Spouse's past lovers

[Shiroh6]

I have found a way to get my spouse to talk about all of her past lovers, without embarassing her. We just text each other! The reason we are doing this, as there are probably a lot of people that think this is taboo, is that I get turned on by it, and she "gets it off of her chest". She has some guilty feelings about her past, whereas I really don't have a past. This allows her to get it out in the open, I don't get jealous, and she can help clear her conscience.

I'll bet there are some out there that have issues with their own past. Try this way of communicating. Maybe it works, maybe not. But it does allow her to say things she normally couldn't do in a face to face setting.

[Brandye]

I am glad that it is working, for now, for you. Read around and you will find many stories of not being able to deal with a partner's past.

[Shiroh6]

Thanks for the response. So far, so good. I know she had a lot of guilt about her past, though it was not very extensive. (just a few past lovers) In her mind, it was! Getting it out in the open, and me not being jealous about it has been wonderful for us both.

[EvilEvilKitten]

The real question being - why the guilt at all? There's nothing wrong with having sex.
I'm rather proud of my past which I assure you was quite "extensive".

[ua322]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

The real question being - why the guilt at all? There's nothing wrong with having sex.
I'm rather proud of my past which I assure you was quite "extensive".

Depends on your background and upbringing.

It is well established that you feel no social restraints when it comes to sex. I think that's great, but I assure you that you are in the minority.

Regardless of whether it makes sense or not, most people have felt some degree of shame concerning sex at some point in their lives.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Background = WASP. Upbringing = upper middle class.

The point of my being here is to show people that sex is NOT bad, dirty, or something to be ashamed about. Change your mindset and you can change your life for the better. Be willing to think things through beforehand, be willing to set goals and to do what is necessary to make them come true, face up to the truth and accept reality - these are the things I try to get people to understand and attempt. Yes, my prowess may be legnedary but I'm not here to brag but to serve as an example of what self-awareness, self-acceptance, and facing life with both courage and joy can achieve.

If you just would have it so.

[sera300]

I do not the "shame aspect", perhaps younger people are inhibited but being ashamed of embracing your sexuality it the persons prerogative...its a mindset. Much has to do also with those who are married (or have been) and have great sex lives. There is not a big deal with it...embrace it. In the end people only "rob" themselves of a natural human acts....

[HardNgood]

UA32

Where the hell have you been dude??? Welcome BACK!!

[machine_rat]

Originally Posted by Shiroh6

The reason we are doing this, as there are probably a lot of people that think this is taboo, is that I get turned on by it, and she "gets it off of her chest".

Why do I get the feeling that the next step will be you going down and propositiong the bag boy at the supermarket to come home and have sex with your wife while you watch.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Machine rat..and the problem with that is what?

"You know you are in the lifestyle when you overhear one woman complaining to another that "she was flirting with my husband!" and you wonder what the problem is?"