3 and a half years and boreing as hell

[sexyand17]

My girl friend and i have been together for 3 and a half years and for about 2 and a half of them its been nothing but boring and just plain yawnsville. I have bought her a toy, i bought her other forms of vibrators, i bought a book and basicly am out 50$ cuz she didnt like the toys and the book is brand new. Im just sick and tired of getting " im disappointed " after every time. I find i try but basicly all the time its a disappointing performance or i dont even get into it befor she stops me. This whole time shes been trying to spice things up and try new things and get me to be a more motivated person in general but all i do is sit in front of a screen all day since i lost my job and i never work out anymore after highschool ended 3 years ago. I dont even know what im asking from this post all i know is that my sex life sux ass and im to lazy to fix it. has anyone else had this experience and if so how did you drag yourself out of it to be a better person to your partner and in general?

[dancingdoc2]

> I dont even know what im asking from this post all i know is that my sex life sux ass and im to lazy to fix it. has anyone else had this experience and if so how did you drag yourself out of it to be a better person to your partner and in general?

If you are too lazy to fix it, I do not see what good it will do for any of us to offer suggestions. If the girl does not motivate you, then the end is pretty much just waiting for her to take the initiative.

Perhaps this is the wrong girl for you, do you think? If not, then get a grip on your life or you'll be thirty before you realize it and still in front of the monitor or TV.

My advise if you want to take it is if there is nothing much wrong with you but circumstances, then you can fix this yourself by taking charge of your life and making things happen. You do not need a psychologist to tell you to begin acting the person you want to be. The more you act the part the more it will become the new you.

If you want your sex life fixed, then begin reading the many helpful how-to articles listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen.

A relationship is a cooperative partnership. If you want it to work then man up and do something to make it work. If this also means fixing and spicing up your sex life, then you take the initiative and work together with her. Explore and learn together with enthusiasm. If you show some of that I bet she will want to be a willing participant.

[sera300]

Depression? perhaps seek a counselor? Three years & no job? Who supports you?

[dancingdoc2]

If you are unemployed, your job should be spending as much time getting a job each day as in working one.

How is the job market in your area? Here in cloudy damp California, the market has taken a real dive. New and used car dealerships are or have closed right and left, restaurants are closing and planned expansion of others are on hold. The real estate market has taken a huge dive; and because people are not spending money, this affects TV and newspaper advertising, and this affects their support of sporting activities, the laying off of staff, journalists, anchors, so the trickle-down from this is directly affecting other businesses. Soup kitchens are having a difficult time finding food to prepare not only for the homeless but those just down on their luck.

Yet, if you want a job, they are out there, but you have to go to the employers. In the meantime, try and get on with a temp. agency. This will bring in some money, will make you feel better about yourself, and can very often lead to a job working for the business you are temping for.

[Danzgrl4eva]

sounds to me like u went through some depression, that in itself can be hard!

I hardly EVER had sex when I was depressed, it just wasn't on the plate for me and sadly I had depression basically from the day I married (i lost a baby 5 days before we got married). I am surprised my hubby stuck it out as long as he did but we have separated twice due to my depression and my "I don't care to fix it attitude". I am telling you from experience she is going to get sick of your attitude, if u are concerned then you NEED to do something to get yourself out of the rut!! I do not work (i stay home with my daughter) and I tell you THAT can be PART of the problem! Staying home u get into a rut where u become lazy and just don't want to do anything and life becomes boring but in a way u don't want to admit that, at least in my case! I have decided to send my daughter to 2 hrs of preschool and I will be going to the gym to GET out of the house. If I were u I would start looking for a job that can change alot.

The last 5 months have been the MOST exciting time in my marriage for BOTH myself and my husband! I have decided to experiement and make HIM (and myself) happy and our sex life is great! I have REALIZED why our sex life sucks, why I almost lost one of the best things that ever happened to me. The only way I woke up was this last separation and seeing that my hubby truly HAD it with me, and looking back like I said I don't know how he stayed so many years the way that i WAS, it would bring anyone down!!

Maybe seeek out a psychologist you MAY need some medication to get you to feel better, I had a very hard time till I went on an Anti-D. BUT U also have to WANT to change the way that u, till u want to do that and MEAN it serioulsy its a waste of time to try! It took me to many years and lots of damage to well everyone in my family!

I have been there I know, but like I said YOU are the one that has to do it, u can hear all the negative from your partner but YOU have to be the one to stand up and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and start getting better!!!

If she has been supporting you for 3 YEARS she is going to get tired of that soon. DO something before u look back and say OMG!! It took me 6 YEARS, I didn't deal well at ALL with my grief, but I can look back and say damn what did i do!?! Like I said wake up (and thats hard to say because had someone said that to me years ago I would have probably gone off) ESP if u love her before she tires of it and walks away!

[EvilEvilKitten]

High school is over and there's not a job out there for you and the future doesn't look too bright. Sorry, but them's the breaks. Yeah, you're depressed and your testicles have shrunk down to raisins.

What to do?

1. get a job - ANY job. That one thing alone will change your life & outlook.

2. LISTEN, I mean really listen to your gf. She will tell you, by her ACTIONS, what she wants you to know. TALK to her about what her actions have told you/are telling you. Then build from there.

Sorry, buddy, but lazy time is now over.