Painful Sex For Her

[thatoneguy]

Hey everyone, I've been dating the same girl for just over three years and having sex for just over two. Even after these two years, and trying all different kinds of condoms and even large amounts of KY, it's still painful for her. Is this common at all, for the sex to still be painful after this long? Any other suggestions on what to do? I can't get her to go to the doctor because she is afraid her parents will find out (she's 21 but deathly afraid of her parents thinking she isn't perfect, i.e. premarital sex in this instance...).

thanks for any help, advice, or tip you can give us to try to get rid of the pain or find the cause of it

[Brandye]

Not normal. In fact, quite concerning. All women should have a gyn exam BEFORE becoming sexually active. She should certainly have an exam now. Any 21 yo should be having regular gyn exams (starting at about 16) and it no ones'business but hers what she talks to the doctor about. Few doctors expect 21 yo women to be virgin and we really do not notice either way. She MUST explain this situation to her doctor so that it can be addressed.

[sera300]

If she is concerned regarding her parents look up your local Planned Parenthood site link: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/. Look on the home page & put in you zip code to find the closest location.

No information can be disclosed to a parent under any circumstances. Her parents will not find out since they pride themselves on confidentially and cost containment; they are a not for profit organization.

[thatoneguy]

She has regular exams, every 6 months I think? Maybe not quite that often. But I'm mainly wondering if there is something specific she should have the doctors check for, or I guess she can just tell the doctor the problem and have him figure it out.

[thatoneguy]

oh one more vital piece of info that i can't believe i forgot, the sex only hurts when we use a condom, she says it feels like it pinches or something. Could be a latex allergy?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Are you lubricating the outside of the condom?????
They usually do cause some dryness if you're not getting her to ejaculate.

[Tao]

Well, to start with, there are the HIPPA laws that expressly prevent any of her sensitive medical information getting to anyone who she doesn't grant access. That applies to ANY doctor she sees, and as was mentioned, planned parenthood is very experienced with the issues surrounding socially sensitive gynecological issues.

Second, this obviously isn't normal, and needs to be assessed by a doc.

If it's only happening with condoms, my first thoughts also point to not enough lube, especially if she has longer labia. I've often had to reapply lube multiple times during long sessions when using condoms, if she wasn't pumping out enough of her own juices.

My only other thought is perhaps she is experiencing Vaginismus that is somehow only related to condom use.

[LittleFury]

Is the sex in itself painful or just in the beginning after you penetrate her?