sharing fantasy.. wrong/right?

[questing4answers]

My husband is the only man I have been with, but I sometimes daydream about trying new things. I told him about it once and he got upset. I want to learn different things, like how to give a BJ and how role playing feels. He is absolutely adamant about it being a bad idea because it would change me from the shy person I am to a more aggresive person. I'm just curious and don't know if I am wrong to wonder about those things or not. Any advise is appreciated.

[Ducy]

As long as it is a fantasy its fine...He is probably insecure since hes is saying how bad it would be to become aggressive rather than shy. (and your new found aggression turning into finding another man)

He cant stop you from learning how to give a BJ. I mean practice on a banana and then do it on him. I mean hell you could try in by giving him a good morning BJ or tie him to the bed while he is asleep and dress up as a sexy cop and go from there. I mean he cant stop you, and once he realizes what he's been missing when you try all this stuff Im sure he wont stop you.

[Beckeh]

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[questing4answers]

He says I should not think of stuff like that. Being curious is not wrong is it? The try it on a banana idea is different, how will I know I'm doing it how it would feel good to him???

[demonbuttercup]

So he doesn't like BJs and you've never attempted to give him one??
What does he think a bout them?

[questing4answers]

He's not aware that I know he watches porn and I know he's had it done and liked it because I have heard him talk with his friends before. I don't have a lot of sexual experience, so no I've never tried to give him one. From what he says, he and most other men on the planet love to get a bj. I suggested we send our children to thier grandmother's house and spend some time together. When I suggested we try something new, he got real upset. He gives me plenty of sex, but I thought he'd like to try something new. I made it real clear I wanted him to teach me,but he seems to think it will change me some how???

[questing4answers]

He knows I won't run off with anyone else. Family is my priority, but I've heard of some things that sound like fun and want to learn what they are and maybe try them with him. What would you suggest?

[Ducy]

OKay....well...get some rope, and while he is asleep tie him to the bed....naked of course. Then get him hard and go down on him....make sure he tells you what he likes.

To be honest it sounds as though he may be shy since he doesnt want you to go down on him yet he loves it to death (i.e. afraid of being himself) or that he likes them but with you its more of an emotional based sex than physical...I mean there are some girls that I would do things to that havent been thought of....and then there are girls who I just couldnt do certain things with...

[dancingdoc2]

> To be honest it sounds as though he may be shy since he doesnt want you to go down on him yet he loves it to death

He sounds like a control freak to me.

If he really liked oral sex, he'd be figuring out ways to get it. If he liked anything, else, same thing.

Does he perform oral sex on you? If not, why??

Do you give him a hand job as part of your love making? If so, how does he like that? If he enjoys this, then have a look at www.jackinworld.com
There are two sections on this site that show many ways to stroke a penis for variety and spice.

If you want to learn about oral stimulation, please read this article:
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?

You can then practice on a banana. Shucks! I heard about one woman who put some cream in an empty Ketchup squeeze bottle. She stated that the cap and neck resembled the Glans and top of the shaft, and, that by squeezing the bottle, she was able to mimic an ejaculation. Apparently, this helped her deal with the issue of swallowing or cumming in the mouth.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Questing, the man is insecure to the maximum possible. He also has some ideas in his head that have distorted his vision. In his view, his wife should be shy and submissive esp when it comes to sex. He is thinking that anything more on your part would make you into one of those women he sees in his pornography. He does not want to think of the mother of his children in that light. Depending upon his age, most likely you will NOT be able to change him. Depending upon his culture, you may NOT be able to change him.

Your choices are:

1. to give up being curious and accept him as he is - misguided and all

2. divorce him and tell him why - which was NOT about the sex, but about his UNWILLINGNESS TO DISCUSS the issue and DISCOVER a solution that works for the both of you.

Good luck to you!