Read b/f's messages - what do i think?

[ilovehim]

I really stupidly read my boyfriends messages, and found one from another girl which said "i havent dropped you in it with ur lovely gf," and i found one in his outbox sayin "i dont know why im bothered but i like you just one of those things really."

i never told him that i had done it but when he said he loved me i asked him whether even though he loved me did he still like other people, to which he replied yes, but he wasnt going to tell me who an then said to me that he had chosen me above other people.

i am a naturally insecure person and have been more so in the year since my stepdad died, my question is do i forget about what i read and trust my bf? thing is he has hurt me in the past.

[sera300]

I have no clue what your messages mean...sorry.

[Clovers]

I think the safe bet is to keep your eyes open. I wouldn't say criticize all your boyfriends actions, however.

If you check his phone again and have questions, consider asking him for explanation, without being threatening, or accusing.

About being insecure, your boyfriend should already understand this, and protect your security, which I think is important for both in a relationship, especially after previously hurting you.

I wish you luck.

[oedipussy]

I have no idea what these messages are supposed to mean. But either you have to accept the fact that he may like other people but chooses to be with you, or give up on relationships entirely. I doubt there's anyone in the world that can satisfy your "I'm the only girl you can ever look at" expectations...

About being insecure, your boyfriend should already understand this, and protect your security, which I think is important for both in a relationship

Nope. No one is responsible for someone else's security, or lack of it. Get some self-confidence or people will run from you for the rest of your life for being a needy psycho-bitch...

[Clovers]

Originally Posted by oedipussy

I have no idea what these messages are supposed to mean. But either you have to accept the fact that he may like other people but chooses to be with you, or give up on relationships entirely. I doubt there's anyone in the world that can satisfy your "I'm the only girl you can ever look at" expectations...



Nope. No one is responsible for someone else's security, or lack of it. Get some self-confidence or people will run from you for the rest of your life for being a needy psycho-bitch...

Intelligent.

[oedipussy]

I take it you're being sarcastic. I shamlessly admit that I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but I know plenty about being a positive human being who is responsible for his own emotions and self-worth and knows how relationships are supposed to work. Perhaps you should step up and take control of your OWN life rather than criticizing those of us who know that you don't rely on others to validate your existence... Your confidence should come from you ALONE.

[Clovers]

Fair enough, however he also chose the relationship as is. And, I believe it is up to each partner to provide security for the other. Being insecure, and having security from your partner are not one in the same, agreed?

[Carib]

Don't second guess yourself from a couple of sketchy messages. I don't get any meaning from them...?

[curious_woman]

First of all...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING READING HIS MESSAGES!

You don't own him! Unless he gave you permission, you should NOT be reading his personal stuff! Would you like it if he did the same to you? It doesn't matter if those messages say he likes she-males with big cocks and brown nipples! You invaded his privacy...

IF he said it was fine for you to read, obviously he has nothing to hide. Maybe this girl is coming on to him and he said no. Just ask him.

[EvilEvilKitten]

I agree with Oedi (don't faint - it happens) and I also agree with CW that YOU HAD NO BUSINESS READING HIS MESSAGES.

Your insecurity is YOUR problem, not his. Stop making him pay for your errors of judgment. "He hurt me in the past." WHINE WHINE WHINE - if so then you should not be with him now. You took him back not because you liked him but because you wanted someone - anyone- to be 'yours'. Seeking that validation Oedi mentioned.

Y'all acting like being jealous, possessive, and insecure as "natural" is terribly WRONG and accepting those negative emotions as 'natural' sends the worng message to people. If you truly love, you do not fear.

He told you precisely what you needed to know - he chooses to be with you. That is ALL you really need to know. Now get on with it and stop 'second-guessing' the man.