Not sure how to feel

[amy_simcott]

Hi again.
I have just noticed that my boyfriend has at the very least looked at two sexual videos of his ex on the net.
Should I feel worried?
I aint worried but i do feel awkward.
Should I say something to him?

[Brandye]

Sex vids of his ex? Did he put them there? If so, get out of that relationship; if not, maybe the same.

I would not be worried because this is important knowledge and a chance to dump a real jerk. I wouold be pissed.

[amy_simcott]

well i spoke to his mum this morning.
First of all he did not put them there, this girl did - apparently she tried to take my bf for everything he had, left him just before his child was meant to be born (with another women not her) and basically looked down on everyone else.
She also had an emergency fix on her car last xmas eve - their friend did it for her but it cost £500 which she has never paid.
My bf has always said he would get revenge by sending her dad the pics she put of herself on the net - as she comes from a very respectable family apparently to which they wouldnt be very happy about this stuff it they knew.
So after talking to my bf mum she assured me he was most likely checking them out to see what he can do with them and that he absolutly hates her like the rest of the family

[NizeGie]

Okay:

- Putting sex videos of his ex on the net (which is apparently not the situation here): kind of scary. I'd certainly think twice about the guy at the very least.

- Getting revenge on an ex by sending her parents sex videos someone else put on the net: even more scary. The guy's either got impulse control problems, emotional issues vis-a-vis the ex or he's just a bastard.

- Upon hearing that there are sex videos of an ex on the net, looking at them: kind of normal, actually. I mean, wouldn't it be hard not to just look? There is such a thing as natural curiosity, you know. Now if he's downloaded them and burned them onto DVDs and you hear the player whirring and spinning long into the night, you may have a problem.

[Brandye]

SHE posted the pics? She must be a nut case. In fact it sounds like a few people in this entangled are playing with short decks.

[amy_simcott]

She was a nut case - thats why he was so glad to be rid of her.
She made her own website to get herself through University - after about a week of them going out she gave my bf the login and password for it.
She left him in debt as she constantly tried to take him for everything he got - and with leaving just before his baby was born I can understand why he hates her so.
I dont think he will actually do anything, he keeps saying its not worth his time but he would like to.
So originally he has always known there are videos of her online - I noticed there were three separate sites that he was looking at that had her in.
I just feel kinda awkward cuz she is very pretty, has much bigger boobs and really knows how to move.
I didnt speak to him about it, I do trust him so I wanna leave it.
Most of the time I am wrong anyhow - i always end up getting the wrong side of things.

[amy_simcott]

Ok it doesnt matter now lol.
I talked to him about it, he laughed and told me that wasnt his ex's website and that he hasnt been on it in ages and doesnt plan on doing anything anymore he was just very angry at first.
When I asked him about the site he did go on...it was an american porn star...I do feel somewhat stupid now.
Ever since this whole situation with my pill I have been really paranoid, im getting better but it appears im wayyy over analysing things.
So turns out there is nothing to it, he has even given me the real website for his ex if I want to check.
But I am ok now, just feel embarrassed. he Just wants me to tell him when something is up or ill just keep gettin worse. He never gets angry at me, I sort of half expect him to be but I think that is because of my last relationship. He seems to understand me so well.
Thanks guys, as you said Brandye I would have been very pissed it he really was getting off on his ex, but turns out he isnt so im happy.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Please, please, please stop feeling insecure because he watches a bit of pornography. It is the equivalent of romance novels and equally fictitious. Women who complain about this sort of thing come off as being insecure, jealous, and as not trusting their partners or the love between them. Have the courage to trust him. Do not blame the Pill. Its the bad programming in your head that's really at fault here.

Remember, the ONLY thing that EVER matters is what goes on between you two.

[j56h]

I agree with this comment:

"- Upon hearing that there are sex videos of an ex on the net, looking at them: kind of normal, actually. I mean, wouldn't it be hard not to just look? There is such a thing as natural curiosity, you know. Now if he's downloaded them and burned them onto DVDs and you hear the player whirring and spinning long into the night, you may have a problem."