I think we are ready to live together!!

[sunnburst1984]

Well said RedRose! My boyfriend and I have been living together for a while (almost 2 years) and no problems yet! If you can talk about your problems with your "significant other", and not always fight about every little thing, you'll be fine. We decided not to get married, because to us, it's just a religious thing. We're not religious per se, but his Mum is, but even she says we're soul mates. We're also expecting our first child in August, and couldn't be happier!

[RedRoses]

Congratulations, dear Sunnburst! Always nice to read such happy news before going to sleep And I'm glad you like my comments. O, and I see it's your first post, so: welcome to this forum

[rocket fuel]

Some excellent advice on here!!!! i believe alot of it is soo true n moving in together and all the rest is a very big commitment. you have to both be sure and not rush into it or it could ruin the relashionship etc, for ever !!!!!

[card69]

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

> So, what sorts of things are important? Here are a few, why not add to the list?
* Children, yes/no

Here are my thoughts on having children:

When the decision has been made to live together, what about children?

I belong to the school of thought that advocates living together as a couple for a few years before starting a family. Why?

1. Take some time to get to know one another as part of a couple under one roof. This relationship is going to be much different than it was as just two people meeting and going on a date, even if you've done it for years.

2. Take some time to build a life together. Use the time to get settled in.

3. Take day trips and weekend trips and go on vacations. Visit the places you've always wanted to see. When children come along, these can be tougher to do.

4. Concentrate on getting thru school and completing your education then becoming established in a job or profession.

5. Save, SAVE, SAVE. Build up your bank account and net worth. Set money aside for the future without the expense of children during the first few years. Begin saving for a down payment for a home. Begin saving for furniture. Begin saving for your children's education. Begin saving for retirement. Begin saving for whatever. While you are doing these things, build a life and a relationship together. When a child enters the family, your time and "our" time together will be strained.

6. (Care to add to the list?)

6. Do either of you already have kids? If so, how does you/your partner feel about them moving in with the two of you? Will your/their kids be moving in with you at all? What are the kids needs/wants? Is the kid old enough to have an opinion about their living situation? If so, how does the kid feel?

Too many parents forget to consider these questions before moving in with a new partner. Being one of those people who, as a child, had said parents who forgot to consider my own opinion, I believe that this is an important approach.
Too many parents get too consumed in the new/fresh love that they forget their kids have their own feelings/opinions/thoughts/needs/wants as well. Combining two old households together to create one new one, doesn't work so well until ALL household occupants have been considered.

Anyhoo, sorry for posting such a long reply. It's 2:13 in the morning and this is my only entertainment

[dancingdoc2]

Thank you for expanding upon the thread's premise. You pose great questions for those who may be considering a blended family.

-doc