when a man loses his sex drive.

[luvmakin]

i've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and i lost my virginity to him when we first got together. The sex is kind of dull now and its always him doing all the work because i never really had much experience. I know that he's not really enjoying it because he's told me.. but he cums in like, 5-10 minutes everytime even though we've been having sex for 2 years now. I need tips on how to be better for him in bed because i really have no clue what the hell i'm doing most of the time.. i want to be able to ride him but i feel like im doing it wrong and most of the time it seems like he doesn't like it because he gets limp or i just feel uncomfortable because i feel like im heavy. PLEASE i really need help..! thanks.

[luvmakin]

for all the men out there.. what could possibly cause a man to lose his sex drive. I've been with my b.f. for a long time now and the sex used to be pretty good.. but its been a while now that i feel like he never initiates the sex. hes not aggressive enough and sometimes when i initiate it he blows me off .. we've gotten in big fights about it and i've cried and cried about it because i don't understand, and its taken a toll on my confidence. now i feel stupid trying to initiate it and so basically we never have sex since he doesn't ever initiate it. Hes told me he doesn't have a big sex drive, maybe the sex sucks.. and i have put on 10 lbs. I want HONEST opinions on what i should do, what i'm doing wrong and WHY he has lost his sex drive.. (ps: hes not cheating, trust me i know.)

[Lost one]

Recently I had the chance to hop into bed and lose my virginity. It seemed easy since I never seemed to have a problem getting hard before. Sadly, I discovered I couldn't do it even though i want to. My body is not a machine. I can't just hop in and plow away. That's why I can here to learn and get advice.

I learned that many men are not erection machines and I needed something more then physical contact. I can't personally give you advice on what to do, but let me say you can not expect a man to perform on command all day and night. Maybe he needs a break or maybe seduction and not just 'lets go to bed'.

[Jonathan_Philips]

Hi Luvmakin,

I have been struggling to write this reply to you for a few minutes now, but I am not wording it terribly well. It is possible that your boyfriend naturally suffers from low testosterone levels (an easy enough thing to test at your doctors), but I suggest it is more likely to be the result of a downward spiral of your previous sexual experiences together and really, there are only two options for you both:

1. Call it a day. I know it might sound harsh, but sexual deprivation is a very serious matter and can lead to all sorts of mental and physical problems. Perhaps you are simply not suited for one another.

2. Go seek professional help. There are relationship counselors and sex therapists out there who really can aid you in your quest for a better life together.

The one thing you should not do is simply accept the situation. Talk to him calmly, see how he feels and then move on from there.

Best wishes

Jonathan

[luvmakin]

thanks so much for your advice. Sometimes i think the same thing too, but it really is hard to accept just because it has really made me feel like im horrible in bed, or hes just no longer attracted to me. I know it will take me some time but i think you're right i'm eventually going to have to accept it because I don't think it will get any better from here. thanks again.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Of course, you're terrible in bed! JEEZ!!! What did you expect? You have had so little experience and yet you expect to be perfect at it? Not going to happen.

STOP CRYING!!!! STOP FIGHTING ABOUT IT!!!

As you have seen, crying and fighting does not FIX the problem. So stop doing it. You have a man that requires skillful handling and you have no idea what you're doing. Okay.

Here is what you do, and there is no "right" or "wrong" involved, stop thinking and just do this: find the sticky post entitled The Program. Read it, then do it. But do NOT let him orgasm. You prevent him by stopping. Just stop whatever you're doing. Then return to step 1 and begin again. This time stop in another place. Begin again - and by this time he'll be as aggressive as you could desire.

Next time, instead of going back to step 1, stop and insert a period of Body Worship, avoiding his genitals. Delay, delay, delay until he's about to scream.. and then jump on top of him and do whatever. There are sticky posts about Body Worship and Being on Top.

Remember that he's good for one shot every hour and do not expect more than 4 shots per night. Make sure he drinks plenty of water before sex. If you do not know how to give a massage - get a book on it.