A Rave...A Rant

[thesponge]

..........

[smallestoftheclan]

Take a look around when you get home. Is it worth losing all of that for a piece of ass? Go look yourself in the mirror and thank your stars that you have a wife and kids that love you.
Get over it, time to grow up. If one of your kids is a daughter think what you would do to the guy that would cheat on her. Is this what you want to teach your son, if you have one, that it's ok to go out on his wife because he isn't getting what he wants between the sheets?
I'm a female and sick of men who cheat. Cheating is lying and well I am sick of them too. You either stay, and be faithful, or leave.

[constantlylearning]

Sponge, I have this happen more and more often. Unsolicited and uninvited.
I do not have the same situation that you have but brasion ladies seem to
be more and more abundant. It has actually happened at several restuarants
of late. You have to ask yourself exactly what are these ladies after. I know
you might think you are the world's gift to women BUT what are their motivations.
Thrill, excitement, adventure, or PERHAPS $$$$$$$$$$$$$. Think about it just a
word of caution.

[lnt1103]

Amen Small! CL as well.

And I would submit that there's one other person whose motivations you need to figure out-your wife's. WHY is it that, even after you've spoken and she's promised to make an effort, she doesn't do so? Have that discussion. If she's like I was a while back, it's self-consciousness. Uneasiness about 1)what to do 2)how to do it so you'll enjoy it 3)letting it get stale but 4)not pulling some idea out of her hat that you're going to hate and end up derailing the session. Those things are actually what brought me to this site my first time here. I wasn't all that experienced and felt totally clueless. Until one day my BF and I talked about how I rarely initiated and he told me that the stuff he likes the best is not the stuff I 'research', but rather the stuff that I do totally on my own. It gave me the confidence to dream stuff up and give it a shot.

However that's just me. With two kids, you may have done enough that self-consciousness isn't an issue. Just my two cents.

[Gorgeous Mistake]

How could you do that to her? I'm surprised this is your worry, how selfish are you?

Ugh.. pathetic but whatever your life, not mine

From what I see, maybe since you're always ready to go, she's never been used to or ever had to initiate. Maybe you don't even give her the chance. I bet if you held back and played hard to get, she'd sure be trying to get in your pants after a week or more. That is if you can handle not having sex for a week or more, including with other woman.

[smallestoftheclan]

And another thought. There was a post on here not all that long ago and a lot of the replies came to the point that MOM was just plain tired from dealing with the kids and the house all day. And if she does also work outside the home that doesn't take all that much away from it.
Even though I've never had a child I have worked with a lot of women who have. They sit at their desks worried about their child and if they are ok at daycare or school. Is that fever or are those sniffles going to come back or worsen. What am I going to feed everyone for dinner, did Suzy remember her lunch, did Junior remember his homework.
Maybe if you made part of the plan, check with your folks to see if they can come sit one Friday or Saturday nite. Call a nice hotel in the area and make a reservation for a room with a king size bed. Tell your wife, ok honey here is the deal. Mom and dad are coming to watch the kids and you and I are outta here for the evening. The rest of it is up to you and I know that this will be special. Give her a week or two as a heads up and I don't think you will be disappointed.

[thesponge]

Ah, you guys might be right. Guys always want what they can't have, huh?

I do find it interesting that when a woman post that she is not happy, some of you folks suggest she find a lover or don't take no for an answer. Hmmm....

[sera300]

Are you really unhappy? Or just curious? You do not sound unhappy; however, do sound as if a man who's wife is not willing to explore and enjoy more. I would just talk & try.

And if your choice is to go outside of the marriage don't be surprised at what you find; think that's going to make you happy?

[lnt1103]

Originally Posted by thesponge

Ah, you guys might be right. Guys always want what they can't have, huh?

I do find it interesting that when a woman post that she is not happy, some of you folks suggest she find a lover or don't take no for an answer. Hmmm....

Never ONCE have I seen anyone suggest to anyone that they go outside the marriage for sex. Get a grip.

OK maybe that was harsh. But seriously, ending a current dating relationship to seek a new one because of sexual incompatibility is not remotely the same as infidelity to a spouse. And those who suggest the former(which is the type of suggestion you reference) are not condoning the latter(of which you are guilty).

[smallestoftheclan]

Originally Posted by thesponge

Ah, you guys might be right. Guys always want what they can't have, huh?

I do find it interesting that when a woman post that she is not happy, some of you folks suggest she find a lover or don't take no for an answer. Hmmm....

I don't ever remembering seeing anyone tell a woman to take a lover or not take no for an answer. It's pretty much the same you have to decide if there is a way to make the relationship work. I think with a marriage and kids involved the effort made has to be greater than a relationship that does not involve those. In fact I just ended the benefits part of a FWB because I wanted a commitment and he won't. I've known him almost 9 years, benefits started about 3 years ago. I am 47 he is 60, neither of us has ever been married and neither of us have kids. And I got lots of great advice from this board, and lots of support when I made the decision.