How to tell him

[MrsLeavitt]

Okay so I been with my now husband for 7 years and our sex life is great, but lately it has become more difficult to enjoy it. Heres the thing, i have openly admitted to enjoying sex a little on the rough side being more of the dominatee as apposed to the dominater, but lately he has been a little to rough like he's not thinkin about what he's doing and just doing it. Like if he gives me oral he has been more bitey and always rubbing to hard and it begins to be uncomfortable not to mention painful after all the fun is over. I find myself too focused on how much I will be swore after and I can never enjoy it. How can I help this sitiuation? How can I tell him it sucks without hurting his feelings or bruising his ego?

[goof'schik]

Tell him so that it makes him please you, and isn't that what it is all about? An example would be, I know we both get caught up in the moment and I know you would never want to hurt me. I know that you want to please me as much as I want to please you. Yet the last few times this this and this has happened and it's just not doing it for me, can you try this or try it this way. And I want to know what do you think, is there something I can do for you or do differently for you so that you get the pleasure that I want you to have.

[Brandye]

During a non-sexual evening, talk about it. Then go practice.

[LittleFury]

I would wait until the next day, and then just say something like "Aww, I'm still somewhat sore. Let's try to be gentle for a while". Maybe that will help. And probably won't bruise his ego.

[lnt1103]

Have you tried in-the-moment feedback? "Oooo not QUITE so hard honey....there that's better"

[constantlylearning]

Why INT you say the dangedest (not a word but nice slang) things..........

[constantlylearning]

Sometimes using proper grammar doesn't cut it (don't take that to heart
on your mid-term final or criticial observation report on a company's status).
but perhaps forum based it's COOL.

[lnt1103]

Somehow CL I never pegged you for a 'dangedest' kinda guy LOL

[Rowan26]

I know you said you are not dominant but maybe one night you could take control and be like I want to tell you what to do. Make a game out of it and then the next time he gets to rough be like honey you remember how you did it that one night and ask him to try that again. Good Luck!

[constantlylearning]

So, how was I "pegged" just the record and all........maybe better told behind
closed doors...LOL