Condoms Suck and Post Sex... problems?

[CenterOfAttention]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years now, and we have been having sex regularly for about 2.5 years...
And we made the mistake of not using a condom a few times... (including some of the first times...) and well, now that i realize sex is unbelievable, when i put on a condom, i just very slowly go soft... and ultimately cant finish... its not like I'm worried about anything (atleast I wasnt at first), its just that i cant really feel much of anything... its like trying to orgasm with out touching my penis at all... very difficult for me. And i dont know if theres something we can do, because we obviously cant have unprotected sex...

Also, after ejaculation for like the next 5 mins or so, a really clear sticky "discharge" (for lack of better words) continues to come out of my dick as it gets softer... is this bad? its been happening since before i started having sex, and its more of an annoyance then anything, its not like a lot of liquid or anything, its just there....

Sorry if these questions have been asked before, i looked around and i couldn't find anything this specific...

[Jonathan_Philips]

Condoms do indeed suck, but having a baby when you are not ready for one or worse: having to consider an abortion, sucks far worse (and of course there is the the whole STD issue).

If you are in a long-term relationship have you not considered alternative methods of contraception so that you do not need to rely on condoms?

As a final thought: try out different brands and types as they do vary considerably.

[smallestoftheclan]

I'm not a guy and so I don't know the difference between what it feels like for one to have sex with and/or without a condom. It's part of that what it's like day I spoke about a few months back, maybe under goof'schik. Now Goof and I used condoms very seldom, he having a vasectomy and me a hysterctomy I know proof positive I wasn't getting pregnant, used a condom. We also talked about fidelity, for safety.
Yet when we did use one we used ones that were designed for his pleasure. I suggest you make sure you have the right fit, and try a few different types and makes you might be surprised.

[dancingdoc2]

I suggest putting some lube on just the head of your penis before rolling on the condom. This will give it more "wiggle room" thus transferring more friction.

As for going soft, make sure you are at the peak of your arousal, at the brink of an orgasm before entering and beginning to stroke. If you are stroking and stroking in order to peak your arousal to the point of no return then you are going about things backward.

The oozing is just that, residual semen or maybe precum. Not to worry.

[cyclefreak]

From personal experience, condoms definitely do interfere with a male's enjoyment of sex. It is a barrier which lessens friction and consequently reduces sensation. (And before anyone criticises me, despite that I use them every time, for all the obvious reasons, but nothing will ever make me like the damn things.)

Dancingdoc is right about applying some lube on the penis before rolling on the condom. It does help. There are also some condoms which are made to fit more loosely around the head, so that the latex can move against the penis during sex. I've had better results using those, along with some lubrication on the penis beforehand.

[Brandye]

Try using female condoms. Because they do not move with the penis some men find them to feel more realistic. She should have spermicide in her and then some in the condom.

They look funny but once you are in you cannot see it. Expensive, too, but the WHO has been testing them in the third world as multi-use.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Oh you poor little dear you. I'm so very sorry for you. NOT.

Look, she pumps hormones into her body and you're crying about wearing a condom??!?! Get them in the correct size, add a bit of lubricant and quit whining. She prevents pregnancy and it is YOUR job to prevent even the chance of transmitting an STD including warts by wearing a condom. Each shares the burden of safe sex - wearing a condom is your fair share.

Man or mouse?
No condom = NO sex.



Yes, the continuing discharge is normal, don't worry about it.

[cyclefreak]

Originally Posted by Brandye

Try using female condoms. Because they do not move with the penis some men find them to feel more realistic. She should have spermicide in her and then some in the condom.

They look funny but once you are in you cannot see it. Expensive, too, but the WHO has been testing them in the third world as multi-use.

I would really like to try these (if she agrees, of course, and I can find somewhere that sells them).

Not so sure about the multi-use aspect, though. I would have thought single use only would be the go.

[EvilEvilKitten]

*sigh*

More burden on the woman to have sex. BCPs and female condoms.

Want us to bring our own penises too?

[lnt1103]

Easy EEK, I don't know that it's completely about shirking one's responsibility to prevention.

Sex is about working together. Now, when I went on BC, since I'm diabetic hormonals were contraindicated, so we went IUD (Minera to be precise). Its published effectiveness virtually zeros out the need for a condom so T and I just don't bother anymore. Having said that, notice I said 'T and I'. I only believe in this statement about an IUD zeroing out the need for a condom when in a monogamous, committed relationship and there exists no need for prevention of anything other than pregnancy.

Anyway, my point is, if a couple just flat out can't master getting him pleasure with a condom on, and work together on finding other, equally effective forms of prevention, I don't see that as shirking.