maybe Im a prude..

[thisismyusername2]

but my husband seems to have this odd "love" for my rear (ahem.. anus). He is constantly pulling my ass cheeks apart when we have sex.. he says to see himself penetrate me from behind..but I dont know. He also gets off on sticking his finger in my ass. I dont enjoy it at all. Ive tried.. but it does nothing for me. He REALLY wants to do anal, we've tried it, didnt work out despite numbing lubes and a long session of warming up (i bled.. BAD!). Anyways.. I know THATS normal.. but its HIM getting off on stickin his finger up my ass that seems odd to me! He begs me to let him do it when he gets close to climaxing and swears that a LOT of guys enjoy doing this to girls.

Am I really that out of "the know?" Is it really that much of a turn on to straight guys? Or IS IT really odd that my straight husband enjoys looking at and fingering my ass?

TIA!

BTW: If there is an article on this, you can just kindly point me in that direction.. ive searched, but found nothing yet.

[sera300]

It has to be something you find enjoyable. If not, it's not for you. Doc has several spots of anal stimulation without penetration--prostate stimulation threads and posted stickeys for men; however, the info can be applied to a female regarding anal play. The area around the anus is very sensitive and if stimulated properly many find it enjoyable (men & women). Going straight to anal penetration, if you are not into it, you will not relax and find it pleasurable.

I have found many men find the visual a turn on and enjoy the penetration since it is a tighter fit. Same for women only if they find it sexually stimulating.

Since you are not enjoying it, skipping such may be more your thing. If done properly, anal penetration, you should not have bleeding.

--BEGIN HERE--w/a Partial INDEX of Sex Info 101 Sex Ed. Topics

[Ephemera]

In answer to your original question,

yes, many men find anal play with their female partners extremely arousing.

Myself included.

I think because we think it's dirtier (figuratively, erhmph), or something.

[EvilEvilKitten]

If you're not enjoying it - STOP DOING IT.

Now then, as a bit of education for your husband, take a dildo and press it up his rectum while you're having sex. Please use vaseline. Forget the numbing cream. Just tell him how sexually stimulating you find it.

Yes, men find the "forbidden" sexually stimulating UNTIL they are asked to experience it for themselves. Case in point - bisexuality, guys? Wanna try it?

Just because he wants it does NOT mean you have to say yes, even if it is your husband. It seems he's focusing more upon what he wants than what you want. Are you an easy multi-orgasmic ejaculator yet? If not - what in the hell has he been wasting his and your time on anal for when he cannot do straight vaginal sex right? Please see the sticky post entitled The Program above.

Once he's gotten over the shock, try investigating subtle nuanced sex, finding and exploring each other's hot buttons, doing body worship (see the sticky posts above) getting into each other's minds in a sexual way. You are both evolving over time and even with the same partner, sex is different each and every time - if you're paying attention. So pay attention. A sexually unbridled woman can blow the doors off of any 6 men you'd care to name - so get on with it.

[constantlylearning]

Like so so many questions...........a little heart to heart will probably go
a long way in this situation.

[Yariome]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

If you're not enjoying it - STOP DOING IT.

Yes, men find the "forbidden" sexually stimulating UNTIL they are asked to experience it for themselves. Case in point - bisexuality, guys? Wanna try it?

She is very right especially with the first point she makes.

I am a very straight male, find nothing of the same sex appealing, and I will allow my girlfriend to put a dildo in my ass because I like the feeling of my prostate being massaged.

As for doing it to my girlfriend, she doesn't like more than a simple rub to her anus and that's if she's so horny she doesn't know what to do with herself. I have been with one girl that enjoyed anal, and it was sadly because her ex boyfriend did it so much when it hurt that she finally got over the pain and just enjoyed it. Don't come to that point.

[Browser]

Some of the girls I've slept with have enjoyed it - some haven't. I usually end up trying at some point (not the first time) in case she does. If she likes it, I'll keep doing it. If she doesn't, I won't. It's not really about me.

[sarah_rsl]

Men these days have an obsession with anal sex which I think the porn industry has a lot to answer for.

But there's a difference between anal sex and a man touching your bum, which to be honest I don't really have a problem with. However my rule is that if they do finger me there they can't touch me vaginally, which usually discourages it. The shower is actually the best place to do it.

[constantlylearning]

The cleansing environment......LOL

[cyclefreak]

Originally Posted by sarah_rsl

Men these days have an obsession with anal sex which I think the porn industry has a lot to answer for.

I don't, but I think you are right about the porn industry.