Is This Considered Cheating?

[HRTeresa]

Is this considered cheating. BF and I broke up after two years. Bad fight. Mentioned that he was unhappy about my weight. I had quit smoking and did put on a few extra pounds. We were broken up for about a week. In that week, I slept with somebody else. Im not like that. Never done anything like that. But i was feeling very depressed. Did make me feel special. The next day my guy comes over with flowers! Apologizes. Now we're back together. Do I owe him an explanation? I have mixed feelings.

On a side note, out sex life had gotten stale. No suprises. There were a lot of new twists and turns with this random guy. Did things to me that have never been done to me! Made love to my feet, for example! How do I tell my guy about these things, without him catching on?

[tommy_tucker]

you were single at the time so no, it not tecinaly cheating. although your bf may see this as a down point. i wouldnt say anything to him myself. did he have sex when you were broken up??

if you want to try new things with out leading on that you have had sex with this other guy then i would say that you watch some porn (any type you want) then during it say some thing along the lines of '' i wouldnt mind trying that''. this would all depend if the two of you would both be willing to watch it.

[Brandye]

You are trothed to no one. Who is the wronged party?

You owe him no explanation or anything else. I think I'll start a pool on how long you two will be back together: I want 3 December!

[HRTeresa]

Who will I be back together with on Dec. 3? The friend? My guy?

[tommy_tucker]

what brandye is saying (i think) is how long you and your bf will last. i want jan 15th

[sera300]

I say they split just before Dec 20...you owe him nothing, no explanation. You are not married to him nor he to you...I say split now & date others. Be nice & polite since you never know where you will be in the future...you both need time to grow and to explore.

[dancingdoc2]

Let's look at what you said as well as what is between the lines.

> Is this considered cheating. BF and I broke up after two years. Bad fight.

Solid relationships do not generally break down (or up) over a (bad) fight. Mature people committed to a relationship talk things out, find a solution that both people can embrace and live with, and move on. That you did not is one reason people are wagering how long your reestablished togetherness will last.

> We were broken up for about a week. In that week, I slept with somebody else. Im not like that. Never done anything like that.

Depressed or not, you are like that or you would not have done that.
Depressed or not, rebound or not, why do have sex with someone so soon?

> Did make me feel special.

Ok, although, I think you ooked to the wrong person. Better it be you, your self worth, and your self respect, your confidence.

> The next day my guy comes over with flowers! Apologizes. Now we're back together. Do I owe him an explanation? I have mixed feelings.

No, but I would recommend that you get a medical check up whether this other guy is someone you know or not. Either way, you do not know what he did the night before you were with him.

Did you accept the flowers out of hand or did you to get your differences solved?

> On a side note, out sex life had gotten stale. No suprises.

I gather that he has more enduring qualities that attract you to him.

> There were a lot of new twists and turns with this random guy. Did things to me that have never been done to me! Made love to my feet, for example! How do I tell my guy about these things, without him catching on?

Oh come on now, where is your imagination? You have girlfriends that chat about all manner of things. You read magazines and there are often romance stories or how-to suggestions. Perhaps you overheard others talking about such things. These are just a few ideas for you to use, true or not.

Unless the two of you begin acting more maturely, work together instead of separate and apart with a "me" attitude, I do not give any relationship much hope. A successful relationship has communication as its key, and is more than the sum of its two parts. A couple works together for the common good. We give in order to receive, rather than to take.

[browneyedgirl]

Ever seen the show Friends? This sounds exactly like the infamous Ross-Rachel split... "We were on a break!" I don't think you need to explain to him UNLESS you didn't use adequate protection (condom) with the random guy. In the situation that you are exposing him to any disease, you must tell him what happened. Otherwise, you were broken up, so it's not cheating.

[SugarAddict]

Originally Posted by HRTeresa

Is this considered cheating. BF and I broke up after two years. Bad fight. Mentioned that he was unhappy about my weight.

First of all, why are you with someone that doesn't support you and says things about your weight?

Second, I don't think it's cheating...but keeping secrets in a relationship is doomed for failure. If this bothers you, it will only progressively eat at you and get worse over time. I think honesty is the best policy. See how he takes the news. Especially if you 2 are sexually active, he deserves to know if you were sleeping with someone else...even if it was just once. Which I hope you used protection during this, and aren't putting your boyfriend's health at risk.

But honestly...haha I think its best to be honest. If you two want to have a successful relationship, starting over again with skeletons in your closet is no good.

[HRTeresa]

Thanks for the responses. I feel miserable over this. Like a Scanc.

I don't think I'll be breaking up with my guy. I think what happened was just a blip.

What's wierd is that the other guy doesn't even feel bad. And he has a gf. Odd?

Do you think he used me?