Dildo confusion in long distance relationship.

[weebo]

Hi, Im currently in a long distance relationship with my gf for over a year. She went off to college thats 4 hour drive from where i live a year ago. We see each other every 2-3 weeks, and although we have had and still have a lot of bumpy rides...our relationship is still full of love and lust. But the problem is i cant help feeling jealous everytime she goes out to a club or any other things she does. Im 100% sure that she would never cheat on me w/ anyone, and if u see us together she is very attached to me and loves me a lot. In fact she says she wants to marry me, and actually wanted to get engaged now and get married after 3 years (after college).
Here is a problem, i have never lasted longer than 3 months in a relationship, ive been with 3 women/girls sexually, and had fear of long term relationship until i met her. W/ her everything is different, i honestly love her, but it is a long distance relationship and most dont work, i fear we wont survive.
Heres the thing, one of her geeky friends has a friend whose also nerdy that tried to fix her computer when it broke. Apparently he had a vibrator wrapped in a box that he got from somewhere (not sure). He felt uncomfortable having it and gave it to my gf, she took it. This made me jealous, but she told having a dildo never came to her mind, until it was offered for free unopened. She also said she wanted to try it out with me mainly. Im gonna see her this weekend, and im kinda having issues about this mainly cuz ive never been put in this situation before. I am fearing that she'll like it better then me, although i gave her clitoral orgasm, multiple of times, i still have never been able to give her a vaginal one. To be honest...im not huge, maybe a lil above average around 6.5 inches. Watching porn and women taking huge penis' made me a bit insecure. So what im trying to say is...im kind of getting jealous of a dildo, i dont know if its bigger then my penis yet but that is also giving me an insecurity, thinking she'll like bigger penis' too due to the dildo. Should i be worried?

[Ducy]

Okay...simply put...grow some self esteeem...

Are you really that terrified of an inanimate object? A plastic toy that cant keep her warm at night, pay the bills, look deep in her eyes and and say it loves her?

From what friends have told me, vibrators can give great orgasms...but you dont have to worry, as long as she doesnt use it 24/7. The thing about most woman is 75% cant orgasm from just penetration(thanks brandye)...So the fact that you are making her cum is good...would you rather her never cum?

One thing though, it is kinda strange that some random guy would give her a vibrator for no apparant reason....You should talk to her about this....Not knowing how your girlfriend is, I would have to say that she is either to embarassed to say she bought it (since I dont know any guy who just walks around with a sealed up vibrators fixing computers) OR this guy is just a trip...lol

[nuttychick]

ehehheheh wish i knew computer fixers who carried free vibrators

[Godiva]

Seriously, don't sweat it. Like Ducy said, a toy can never replace a person. I recently got my first sex toy, a vibrator with clit stimulation, from my boyfriend for Christmas! We're also in a long distance relationship and having a vibrator is wonderful, but when I go home, it is my boyfriend, not my vibrator, that I physically crave. The vibrator just holds me over until I can go home or he can visit me.

Not all girls are the same, but I've never heard of a girl choosing a vibrator over their man. Vibrators can't kiss, lick, suck, squeeze, tickle, hug, or cuddle.

[Ducy]

I really hope cyborgs are never created....

[dancingdoc2]

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Originally Posted by weebo

Hi, Im currently in a long distance relationship with my gf for over a year. She went off to college thats 4 hour drive from where i live a year ago. We see each other every 2-3 weeks, and although we have had and still have a lot of bumpy rides...our relationship is still full of love and lust.

Bumpy is good as it is part of your learning process and how to interact with and relate to your partner. It's fighting that is bad. In between these two extremes are discussions and negotiations.

But the problem is i cant help feeling jealous every time she goes out to a club or any other things she does. Im 100% sure that she would never cheat on me w/ anyone, and if u see us together she is very attached to me and loves me a lot.

Therein lies the key to success. You have to believe and live your life in accordance with this belief. There is a term called "Implied Consent" that I toss around a lot here. In this case it means that you proceed with your life and activities knowing you have her consent (implied) unless and until she says otherwise or suggests an alternate path.

Trust is part of the equation. Trust is given (to our partner) until it is broken. Unless you have proof that trust has been broken, do not waste time, effort, and energy, wondering "what if" or the worst. She is with you because she wants to be. Bank that!

A successful relationship works in part because the people involved are in it because they want to be. No one can force our partner to stay if s/he no longer finds the relationship beneficial. We want in because we want the relationship to be greater than the sum of its two parts. When this no longer is possible, there is little you can do to maintain it if the other person is not willing. So, how does this affect you? Even if she is half a world away, like men and women in the armed forces, the relationship works because they work together even while apart.

In fact she says she wants to marry me, and actually wanted to get engaged now and get married after 3 years (after college).

OK, this is a good sign; however, I would not recommend an engagement longer than nine months. If one or the other of you wants to be engaged, now, it is either a trust issue or a confidence issue and the latter relates to "Implied Consent".

Here is a problem, i have never lasted longer than 3 months in a relationship, ive been with 3 women/girls sexually, and had fear of long term relationship until i met her. W/ her everything is different, i honestly love her, but it is a long distance relationship and most dont work, i fear we wont survive.

"If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it." The two of you are young and are still learning about love, life, and, relationships. This all takes time and is a learning process that the two of you participate in together as well as separately. Communicate frequently, but do not call or write more than twice a day, if that often. Work on goals and if you both have jobs, then put money into two savings accounts for each of you--one that is exclusively yours, one for what will become a joint savings account after becoming engaged.

The relationship may not survive. Statistically, young relationships tend to be problematical, especially between young people. If the two of you have not dated much, then you owe it to yourselves to date lots of others so that when Mr. or Ms. Right does come along you'll be better able to recognize the person. If these happen to be the two of you, you'll have a greater appreciation for each other having dated others along the way to your engagement. Your relationship will survive if it is what you both want; therefore, it behooves you to focus on her with the future as your concern. In the meantime, keep it going, while at the same time dating others and sampling what humanity has to offer. Both of you need to experience other personalities, characters, ideals, goals, moral and religious values, quirks, etc.

Heres the thing, one of her geeky friends has a friend whose also nerdy that tried to fix her computer when it broke. Apparently he had a vibrator wrapped in a box that he got from somewhere (not sure). He felt uncomfortable having it and gave it to my gf, she took it. This made me jealous, but she told having a dildo never came to her mind, until it was offered for free unopened. She also said she wanted to try it out with me mainly. Im gonna see her this weekend, and im kinda having issues about this mainly cuz ive never been put in this situation before. I am fearing that she'll like it better then me,

This is understandable yet simply nonsense rationale. She received the vibrator as a gift, no strings attached. Does it really matter the gender of the person? Trust her. Trust in yourself. Being jealous is a sign of insecurity and you have no reason to be insecure.

She wants to try the vibrator out on you this weekend? How soon can you get to her? Vibrators for guys are great, although unlike with women, they do not do as much for our genitals. Use it on your bodies and her genitals.

Vibrators are fun. Vibrators are relaxing. Vibrators are therapeutic. Vibrators may be a substitute for having a lover at hand, yet I couples who have these and other toys generally want a lover to be an integral part of their use. Fear not.

although i gave her clitoral orgasm, multiple of times, i still have never been able to give her a vaginal one. To be honest...im not huge, maybe a lil above average around 6.5 inches.

In addition, use your finger to stimulate her G-spot and her posterior Fornix. Let her experience these orgasms this way, first, then try using your penis. Over time your aim will improve and if she provides feedback you will know when you are touching the right places.

Very few sexual positions place a womans vulva and its pieces-parts in constant contact with the man's body. This is why it is difficult for women to climax from intercourse. So, what a wise, caring, knowledgeable, lover will do is to reach around and stimulate his partner's clitoris and labia by hand. Before intercourse, help her to have one or more orgasms, first. After intercourse, help her to have one or more if it is her wish. If you want to extend lovemaking then take periodic breaks from intercourse and return to fooling around. Give her pieces-parts time to recover. Many women have reported here that if intercourse lasts longer than about ten minutes they become sore, tired, and, bored. Give it a break, and then return.

Size does not matter. What is important is that the owner/operator knows how to use what Mother Nature has endowed him with.

Watching porn and women taking huge penis' made me a bit insecure.

Haven't you heard the ol' expression that you cannot believe all you see in the movies? Same goes for X-rated videos. It's also known as movie magic.
Fear not.

So what im trying to say is...im kind of getting jealous of a dildo,

Get over your insecurities and embrace the tool as an extension and enhancement of what you can do. These are toys and aids, nothing more. They are only valuable and worthwhile in the hands of a skilled and knowledgeable operator. Learn to get the most out of your lovemaking whether it be with your fingers, tongue, lips, palm, or a toy by exploring their use together. Your relationship is a partnership. Explore and learn together.

i dont know if its bigger then my penis yet but that is also giving me an insecurity, thinking she'll like bigger penis' too due to the dildo. Should i be worried?

Work on the relationship. Work on the emotional component of the relationship. Working on hugging, cuddling, listening, kissing, and fondling. The sex will take care of itself. It's not all about you and your endowment. Learn this well. Most of the world's male population have penises much shorter than yours due to heritage and genetics.

Making love has different priorities for the male and female of the species. For guys, it is mostly about getting his rocks off with some sentiments tossed in. For women it is mostly about the sentiments and the physical and emotional closeness. Learn how to be a great lover in all ways with what you have and this will be enough.

I recommend that each of you read each of the articles listed here:

--BEGIN HERE--w/a Partial INDEX of Sex Info 101 Sex Ed. Topics

There is much for the two of you to learn. Knowledge is empowering.

I hope this is of help. Please feel free to ask if you have more questions or concerns.

[EvilEvilKitten]

OMG grow a set willya please!

Being your girlfriend doesn't mean you OWN her. You have only those rights she gives you and nothing more; and vice versa. So get over the jealousy thing or else just draw a big red L on your forehead and be done with it.

That's why your previous relationships never lasted. Your jealousy.

Now you're being jealous of a TOY! YEGODS man, what ARE you thinking?? ("replaced by a dildo." YEAH RIGHT! Like THAT'S ever going to happen.)
If you are not careful, you will literally drive this woman away if you continue going on like this about every little thing. Do you want that to happen? No? Well then, STOP IT and stop it NOW.

Hey his girlfriend: do you want to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder making sure he DOESN'T have a major melt down everytime you get out of his sight? Want to be able to go to work, talk on the phone, read your mail, go shopping, etc. without having to answer for every single moment of your time 'who'd ya see? what did you do? what did he/she say? what did you say?". You want to live in a PRISON?

Get my point yet, buddy boy?

[browneyedgirl]

If you pleasure her with a dildo/vibrator, then YOU are still part of the process and still pleasuring her. You can add that as something fun that you do with her and that she can enjoy with you. Or you can be jealous of a vibrator and not participate so that she doesn't associate that pleasure with you. Sex toys do not replace people, they are in addition to people. Plus, she can put on a little private show for you. I would think you would be happy that your gf wants to explore this with you.

[HardNgood]

Don't worry pal, that dildo can't mow the grass or shovel snow, so you'll be safe!! ROFLMAO

[nuttychick]

Originally Posted by HardNgood

Don't worry pal, that dildo can't mow the grass or shovel snow, so you'll be safe!! ROFLMAO

lol nice .... The Dildo never gets Jealous or talks back or plays mind games either.