.

[j56h]

Not to side with the guy here...but I'm married and have come close to registering on some of those sites. I'm not sure why, or even that I would respond to anyone sending messages.

I guess it is just the "being wanted" aspect. At one point my wife had been ignoring me sexually for what seemed like way too long of a period. Out of frustration, looking at available women's profiles seemed rational at the time. Some seemed as though it would be nice to at least chat with, but that requires a registration or membership. Personally, I never went that far, but as I said, the thought has entered my mind.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Women, some of them, have this odd idea that sex is not important - well, sex is THAT important. We all have our stresses, issues, appetites and so on - but - YEAH - sex is important esp with one's lawful mate for life.

I never met an orgasm I didn't like.
You probably haven't either and there's one's fellow - on tap as it were - so why not enjoy a few more? Enjoy him until he cannot remember his name, let alone his password.

[SirCumSized]

Are you married EEK? If not, where do you live? And what would it take to convince you to MARRY ME!!
You can't be for real.You have to be a blow-up doll, or computer......

[EvilEvilKitten]

I assure you that I am very, very real and as advertised.
But, yes, I am married.

[CrackBaby]

when you sign up to those sites they keep sending you emails.

as a man i think he should have his privacy there because of how much tougher it is for a man to move on from a relationship than a woman (i.e.: you can go out and get another man instantly, he can't just go out and get laid).

[Ephemera]

Originally Posted by CrackBaby

when you sign up to those sites they keep sending you emails.

as a man i think he should have his privacy there because of how much tougher it is for a man to move on from a relationship than a woman (i.e.: you can go out and get another man instantly, he can't just go out and get laid).

I also think this is untrue.

Although women have a much easier time finding sex, because men are always on the prowl, this doesn't mean that it's easier for a woman to move on from a relationship than a woman.

And why does that have anything to do with his being on a dating site?

[CrackBaby]

means she might think twice before just saying "YOU MUST DELETE ALL CONNECTIONS TO THAT IMMEDIATELY". it should be enough that he's not using them at all right now.